Once Upon a Zombie
by whutnot
Summary: There is a zombie outbreak and Regina and Emma team up to protect Henry. Will be Swan Queen.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **So I decided to write a Swan Queen zombie AU fic. idk where this is going yet, but i hope there's some interest. This is my first time writing these characters, so it may take me a couple of chapters to get the characterization down.

disclaimer: if i owned this show, i think you know what would be happening in it

* * *

She was halfway through a glass of very fine scotch when then incessant knocking on her door forced her to get up. Her heels clicked against the hardwood floor of the foyer, echoing through the empty house. Very few people would be brave enough, or stupid enough, to knock on her door this late. Or at all. Especially after Cora's death. Regina took a deep breath, putting on her best Mayor mask and opened the door.

It was barely wide enough to see who was on the other side when the hurricane called Emma Swan barreled into the house, Henry in tow.

"Miss Swan! What is the meaning of this!"

"Jesus, Regina shut the door!" Emma swept her to the side and slammed the door closed, locking both the handle and the deadbolt. Her hair was disheveled, and there was a streak of blood across her forehead. The terror in her eyes did little to calm Regina. She could not remember a time she had seen Emma truly scared.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Regina gave Emma her best glare, and crossed her arms over her chest. "You can't just barge into my home like that. Although, Henry, you are always welcome. Your room is just how you left it." She knew she sounded desperate, but the words fell from her lips anyway.

Emma just stared at her. "Have you not looked at your phone? I've called you like fifty-six times!"

"I was busy," Regina replied with a sneer. If trying to get drunk off her ass counted as being busy.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Regina!" Emma grabbed Regina's arm and steered her to the front window, pushing the curtain aside. "Look!"

Through the dark, Regina could just make out figures shuffling down the road in front of her house. There was something off about their gaits, but she could not quite put her finger on it.

"What? Is it now a crime to take a walk? And I'll not have you use that kind of language in front of _my_ son."

"Regina, look!" Emma pointed to the closest figure, and Regina squinted to better see. It was one of Snow's guards from the old world. Someone who had been brought along with the curse through proxy. He stared straight ahead, his shoulders hunched to one side and his left leg dragged ever so slightly. Another figure flowed behind him, ambling aimlessly, eyes lifeless. Regina shuddered as she realized they were both covered with blood.

"What's wrong with them?" Regina whispered, forgetting about her anger at Emma.

"I don't know. But they're all like that."

"Who?"

"I don't know, like everyone almost." Emma pulled her away and made sure the curtains were closed again. "Henry, go upstairs."

"But Mo-"

"Go!"

Regina tried to ignore the stab in her chest that always followed when Henry called Emma 'Mom,' but it must have manifested on her face anyway because Emma gave her that sad little smile that said she understood how it felt.

"Hey, look, I've tried to talk to him, but-"

"It's fine, Miss Swan." Regina did not trust herself to say anything else, and there were more pressing matters at hand. "You said there were more people…afflicted?"

"Yeah, like, we saw at least….fifty more people like that on the way here, and...people are dead, Regina." Emma paused, regarding Regina curiously. "Have you really not been outside at all today?"

"No. I haven't."

"God, it's been going on since last night, I guess." Emma shook her head, walking to the study uninvited where she picked up Regina's half-finished drink and knocked it back. "People were acting weird, and I was getting a lot of calls about disturbances and like weird shit, you know? People going around…bite-biting other people. And-and I think it's zombies."

"What?"

"Zombies, Regina, zombies!" Emma gestured wildly with her arms, hair flying around her face.

"Are you serious?" Regina stared at her, trying to process the fact that Emma was, in fact, serious. "That's completely ridiculous."

"Oh, so it's fine that you're the Evil Queen, and my mom is Snow White and her best friend is a frickin werewolf, but zombies are unbelievable?"

Regina considered it for a moment. "I do know of magic that can animate corpses, but it is very dark and very powerful. Only two people would be able to use that kind of magic. One was my-Cora." It was easier for her to cope if she separated Cora the sorceress from Cora her mother.

"And the other?"

"Who do you think?" She raised a brow at Emma.

"Rumpelstiltskin."

"The very one." With a heavy sigh, Regina poured them each another glass. "But this doesn't seem to be like that, from what I can tell. And he has no reason to do this. Not now that he has his son." She could not keep the grimace from her face, and Emma shrugged apologetically. There was nothing to be done about it now. "I think this is something else. You said they were biting people?"

"Yeah. Like zombies." Emma gave her the look that clearly said 'duh.' It was one Henry had perfected over the years, and Regina hated how similar they looked doing it. "Haven't you ever seen a zombie movie? No, never mind. I know the answer to that."

"Some of us have standards."

"Whatever. If this is anything like the movies, then we have to go. Now."

"We?"

"Yeah. Why do you think I'm here?"

"I don't pretend to know what goes on in that useless brain of yours." But something in her chest tightened. They had thought of her. Either Henry or Emma had thought of her.

"Yeah, like I was going to let Henry's other mom get eaten." Emma rolled her eyes. "Do you own anything that's not a power suit? Like jeans of something? Because we're probably going to have to do some running and stuff."

"If you think I'm just going to drop every-"

"Dammit, Regina, this is serious!" And the terror was back in Emma's eyes. Desperation. "We can't stay here. We need to find some place defendable, and we need to pack the essentials. Mary Margaret and David are meeting us at the sheriff station with anyone they could find."

"There's no way in hell I'm going to spend any amount of time-"

"Look, I know you hate her, and you have every right to. What she did was horrific, and I can't even imagine what you've gone through, but she's my mom and you're my…son's mother? I don't know. But I'm not going to be separated from either of you." Emma pointed her up the stairs. "Go pack."

Regina did not have the words to fight back because what Emma had said was ringing in her ears. You have every right. No one had ever taken her side. No one had ever told her that what she was feeling was legitimate. No one had ever acknowledged the pain she was going through. Goddamn Emma Swan. So Regina gave her a last glare before marching up to her bedroom where she carefully packed the few pairs of jeans and leggings she owned. She then changed out of her skit and into one pair of jeans, feeling out of place and strange. She pushed that feeling down and rummaged through her closet for the one pair of low heeled boots she had once bought, thinking she might take up riding again. The stables, though, had only ever brought bad memories. So the boots sat unused at the back of her closet. Until now. With a last glance around the room, she grabbed the picture of her and Henry that sat on her bedside table and carefully tucked it into her bag.

When she returned downstairs, Henry and Emma were both waiting for her.

"Henry, there are some granola bars in the kitchen. Why don't you get them?"

For once, he obeyed her without question, and Regina turned to Emma. "I assume you have your weapon with you?"

"I do."

"Good. And you won't hesitate to use it, even against people you might have known if it means protecting Henry."

"Yeah."

"I…I know Henry doesn't want me to use magic, but-"

"I think in this case he'll let it slide." Emma glanced quickly at Regina's attire, but said nothing about it. "Though I would feel better if you had like a baseball bat or something."

"I have one in the shed. Henry wasn't much into sports, but he did try little league for a short time."

"I guess he gets his coordination from his grandmother."

They shared a smile, both thinking about Snow White's lack of elegance while running.

"Mom?" They both turned to look at Henry, who winced when he realized that he would have to specify which one. He looked at Regina then at Emma. "Emma, should we bring some water bottles?"

"Uh, yeah kid. That's a good idea." He retreated back into the kitchen, and Emma once again gave Regina a small shrug of apology. "He just needs to-"

"Just be quiet." Regina held up her hand, jaw set tightly as she tried her hardest not to let Emma Swan see just how much it upset her to hear Henry call his other mother by a name she had once thought was reserved only for her. They waited in silence for Henry to come back, Emma pacing the room while Regina composed herself.

When he returned, Emma hoisted Regina's bag over her shoulder. "We'll grab the bat, and then we gotta run to the car."

"Your car?"

"Yes, your majesty. My car."

"No."

"Regina-"

"It's not safe."

"And your ancient Benz is? That thing is actually probably older than my bug."

Regina bristled. "It is much safer, and don't get me started on your driving skills. We're taking my car. And I am driving." Emma looked as though she wanted to argue, but a thump against the door cut her off. Another thump followed, and the two adults exchanged a frightened look.

"You're parked out back?" Emma asked.

"Yes."

"Then your car it is. Henry, let's go."

Regina followed them to the back door, taking one last glance at the empty house before stepping into a world of destruction.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: **I'm going to ignore everything that happened in the last episode and Tamara is going to be Neal's happy love interest and they are going to stay together.

* * *

Seeing the town she had created from nothing in such a state of chaos should have hit Regina harder than it did. But she was too much in shock for the destruction to completely register. On their way to the sheriff's station, they passed at least fifteen bodies, and countless mindless, well, zombies, for lack of a better word. Twice, Emma had reached back and covered Henry's eyes as they drove past groups of zombies crouched over an unfortunate victim. It made even Regina sick to her stomach when she realized what exactly was happening.

"Should we stop and-"

"We can't help them now," Emma interrupted tightly. Regina did not know what had made her ask in the first place. It was not like she actually liked any of the residents of Storybrook. Perhaps it was because she understood the helplessness they would be feeling in those final, terrifying moments. Regina was well acquainted with helplessness. "Just keep going. If you stop for too long, they'll swarm the car."

Regina nodded, noticing how the sound of the car attracted the attention of the zombies. She knew she could probably defend them with magic, but that would eventually take its toll on her. Better to save it for an emergency.

"When we were in your world," Emma began quite suddenly, startling Regina, "your-I mean Cora used some sort of spell to send these corpse monster things after us. Could this be like that?"

"I don't think so." Regina pushed down the pang of loss that wedged itself in her chest at the mention of her mother. "You say it seems to be spread through bites."

"Yeah. Probably any kind of contamination of the blood or something."

"Like, it can get into your blood through a cut or a scratch, too," Henry piped in. Regina glanced at him in the rearview mirror. He looked shaken and pale, but he said the words with confidence. Her poor, brave, baby boy. She had worked so hard to protect him from the horrors of the world, to shelter him and keep him safe. And now the world had turned on them. "You have to be really careful." Regina could see that he was consulting one of his comic books. Not one she had bought him because she certainly would not have approved of a comic about these zombie things. Emma must have given him the money. Somehow, looking out the windshield at what had become of her town, Regina could not find it in her to be angry.

"That's assuming that these…creatures are like the ones in your comic," she replied. As horrible as the situation was, she relished having a conversation with Henry where he did not recoil from her or look at her like she was a time bomb waiting to explode in a fit of uncontrolled rage and magic.

"They seem to be," Henry said, ducking his head to read again. "Slow moving, but attracted by sound. And they're not too scary by themselves, but they're really dangerous in big groups."

"Glad one of us is read up on zombies," Emma muttered. "Take the back way," she then said to Regina, pointing down Main Street, which was slowly filling with its former residents.

By the time she pulled in behind the sheriff's station, Regina was sure that coming into the center of town was a mistake. They needed to get as far away from the center of the population as quickly as possible.

"Your parents better not take too long, or I'm taking Henry and getting him away from this," she hissed to Emma as they slipped into the empty station.

"That's probably a good idea."

The agreement shocked Regina, but she recovered quickly. "I'll give them ten minutes."

"We can't leave Grandma and Gramps!" Henry insisted, looking stricken, and Regina fights to keep the grimace from her face. Her hatred of Emma's parents only grew as the days went by, but they were still important to Henry. And she was trying to be better for him.

"I'd stay and wait for them." Emma's assurance seemed to appease him for the moment, and he nodded. "They shouldn't be long." She checked her phone, and Regina could see the worry behind her eyes. It struck her then that Emma chose to be separated from her parents to come to the mansion and retrieve her. As isolated as she had been lately, Regina knew that she would not have realized what was going on until it was possibly too late to defend herself against the hordes. Emma had no obligation to her, to save her. Unless she was doing it for Henry. Regina hoped he still cared enough about her to not want her to die.

All three of them turned at the sound of the door opening, Emma with her gun raised and Regina conjuring a fireball, ready to throw.

"It's just us!" Charming shouted, hands raised. Trailing after him were Snow, Red, Granny, and Archie. Part of Regina was glad to see the cricket had survived so far. Despite his betrayal, he had still tried to help her. He had tried when no one else did.

"What is she doing here?" All eyes turned to Regina at Granny's growled question.

"Emma! You said you had to get things for Henry. Not that you had to get _her_!" Charming placed himself between Regina and his wife.

"If I wanted to kill Snow," Regina growled, "I would have done it when she came to my home, begging me to crush her heart." She sneered and leaned forward, any walls she may have let down around Emma and Henry coming back in full force. "I wouldn't waste the effort."

"Regina," Emma said sharply. Then, to her father, "She's with us because she's Henry's mother, and she has magic."

"So do you," Charming argued.

"Yeah but I don't know how to work mine. Sure, Gold gave me like one lesson but-"

"You learned magic from Gold," Regina cut in, long learned fear and anxiety flooding her system. "Are you out of your mind?"

"Uh excuse me, I needed to know how to create a protection spell because someone was trying to kill us."

"Not you," Regina clarified, teeth grinding together. "Just him. And he's dangerous, Miss Swan. You of all people should know that."

Emma sighed and rolled her eyes. "Of course I know that. But I couldn't exactly ask _you_ at the time, could I?"

"As entertaining as you banter is," Granny cut in, "we have more pressing matters." Her crossbow was hitched on one shoulder, and Regina was suddenly glad to have her there. They may not have ever gotten along, but she immensely respected the elder Lucas woman. And Red, for that matter. She trusted them to protect Henry with their lives. "We have to leave. Get out of town."

"But the town line is still there," Charming reminded them. "We leave, and we lose our memories."

"Yeah, and these things can still get in," Red added. Nervously, she glanced at Regina. "Is there any way to put the barrier back up, _Your Majesty_?" The title was said with such sarcasm that Regina felt herself bristle, but Emma laid a hand on her arm. It was enough to make her choke down the biting retort that wanted so badly to make itself known.

"I don't know," she said instead. "Gold created the original curse. He was the one who knew what it would do, not me. I just enacted it."

"Wait, Gold made the curse?" Archie stepped forward, regarding Regina seriously.

"Yes. Presumably to find his son. Had I know, I would have been more hesitant to use it." If she thought about it too much, the sheer amount of manipulation that had brought her to this point threatened to overwhelm Regina. Nothing in her life had been her own. "According to Henry's book, Rumpelstiltskin became the Dark One and then lost his son when he refused to give up his power. The rest of his life has been about engineering a plot to get to this world and retrieve his son."

Emma's face softened considerably, and Regina tried not to shift uncomfortably under the all too understanding gaze. "So he used you, too."

"So it would seem."

"That doesn't excuse what she's done," Charming said, putting a protective arm around Snow.

"I never asked to be excused," Regina snapped. "Not by you." Her eyes flitted to Henry, who was looking at her with a strange expression. One she could not quite place. Something close to puzzlement, maybe some understanding. She had worked so hard to keep him sheltered. He did not have the frame of reference to understand people like her. People like Emma. People who had to work every day to keep the darkness inside them from taking over. Regina reflected that she had failed to do that much of the time. The darkness in her was so very strong, and it was so much easier to let go than to try and claw her way back to the surface, fighting against everything in her life that had beaten her down to this point. Sometimes that bled over into how she handled Henry and the whole Emma situation, and if she let herself think about that too long, the guilt would keep her from breathing.

Sometimes someone very brave or very stupid would ask her if she regretted all that she had done. Usually, she told them to kindly fuck off, but the truth was that if she let herself feel that regret that was always churning in the pit of her stomach, a constant in her life since the day she killed the King, if she actually let herself feel that remorse, she would lose what little grasp on sanity she had left. It would consume her. So instead, she focused on her rage because, while it would destroy her just as surely as the remorse, it was a much slower process and so much less painful. Her life had become about minimizing her pain. It was all she had left, and she wondered, at times, what it was like for the people who had happiness to look forward to, even if it was just brief shining moments. She would give anything, had given everything, for those moments. They did not seem to be part of her story.

"Can we just like forget the whole curse thing for the time being?" Emma asked, inclining her head towards the window where Regina could see the zombies, for lack of a better word, beginning to congregate around the building. "Regina, do you know how to cast a like protection spell thingy?"

"Yes, I know how to cast a protection spell _thingy_. How eloquent you are, dear." Regina glanced out the window, counting how many zombies there were. Too many, she decided. "But not here. There's no food, no beds or anything helpful in survival."

"God, Regina, of course I didn't mean here," Emma said. "I'm not stupid-shut up!" Regina clamped her mouth closed from where she had been about to challenge the veracity of Emma's statement. "I've seen more zombie movies than you have, okay, so I think I know a bit more about the proper course of action than you do."

"We shall see."

"Why," Red asked with a tilt of her head, "is everything a competition with you two? Seems like a lot of unresolved….frustration." She lifted a brow, and Emma and Regina both turned to glare at her. Snow looked as though she were ready to either faint or vomit, Regina could not be sure, and Charming just stared at them, uncomprehending.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Emma assured her, but to Regina, it sounded just a little too defensive.

"Yes, I can assure you that I have no interests in Miss Swan." Regina sneered at the woman in question to prove her point. Red just shrugged.

"Anyway," Emma gave another glare in Red's direction. "We need to find a better place to hole up, and Regina can put up a protection spell thing. Sound like a plan?"

"Great. But first, we have to get through that," Granny said, jerking her thumb at the window. They all gathered around, looking at the undead citizens of Storybrook, and Regina felt a blanket of dread drop over the group. How many of them could come out of this alive?


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:** thank you all so much for the reviews and the interest in this story and all the encouragement! you are all so wonderful! this chapter is a little longer than the last two. I'm on spring break right now, so i have a lot of time for writing.

* * *

"Okay, Granny, you and me will take the lead," Emma said, hoisting her gun and looking ridiculously like those detectives on TV. "Then David and Mary Margaret, Ruby and Henry, and then Regina and Archie."

"Hoping I'll get picked off?"

"No, Regina. I trust you to watch our backs." Emma held her gaze levelly, and Regina could see the truth there. Then she smirked. "And I also know that you like Archie enough not to trip him up and let him get eaten. Can't say the same for the others." Regina shrugged. There was no point in denying it. "Henry, you stick close to Ruby, okay?"

"Yeah, got it, Mom."

This time Regina was ready, and she suppressed the flinch that wanted to show itself. That did not stop Archie from looking at her with pity. The magic crackled at her fingertips, but she clenched her fist and extinguished it.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" she said, her voice steady, though a little shrill. "The longer we stay here, the harder it will be to leave."

"Right, the cars are out back," Charming said, steering Snow towards the door. She had yet to say anything, and Regina wondered how weak a person had to be to let murdering someone who they thought needed to be murdered affect them so much. Regina had done much worse in her life, and maybe she had taken it a bit too far, maybe she had come apart at the seams, maybe she had let it take over her life, but she had always been able to keep going. She had never let it reduce her to a helpless girl, needing someone to get her through. How pathetic.

Nodding along with Charming, Emma led Granny to the door, waiting for the rest to get in position behind her. Regina grasped the baseball bat she had brought along, noting that Archie had a heavy wooden cane, and that Red gripped what looked like a crowbar. Regina pressed herself close to Henry's back, hoping to make him feel more secure. He looked up at her and leaved back so that his head rested briefly on her chest. It was not a hug, but it was close. Regina wondered when he had gotten so tall. She had missed much the last few months. Too much.

"All right. I'm going to open the door on the count of three." Emma's hand rested on the handle. "Then Granny, David, Mary Margaret, and Red will go in David's car, and Archie, Henry, Regina, and I will take Regina's."

"Wait, where are we going?" Henry piped up.

"Oh. Uh…." Uncertain, Emma glanced around at the other adults. "Any suggestions?"

"Mom's house is near the edge of town," Henry said, looking nervously at Regina. "And it's big enough for all of us."

"Regina?" It was really unfair that Emma could make her eyes that wide and pleading. She held a distinct resemblance to a puppy.

"I thought you said we couldn't stay there."

"Well, not permanently, but we need a better place to plan." Emma bit down on her lower lip, and Regina sighed.

"Did you forget that when we left, the door was about to be beaten down?"

"Okay yeah, but like this time there are more of us, and we just have to get inside and then you can put the protection thing up." Emma blinked her lashes and smiled at Regina, nodding her head.

"Fine. But don't expect me to bake any of you an apple turnover." The joke fell flat, and Snow actually flinched. "Let's just go."

Emma nodded, turning back to the door. "One, two, three." She yanked it open, gun raised, and began sprinting to the cars. Granny fired off two shots before she was even through the door, and Charming pushed Snow out in front of him. Red positioned Henry behind her looked back to make sure Regina and Archie were close behind.

Emma reached the cars first, then looked up at Regina, eyes wide. "The keys!"

Regina suddenly felt the weight of the keys in her pocket. The zombies were closing in around them, and she needed the doors to be open when they got there so she could shove Henry in. "Emma, catch!" The world slowed down as the keys sailed through the air. To her left, Granny fired off another arrow, Charming raised his gun and shot a zombie that was approaching Emma, and Red curled her body over Henry as Archie swung at a zombie Regina recognized as one of the mechanics at the auto shop.

In a move more graceful than her mother could ever hope to accomplish, Emma caught the keys and turned the lock in the Benz. Regina took Henry from Red, and dragged him to the car, where Emma already had the door open for them. After pushing him inside, she circled around Archie, bringing down a zombie while he climbed in after Henry. The feeling of the baseball bat hitting a skull made her sick to her stomach, but she did not give herself time to think about it. She skittered around the car, and dipped into the passenger seat. Emma still had the keys, and it would waste too much time for them to switch now. She tucked the bat between her legs and shut the door.

"Henry, are you okay?" She turned in her seat, giving her son a once over.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Mom."

"Bug?"

"I'm okay." Archie seemed touched that she had asked about his health, and Regina did not like the way he was looking at her.

"I only asked because I don't want you turning into one of those things while you're sitting next to my son," she said.

"Of course." But he smiled in that stupid knowing way that said he did not believe anything she said. Regina turned back around with a huff as Emma slid into the driver's seat, slamming the door behind her. She handed her gun to Regina, who checked to make sure the safety was on before settling it in her lap.

"All right, let's get this show on the road."

"Henry, put your seatbelt on," Regina reminded the boy.

Emma looked at her. "Seriously?"

"You, too Miss Swan. No need to die in a car accident," Regina snipped.

"Fine, whatever." Snapping her seatbelt in place, Emma put the car in drive and peeled out onto the street. Charming followed behind them, and Regina sank into the back of the seat.

"Mom, who's Daniel?"

Regina stiffened. "What?"

"I mean, Gramps told me that he was your fiancé but that's all." Henry leaned forward so that his head was between the front seats. "Cause I heard Gramps and Gandma talking and she said something like 'first Daniel and now Cora.' Is that why you hate her so much?"

"He…I…."

"Hey, kid, maybe now's not the best time," Emma said, eyes on Regina.

"But we're not doing anything-"

"Later, Henry."

Unaccustomed to Emma taking the role of strict parent, Henry fell back against his own seat. Regina swallowed and breathed out slowly through her nose. Only Snow knew what had happened with Daniel, and presumably Charming.

"If you want to talk, Regina-"

"Shut it, Bug," she hissed. Again, Emma placed a hand on her arm, and Regina wondered how it was that this woman, this person who had taken her son from her, could understand her and calm her better than anyone else. She did not like it one bit.

"Okay, we're all a little tense right now," Emma said, "which is totally understandable. So maybe let's stick with safe topics. Like the weather. Beautiful day out, right?"

"Please, Miss Swan, stop before you lower my already dismal opinion of you."

"Always a ray of sunshine, Madame Mayor." Emma just rolled her eyes and shook her head, turning onto Mifflin Street. "Should I park around back?"

"It would probably be safest," Regina agreed, glad to be moving away from such uncomfortable topics. She supposed she should be glad that maybe Henry's world view was becoming less black and white, but her story was really not one she wanted to share with him. Not until he was older, at least. Some things were too much for eleven year old boys. Addressing Emma again, she said, "Be careful."

"No shit."

Regina did not bother correcting her on her language. It was far too late for that. Henry's sheltered life was over. Emma pulled into the back driveway, leaving room for Charming, grabbed the gun from Regina, and hopped out of the car, firing off several rounds. Regina followed, bat raised and ready, and opened the door for Henry, shielding him with her body. She, Emma, and Archie, formed a tight group around the boy, making their way to the back door.

"Archie, you go first. There may be zombies in the house already," Emma instructed. "Regina and I will cover the door until everyone is in." Archie opened the door, and led Henry inside. Regina and Emma stood back to back while Charming, Snow, Granny, and Red filed out of the truck and inside, Granny firing more shots on the way. "Damn, I'm glad she's with us," Emma muttered.

"Same, dear." They shared a tired smile and closed in behind everyone, firmly shutting the door against the few straggling zombies in the back yard.

"Okay, let's clear the house, then Regina can do the spell."

They broke into teams, searching each room until they had the whole house covered. They found two zombies which had crawled in through a broken window in the front. Red and Granny took care of them quickly, and Charming and Emma dragged the bodies outside. When they returned, everyone gathered in the foyer, looking expectantly at Regina.

"Anything we need to do?" Emma asked.

"No. But…I could…use some of your magic," Regina admitted. "To make the spell stronger. I believe white magic will work better against these…things than my own magic."

"Oh, yeah, sure." Hesitantly, Emma put her hand on Regina's arm, just as she had done to get Jefferson's hat to work. Regina reached inside herself, feeling the tingling sensation of Emma's magic coursing through her veins, and enacted the spell. She concentrated on who she was protecting, Henry's face swimming before her eyes. For the first ten years of his life, she had thought she loved him, had loved him as much as her shattered, twisted heart could manage. Then Emma Swan had come to town, and Regina realized that what she felt was nothing close to what she could feel, should feel, for this little boy. Slowly, painfully, her ability to love Henry grew each day, and she knew now that she would do anything for him, anything to keep him safe and happy. She held him in her mind, but another face flashed beside his. Green eyes and shining blond hair. A stupid grin of acceptance and understanding, and that hideous red jacket. Emma.

The magic flared, and Regina could feel the spell pulling from both her and Emma. The hand on her arm tightened, and Emma leaned against her. The spell only took a few seconds to cover the house, and when it was done, Regina let go of the magic. Emma's hand stayed on her arm.

"That's all, Miss Swan," Regina said hoarsely. "You can let go now."

"Oh, right. Sorry." Emma uncurled her fingers slowly, giving Regina's arm one last past before stepping back. "So, uh….."

"Henry, of course, will take his own room," Regina said briskly, falling easily back into the Mayoral persona. "There are two guest bedrooms and the couch in the living room. You can argue amongst yourselves over who gets what. I don't much care. I'll start dinner."

"I'm not trusting you with our food," Charming protested, which caused both Regina and Emma to roll their eyes.

"Seriously, David? If she wanted to kill us, she would have done it by now," Emma said. Regina was about to snap that she did not need Emma to defend her, but there was something nice about having someone stand up for her without wanting anything in return. So she sat back, smirk firmly in place, and let Emma argue with her father. "If we're going to make it through this, we have to trust each other. I know that's like really difficult for all of us because of past transgressions, but let's try to make an effort, okay? Granny, help Regina in the kitchen so David doesn't have to be worried about getting poisoned. Does that work for everyone?"

"Fine," Charming said gruffly.

"Sure," Granny said with a shrug. "Always wanted to see what your kitchen looked like."

"Regina?" Emma's face softened as she turned to the former mayor. Her eyes asked for forgiveness, telling Regina that Emma trusted her and just wanted things to smooth out.

"If she must." Regina turned and led Granny to the kitchen, stopping long enough to give Henry a kiss on the top of his head. To her relief, he did not pull away. "For a group this large," Regina said as she began pulling out pots and utensils, "pasta is about the only thing I have readily available. There's a bag of elbow macaroni in the pantry, if you could get it." Granny did as she was told, and they fell into a rhythm as Regina instructed her on how to make the sauce. The entire process was much less painful than she would have thought, and soon they had a simple meal prepared.

Dinner was a silent affair, with Emma, Henry, and Archie carrying a stilted, awkward conversation about comics. Charming spent the meal nearly force feeding Snow, who was still in a catatonic state, glancing occasionally at Regina only to jerk her gaze away as soon as she met Regina's eyes. Granny asked a few questions about recipes, which Regina answered, but neither of them cared to turn it into a full conversation.

Emma offered to clean up, and Archie volunteered with her, leaving Regina alone with a room full of people who hated her. She held her head high as silence fell over the room.

"The pasta was good," Red finally said.

"Thank you, Miss Lucas." Regina nodded graciously in her direction. "Your grandmother was very helpful. As would be expected from an accomplished cook." Compliments were awkward for Regina, giving them at least, but Granny just raised a brow, and thankfully, Emma returned before the situation could become any more stilted.

"It's getting late and we've all had a really shitty day, so let's pack it in for the night, yeah?" Emma looked around hopefully, and Regina wondered if she was just as uncomfortable and stifled as she was. "David, you and Mary Margaret can take one guest room and Granny and Red can have the other. Archie, do you mind being on the couch?"

"Not at all."

"Awesome. Well, I think we should also take turns taking watch, just in case," she added quickly when Regina opened her mouth to complain that her protection spell was superb and nothing would get through it.

"Fine. I'll take first watch," Regina said, not feeling remotely like turning in for bed with a bunch of her former enemies in the house.

"I'm not trusting-"

"Oh, shut up, David," Emma snapped. "We get it. You don't trust her. You sound like a broken record. I'll stay up and take first watch with her, okay?" Charming gave a tight nod. "Now take Snow upstairs and get settled."

"Third door on the left," Regina told him, pointing up the stairs. "The other guest bedroom is directly across the hall. The study is through that door, Dr. Hopper." Regina waited for them to disperse, holding herself rigidly. Henry hung around until it was us the three of them.

"Mom?" This time he was addressing Regina. "Could you maybe…tuck me in?"

"Of course, sweetheart." She gave him a smile, amazed at how genuine her smiles were these days. She followed him up the stairs. Emma graciously stayed behind, letting Regina have this moment. She read Henry a story and kissed him goodnight. He did not bring up Daniel, and Regina hoped he had forgotten about it. She turned his light off and returned downstairs where Emma had a glass of scotch waiting for her.

"Thought you could use this."

"Well, I certainly won't say no to it." Regina took the glass and sat down on the bottom step. They could have moved to the study, but she was suddenly exhausted. Emma seemed to understand and placed herself next to Regina, their thighs touching. Personal space had never been part of their relationship.

"Sorry about David," Emma said. "He's just worried about Mary Margaret."

"Yes, I'm sure she's having a terrible time getting over using me to murder my own mother."

Emma winced. "When you put it that way….Look, I don't agree at all with what she did. I…I can't even imagine…I'm on your side here."

Regina snorted.

"I mean it. She's my….my mom, so I have to protect her, but Regina, I'm not okay with what she did to you." Emma placed a hand on her knee. "And I…I know I haven't said it yet, but I am sorry I didn't believe you about the Archie thing. I should have trusted you over a dog."

"Where is the dog? I don't think I've ever seen the Cricket away from him."

Emma just swallowed and shook her head. "Archie wouldn't talk about it, but I could guess."

Regina could not explain the wave of sadness that followed the news. Pongo had always been the only creature in Storybrook who was genuinely happy to see her.

"I'm sorry for that."

"Yeah. Anyway, I do trust you. With my life."

"Are you certain I won't try to trip you up and let those creatures have you?"

"Yeah, I actually am." Emma gave her a lopsided smile. "And not just because I know you wouldn't hurt Henry that way."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. You like me."

"Please. You're delusional." Regina took a sip of her drink, acutely aware of the pleasant flutter in her stomach.

"Just keep telling yourself that." Emma knocked her shoulder gently, and Regina thought that maybe she would not mind being stuck with Emma Swan so much. If only she could get through this without killing the other two Charmings.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **hope the interactions between Regina and Emma are in character. i'm trying not to move them too fast because they both have mega trust issues they have to work out.

* * *

"I don't know what you're complaining about," Regina said as she climbed the stairs. "The loveseat in the study is very comfortable."

"Yeah, maybe if you're three feet tall," Emma countered, following Regina closely. "I'm not sleeping there."

"Keep your voice down. Henry is asleep."

"Come on, Regina. Everyone else is sharing a bed."

"And everyone else can just be happy that I'm allowing them to sleep on my Egyptian cotton sheets." Regina opened the door to her bedroom, unable to stop Emma from following her in.

"Please, Regina. That thing will kill my back. I'd bunk with Henry, but his bed is a twin." She widened her eyes, sticking out her bottom lip in a pout.

"You can stop making that face. It's not going to work."

"For fuck's sake, it's a king sized bed! You wouldn't even know I'm there."

Regina rounded on her, voice deathly low. "I will not have my private space invaded." Emma stared at her.

"Okay. Okay." Emma raised her hands in surrender. "Regina, it's no big deal. I'll sleep in the study. But do you….are you okay?"

"Fine."

"I know we're not close or anything, but if you need to-"

"I said I was fine!"

If Regina had thought that would send Emma fleeing, she was sorely disappointed. Emma planted her hands on her hips and raised her brows. "We both know that's a load of shit. I get why you have the whole touch Evil Queen act on for everyone else, but don't forget that I saw you break down over Henry. And I saw you when you thought we were going to lose him. And I met your mother, and I don't know all the pieces, but I can put together what your childhood must have been like. So don't give me that shit about being fine when it's clear that you're not. You don't have to talk to me. But I mean it when I say I'm here to listen. And I can probably relate better than the rest of them."

"You want to know why I don't let anyone in?" Regina said, taking a step forward, calling up her best predatory stance. "You want to know why I don't trust anyone? Ask your mother."

"I know. She told your mother about you and Daniel. And then she killed your mother."

"Oh, but it is so much more than that," Regina said, a cold smile crossing her lips. "Ask her how because of her inability to keep a secret, my entire world was shattered. My life ruined. Every hope I had at happiness and freedom was dashed."

"What are you talking about?" Emma seemed genuinely confused, and Regina realized she had not really thought about what it truly meant to be married to the king.

"Every person in my life, except for Daniel, has used me in some way." She gritted her teeth, and barreled on because, hell, the world was ending and what else did she have to lose? Maybe someone needed to know what had happened to her. "My father used me as a shield. My mother used me to get back at Snow's mother. Rumpelstiltskin used me to enact his curse. Snow used me…used me to replace her mother. And the King….the King…" Her voice faltered, and Emma's eyes widened.

"Oh my God." She brought up a hand to cover her mouth and took a step towards Regina. "Oh God. How-how old were you?"

"Eighteen."

"Did he-Does Mary Margaret know?"

"Does she know that her father forced himself on me? Does she know that he would stumble into my bedchambers drunk after a feast or party and do what he wanted with me? Does she know that when he finished, it was the name of his dead wife he called out?" Regina looked away, realizing how much she had shared. "No. She doesn't know. I made her believe that I loved her father."

"Why would you do that," Emma asked quietly. "You didn't owe her anything."

"Contrary to what you've heard, I'm not completely heartless." Regina wrapped her arms around herself. It was a habit she had picked up along the way, a reaction to situation that reminded her of just how much she had lost in her life. "I felt the misguided need to protect her feelings. That was a mistake, and I gained nothing from it."

"You got Henry."

"What?"

"Every shitty thing that happened to you led you to making the curse." Emma nibbled on her bottom lip, brows furrowed. "And because of the curse, I came here. And because I came here, I met Neal. And because of that, I had Henry. And because I had to break the curse, Neal sent me to prison. And you got Henry."

"And you took him away again."

Emma shrugged. "And here we are. Look, I get the bed thing now. I'll sleep in the study, no big deal. And if you want, I'll just pretend you didn't spill your guts to me because I can see that you're regretting it. I'll go, and I'll get Granny and Ruby up to take next watch." Regina nodded, not trusting her traitorous mouth. Emma gave her tight smile and left.

When she was alone, Regina methodically changed into more comfortable clothes. The protection spell was as strong as ever, and she saw no reason to be uncomfortable while she tried to sleep. She slipped into bed, but she knew as soon as she closed her eyes that sleep would not come easily. She tossed and turned and eventually she threw back the covers and marched downstairs passed a bewildered Red and into the study where Emma was curled up on the loveseat.

"Miss Swan."

Emma looked up at her, eyes bleary with sleep. "Yeah?"

Regina jerked her chin towards the stairs. "Come on. You'll kill your back that way, and then what good would you be?" Not waiting to see if Emma followed, Regina made her way back up to the bedroom. Emma entered just a minute later.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay." Emma closed the door quietly behind her and stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. Regina could see that she had taken off her boots at some point. "Um…I…is it okay to be wearing this?" She indicated her jeans and tank top. "They're kind of dirty, and I know how anal you can be."

Regina ignored the slight jibe and walked over to her dresser. She pulled out a pair of pajamas and tossed them to Emma. "Bathroom's in there."

While Emma was changing, Regina slipped into bed, pressing her body as close to the edge as she could. She pretended to be asleep when the other side dipped down, and the lights turned out.

"I know you're awake," Emma said softly. Regina grunted in response. "Thanks for letting me sleep in here. Good night." Regina settled herself better against the pillows and drifted off.

When she woke, there was a warm presence at her back and an arm thrown over her stomach. For a moment, she felt happy and safe. Until she remembered who it was in her bed. Wanting to avoid a no doubt awkward conversation, Regina carefully slid herself away from Emma.

"Nnnno come on, five more minutes," Emma groaned, flopping onto her stomach.

"I'm going to get dressed, Miss Swan," Regina said, noting with amusement that Emma jumped at the sound of her voice. "You may dress in here, or if you want to freshen up, you can have the bathroom after me."

"Uh…" Emma frowned and then lifted one arm, ducking her head to sniff at her arm pit.

"Oh for heaven's sake," Regina scoffed. "If you even have to check." Regina shook her head and turned back to the bathroom. "You can use it when I'm done." She glanced over her shoulder to see Emma flop back onto the pillows, and for some reason it brought a small smile to her face.

After she finished, she pulled on her robe and returned to the bedroom, giving Emma a slight smack on the arm.

"All right. Time to get up."

"Noooooooo," Emma protested and buried her face in the pillows.

"Yes. Get up and get dressed. Today we have to figure out what to do next, and for some reason, those people look to you for leadership."

Emma glanced up at her, and Regina was struck by the lost, helplessness in her eyes. "But I don't know what to do. I'm not…." She let out a frustrated sigh and sat up. "They think that because I'm supposed the be the Savior, that I can save them. They think I have all the answers. And I just…Maybe that's why I prefer your company, even though I'm pretty sure that at least half of you hates me. You just see me as Emma. I miss the days when everyone else did, too."

Regina tilted her head, for once having no witty comeback at the tip of her tongue. She realized that she was Emma Swan's safe place. The person who she said things to, things she could not say to the people who most needed to hear them. How had that happened? How had she become important to Emma? Certainly, they had moments where they were civil, but most of the time they were at each other's throats. And yet Emma trusted her more than she did her parents or Ruby. Regina had never had a safe place since Daniel died, and she could not find it in her to push Emma away. She knew what it was like to have no one, or to think she had someone only to find out she was wrong.

"People from our land have very…structured views on things," she said softly. "I know that I am guilty of it myself. They give you a role to play, and you have no choice but to be what they expect you to be. You were lucky to grow up in this world. Where you had options."

"Lucky?" Emma snorted, and Regina thought it would turn into an argument about cursing people to live without parent, in the foster care system, and she braced herself, ready to defend her action. Instead, Emma sighed. "Maybe you're right. I used to think that I would give anything to have parents, and now that I do….I don't know. Part of me is glad I didn't have them. I wouldn't be the person I am, and I kind of like me."

"Well, apart from Henry, you are the least insufferable member of the Charming family," Regina conceded, which earned her a small smile from Emma. "Now go get ready. I'm sure that you father is probably wondering if I've murdered you or not." Emma rolled her eyes and stumbled to the bathroom. Once the door was firmly shut, Regina dressed in her most rugged clothes, which consisted of designer jeans and a cotton shirt she had never worn. She heard the shower turn on and crept into the hallway.

She nearly ran into Red.

"Oh, sorry!" the werewolf squeaked, out of surprise, not fear, Regina noted. Red had never been frightened of the Evil Queen. Regina liked that, not that she would ever admit it.

"It's fine, Miss Lucas." Regina stepped back and held her arm out. "After you." With a nod, Red started down the stairs.

"So, you and Emma?" She turned to face Regina, brows raised suggestively.

"I don't know what you're insinuating, Miss Lucas," Regina said, voice growing cold. "Miss Swan and I simply shared a bed for the night, as happens in situations like this. If you'll kindly get your mind out of the gutter."

"Okay. If you say so."

Luckily, Regina was spared from having to answer by voices coming from the kitchen.

"You have to twist it that way," Henry was saying.

"Shh, I think I hear something." Archie's voice answered him. Regina frowned as she heard the crackling sound of a radio.

"_All citizens should stay inside until the crisis is over. It is not safe outside. Wait in your homes for the authorities. Stay away from windows. Stay inside_." The message then repeated again and again and again.

"What's that," Red asked as they entered the kitchen to see Archie and Henry bent over an old radio that Regina had kept in the basement. Granny stood over the stove, cooking bacon.

Archie and Henry looked up at them. "It's the only station that works," Henry said.

"It sounds like an automated message," Archie added. "The signal's weak. From outside Storybrook."

"What does that mean?" Regina asked.

"It means that this is outside. It's everywhere," Henry said, his eyes wide and scared. "The TV stations are all just static." Regina sat down at next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He did not pull away.

"Then there's no reason to try and leave Storybrook," she realized. "We're safer here. Away from populated areas. And magic works here still. That gives us an advantage." Granny set a plate of bacon and eggs in front of her, and Regina noted that the eggs were exactly how she liked them. Granny must have been paying attention all those years to what she ordered.

"I have to agree," the older woman said, turning back to the stove. "We know the town and the woods around us. And the magic. That's going to be really important now." The sounds of footsteps on the stairs, and they all looked up as Charming and Snow walked in. "Breakfast?" Granny asked. "Made it myself."

"Yeah, sure thing." Charming sat Snow down and got two plates from Granny.

"Morning, everyone," Snow said quietly. It was the first thing Regina had heard her say since she had showed up on her doorstep begging for Regina to kill her.

"Morning, Gandma!" Henry chimed. He offered Snow a bright smile, which she returned weakly. Granny set a plate down for her and one for Charming. Regina noted that Snow did not need coaxing this time around to eat. While she did not look forward to a more involved Snow, she could not deny that the younger woman's skills would be an asset to them. She may have hated Snow, but she knew that Snow was an accomplished markswoman and feared little.

While they ate, Archie and Henry filled Snow and Charming in on the situation, only pausing when Emma came down, dressed in clean clothes, hair still wet from the shower.

"Smells freaking delicious," she said by way of greeting. "I'm starving."

"You had two extra helpings of pasta last night," Regina reminded her.

"Hey, killing zombies is hard work." She patted her flat stomach. "Hit me up!" She took the chair next to Regina, their arms brushing as she sat.

"We've come up with something of a loose plan," Regina informed her. "Instead of trying to find a way to leave, we're going to stay in Storybrook and try to figure out a way to make the town safe."

"Oh. That sounds good, actually." Emma gave her a smile, a real on full of gratitude. That was one decision off of her shoulders, and Regina was somehow glad that she could do that for Emma. She chose not to think too hard about why. Maybe Emma Swan was _her_ safe place despite everything they had put each other through. "I think, though, that we should send a team into town for supplies and more weapons, if we can find them. And the ones who stay here need to figure out a way to start securing the yard. We don't want to have to rely completely on Regina's spell."

"It will hold as long as it needs to," Regina said, bristling slightly. She would not tell any of them that the longer it was up, the more it pulled on her energy. However, based on the look she was receiving, she was fairly certain that Emma had figured it out.

"I know, but it's better to clear and secure the yard anyway, right?" Emma gave a shrug that said it was not a big deal, protecting Regina's pride.

"I suppose so."

"Sweet. So yeah, I think that me and Regina should go into town-"

"What? No, absolutely not!" Charming snapped. "I'm coming with you."

"David, please." Regina wondered how many more times Emma could roll her eyes before she caused herself permanent damage. "You need to stay here and oversee cleaning out the yard. Regina and I are going into town because we can use magic and you can't. And if she wanted to hurt me, she would have done it last night when I was asleep next to her."

Snow's face paled, and she choked on her eggs, which was enough to bring a smirk to Regina's lips. Nothing pleased her more than causing Snow White pain and distress.

"I wondered why you weren't in the study," Archie said contemplatively. He looked at Regina curiously, something akin to approval, she thought.

"Yeah, the loveseat is hella uncomfortable, and Regina finally gave into my whining." Emma grinned further at Snow's horrified expression. Henry, thankfully, missed his grandmother's reaction.

"I'm glad you two are getting along," he said, looking between his two mothers.

"Well nothing like the zombie apocalypse to bring people together." Emma gave Regina's shoulder a nudge, which earned her a glare. She was not deterred. It seemed that a hot shower had been just what Emma needed to get her back into the spirit of things. Or maybe it was having the knowledge that Regina would be an open ear for her when things got overwhelming. Whatever the reason, Emma's earlier mood was gone.

"Charming," Regina said, "there are tools in the basement and in the shed that may help you clearing out the yard. Everyone make lists of what you need from in town, and Emma and I can try and get them." Regina retrieved pens and paper from her study, and everyone made their lists.

"Henry, are your walkies still here?" Emma asked.

"Yeah!" The boy ran upstairs to get them, giving one to Emma and keeping the other.

"All right. If we're not back in….three hours, you can get worried." Emma shrugged on her coat and pocketed the walkie. "Call us if you need anything, but try not to. The sound attracts them, and we want to conserve batteries." They said their goodbyes, with Emma getting hugs from her parents, Henry, and Ruby, and with Regina getting one of her own from Henry. He whispered a quick 'be careful' in her ear, and Regina held him tighter.

"I love you," she said, dreading the awkward silence that would come when he did not say it back.

Henry pulled away and looked up into her face. "I love you, too, Mom." Regina's dignity was saved when Emma made a big deal about showing Charming how to work the walkie-talkies, taking everyone's attention away from the former Evil Queen who was wiping her eyes.

"Well, Miss Swan, let's get to it."


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **to Spikesagitta, as we have seen in the show, since Emma broke the curse, the barrier now lets people in, as with Owen and Tamara. So that's how the virus was able to get in.

this chapter is gorier than the others

* * *

David's truck thundered down the street, attracting zombies as it went. Emma had insisted that they take it, as it had more space for supplies than her bug or Regina's Benz.

"I told you this was a bad idea," Regina growled, her anxiety growing as she looked out the window at their growing following.

"Yeah well, I seem to be full of those," Emma snapped right back. "So sue me. I wanted to pick up a mattress for Archie so he doesn't have to sleep on the couch forever, and this is the only car that it would fit in. I didn't realize how loud it would be. I'm sorry."

Sighing, Regina turned to face Emma. "What's done is done, I suppose. I can shield us if I need to."

"Okay, but be honest with me, Regina. How long can you keep up the protection spell on the house?" Emma kept her eyes on the road, but her chin was inclined towards Regina. "Don't bother lying. I know it takes a lot out of you."

"A week, probably," Regina admitted. She knew that Emma would not see it as a weakness. "If…if I borrow from you, maybe more?"

"Sure thing. But we still have to figure out how to protect ourselves without it." Emma nibbled on her bottom lip in thought. "Maybe instead of using a constant pull on your magic to make a protection spell, you could conjure up a fence or wall or something that would only need your magic to create it, not sustain it."

"That's actually not a terrible idea."

"Why are you so surprised that I can have good ideas?" Then Emma grinned and shook her head. "No never mind. Don't answer that. I think I can guess." She guided the car past Gold's shop, which looked as though it was untouched. It must have had a new protection spell in place, one that drew upon the powers of the Dark One. It would last longer than anything Regina could conjure.

"Where is Gold," she asked. "And Henry's….." She swallowed against the bitter taste in her mouth. Another biological parent for her to compete with. Neal, or Baelfire, coming into the picture had been everything Regina had feared from the moment Emma Swan showed up on her doorstep. With him and Emma, Henry would have the perfect little family he was so sure he was supposed to have. The kind found in his book of fairy tales.

"He and Neal took off a few days ago back to New York with Belle and Tamara." The last name was unfamiliar to Regina, and it must have showed on her face. "Tamara is Neal's fiancé."

"Oh. I suppose I had thought that the two of you…." She did not know why the prospect of Emma and Neal together agitated her in such a way. It went deeper than her fear that they would keep Henry from her.

"Me and Neal?" Emma snorted. "No. Like hell I would go back to the guy who dumped me pregnant in jail. Plus, he's kind of an ass. Thank God Henry grew up with you." The comment was so off-handed that Regina just had to stare at Emma. The other woman could not have known how much those words meant to her. "You're a good mom, Regina. Maybe a little intense, but you gave Henry the life I wanted for him." She sighed, and Regina looked steadfastly out the window. "I never meant for it to turn out like it did. I swear to you, I never meant to take him when I got here. I just…I wanted to know he was okay and happy. Things just…got out of hand."

"The irony of it all," Regina said, "is that if I hadn't reacted so strongly to you, you would have gone right back to Boston." It was a truth that had haunted Regina for months. Her own mistakes had brought this on her.

"Yeah, probably."

Six months earlier, or even three days earlier, it would have turned into a massive fight that ended in them shouting at each other and Regina probably trying to kill someone. But now, they both let the subject drop. It seemed inconsequential. Henry was at home again, and the world was crashing down around them.

She leaned her head back against the headrest and watched the shops pass by. "The hardware store should be our first stop."

"You got the lists?"

"Yes. We also need to go by the grocery store." Regina leafed through the lists they had written that morning, stopping and frowning as she read. "Henry wants Hohos and Twinkies," she said with distaste. "He has been spending far too much time in your company."

When she received no answer, Regina glanced over at Emma, who wore a sheepish smile and blush. "Um…that's my list."

"Oh." Regina reviewed it again. "Your handwriting is remarkably similar. I see where he gets it from now."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I know it's really shitty." Emma's grin grew, and Regina rolled her eyes. "So can we get the Twinkies since they're not for Henry?"

"Last time I checked, Miss Swan, you were a grown woman and could make your own, poor, decisions about your health."

"Awesome." Emma pulled the truck over in front of the hardware store, killing the engine, and turning to face Regina. "Okay, guns as a last resort. The sound will attract more of them. Go for the head. You have to kill their brains to stop them." Regina knew all of this, since Henry had given her the exact same lecture before they left, but she knew Emma needed to go through it again for her own sake. "Magic also as a last resort, but like, don't hesitate if it looks like we're going to get swarmed. I'll go first. Cover my back, and then when we get inside, you lead the way because I have no idea where half this stuff is in here."

"And you think I do? Do I look like I frequent the hardware store?"

"Well….no. No you don't. Shit. Maybe we should have let David come along." Emma glanced outside to see zombies heading towards them. "Crap. No time for regrets. Let's go." She hopped out of the car, the machete Regina had conjured for her raised at the ready. As the door shut, Regina climbed out of her side, bat clutched tightly. She had never been one to fight physically. She always used her wits or magic or her power to get what she wanted. But there was no manipulating a zombie into getting it to do what she wanted. There would be no more power plays or battles of wits.

In front of her, Emma took a swing at a zombie whose face was already unrecognizable. Regina thought that was good. As much as she hated nearly everyone in Storybrook, it would be easier to take out the zombies if she did not know who they used to be. She followed Emma to the door, taking down two zombies as she went. Emma pushed the door open and barreled inside, holding it for Regina.

"Quick, lock it!"

Regina turned the lock and sent a silent prayer to whoever was listening that the door held until they were done. Emma was already scanning the rows of tools, looking for the things on their list. Over her arm, Emma had a basket hung, and she was pushing boxes of nails, coils of rope, various other things that could be used in protecting the house. Then she started grabbing piping, washers, and even a faucet before Regina realized that she was just picking up everything she could get her hands on.

"I think that's enough, Miss Swan."

"What?" Emma looked down at the basket. "Oh. Right. Whoops." She put the faucet back and gave Regina a shrug. "Okay time to get back to the car, right?"

"While you succeeded in getting everything I would need to replace my kitchen sink, you have failed to acquire hammers, or tools of any kind. Or-"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it." Emma shot her a glare. "You gonna help, or what?" Regina picked up another basket and carefully went down the rows, meticulously going through the list Emma had so carelessly ignored. She was so engrossed in her task that she did not realize that there was a zombie at the end of her row until it made a gurgling groaning noise. Horrified, she looked up, scrambling for her bat, but it was tucked under the arm carrying the basket. Never before in her life had her mind blanked on a spell to use to save her, but in the face of a six foot tall undead monster who wore the face of a man she had known for over three decades, Regina could not get her magic to do as she wanted.

"Regina!"

Before Regina could react, Emma had driven her machete into the zombie's head, spraying them both with blood and other things Regina chose not to think about. The zombie fell, and Emma turned her wide eyes to Regina.

"Are you okay? Did he get you? Jesus, Regina." She took Regina's face between her hands and studied her frantically. "Why didn't you use magic?"

"I…"

"Shit, holy shit." Emma leaned their foreheads together, and for a moment, Regina thought she was going to kiss her. But Emma just pulled her into a hug instead. "Goddammit, Regina."

"I froze." She said it in wonderment, for it was not something that happened to her. "I couldn't remember even one spell. I just…" It was only as her head cleared that she realized Emma was still holding her. She stiffened in the embrace and pushed away. "Thank you. For saving me."

"I told you I would keep saving you," Emma said with a frazzled smile. "Are you okay, though?"

"I believe so, yes." Regina swallowed as her heart rate slowed back to normal. "We should continue." She extracted herself from Emma and picked up the basket and bat she had dropped. Her hands were shaking.

"Let me go first, okay," Emma suggested as the approached the door.

"I'm fine, Miss Swan."

"Sure, but just let me go first."

Regina had a distinct feeling that Emma was coddling her, but no one had ever put her first after Daniel. She found that she did not mind it as much as she thought she would. Emma wanted nothing in return, wanted nothing from Regina. She did it because she….because she was a good person. So Regina let Emma lead their way into swarm that had accumulated while they were inside. And she let Emma shield her from attack. And she even let Emma open the door of the truck for her.

They were both quiet until Regina realized they were not heading towards the grocery store. "Are you lost, Miss Swan? Surely even you are capable of navigating through-"

"We're going to Archie's first," Emma interrupted. "Getting his mattress and some other things for him. It'll take a bit more time. We should hit the grocery store last."

"Fine."

"Regina?"

"Yes?"

"You really scared me, okay?" Emma looked at her seriously. "I think in another world we could have been friends. Or…maybe it's not too late to be friends in this one?"

"Haven't you heard, Miss Swan? I don't have friends."

"That's only because you put up mile high walls." Emma shrugged. "I get it. I have my own. We've both got serious baggage, so I won't push you or anything. We can just be drinking buddies or whatever. Someone to hold your hair when you puke."

"You make it sound so appealing," Regina deadpanned. "However can I resist?"

"Ha ha." The car turned onto Archie's street, and Emma parked in front of the diner. "Okay let's get the mattress and then we can head to the store. Sound good?"

"That's fine." They exited the car, Emma again taking the lead. She took down a zombie, looking over her shoulder to see if Regina was following. Recovered from the scare in the hardware store, Regina followed Emma without hesitation, unflinching as she swung her bat and made contact with a rotting skull. Brain fluid and blood splattered her already ruined shirt and coat. She wondered if she would be able to get out the stains.

"Regina, hurry up!" Emma was holding the door open, and Regina flicked the end of her bat to dislodge the muck that clung to it before going in. It was quiet inside, and Emma locked the door behind them. Regina took the lead up the stairs, having more familiarity with Archie's building. She was walking past his study, when a hurtling bulk knocked her over. She hit the wall with a loud grunt, arms raised and about to freeze whatever it was that was attacking her. Then she felt something wet on her cheek and looked up.

"Pongo?" The dog was wagging his tail so hard that his entire body shook from the force of it. Her hands came up to pet him, and some she had wrapped her arms entirely around his neck. He continued to press himself against her, whining and licking her face. "It's okay, boy, it's okay. Good boy, what a good boy." She spoke in soothing words trying to calm the dog.

"Regina? Are you okay?" Emma's voice was frantic as she raced up the stairs to where Regina was still sitting on the floor. "Pongo?" The dog turned to look at her but did not leave Regina. "Oh, I see how it is. Did you sneak him snacks or something when you came for your sessions? That dog loves you."

"Archie will be pleased. I thought you said he was…."

"What I said was that Archie refused to talk about it." Emma shrugged, reaching down to pet Pongo. "We'll have to ask him what happened. Is he free of bites?"

"As far as I can tell."

"Well this complicates things."

"We're not leaving him," Regina said, voice low and threatening.

"I wasn't suggesting we do," Emma assured her gently. "I just meant it's going to be a little harder to finish our errands with a dog."

"He can stay in the car." Regina pushed herself up, Pongo pressed against her legs. He did not seem at all willing to part from her. "He listens to me."

"Yeah, I can believe that." Moving on, Emma walked past Regina and into the bedroom. "Okay. I think here is the one time where we're just going to use magic because that's the best way to do this," she said as she stuffed some of Archie's clothes in a bag. He had not been able to grab much stuff in his initial flight.

"We?"

"Well, I mean…." Emma turned back to her. "You obviously will be the one like directing it or whatever, but I was going to let you use my magic to do it."

"I suppose that would be the least disastrous course of action. Pongo, stay." Regina held up her hand to the dog, and he sat on his haunches, content to watch them work. She instructed Emma to strip the bed of linens, since they would just get in the way and she had plenty of spare ones at home. Once that was done, Regina took Emma's free hand, trying not to think about how warm it felt in her own, and called to the white magic crackling at their connection. The spell was so very easy to cast, and she marveled at the strength of Emma's magic. A perk of being the product of true love. It took a great amount of will power to keep the disgust from her face. When she had the mattress and the box spring lifted, she nodded to Emma. "Let's got. Pongo, come."

With the floating mattress in front of them, it was hard to see, so Regina kept her ears heightened. Pongo's growl, alerted her to the danger at the bottom of the staircase.

"Emma!" Regina pressed herself to the wall of the stairwell, taking on the full burden of the mattress as Emma let go of her hand and sprinted down the stairs to cleave a zombie's head from its neck. Pongo let out two barks before Regina told him to hush. He obeyed her immediately. "Is it clear, Miss Swan?"

"Yeah, come on down."

Emma was waiting for them, and took Regina's hand again when they were close enough. "Maybe we should like back out or something. I go first, and then you follow, and then the mattress last. So that we can see where we're going."

"Let go of my hand. You'll need both of yours to fight."

"Regina-"

"Please, Miss Swan. If you think that this tiny bit of magic is enough to tire me, then I am deeply insulted." She pulled her hand away from Emma's. "You go first. We'll be right behind you."

Not looking satisfied, Emma nodded and opened the door, already swinging. Regina reflected that she seemed born to do this. Maybe this was what being the Savior was all about, though she knew Emma would hate to hear that. Quickly as she could, Regina guided the mattress and box spring to the truck, setting them down on top. To her left, Emma was pulling her machete from the chest of a zombie and did not see the one approaching from behind.

"Emma! Look out." Regina could tell that Emma would not be able to pull her weapon free in time. With a flick of her wrist, Regina conjured an arrow and flung it with deadly precision right between the monster's eyes.

For a second neither of them moved, then Emma yanked out the machete. "Guess we're even now."

"We don't have time to get out the rope and tie this conventionally," Regina informed her, ignoring the fact that she had not been thinking about Henry at all when she saved Emma. She had only been thinking about how terrifying the prospect of Emma dying was. "I'll have to use magic." Emma offered her hand without being asked. Hurrying as she saw more living dead shuffling their way, Regina secured their cargo to the top of the truck and then opened the door. "Pongo, in." She pointed, and the dog hopped into the passenger seat before climbing into the back.

"How do you do that?" Emma watched with wonder. "He never listens to me."

"You have to be firm. Like this: Miss Swan, get in." To her amusement, Emma did as she was told, sliding into the driver's seat as Regina slid into her own side.

"I just did that to appease you."

"I didn't know you knew such big words, Miss Swan," Regina quipped. "Seems spending so much time with an eleven year old and a goat herder has done wonders for your vocabulary."

"Deflect all you want." Grinning, Emma put the car in gear and headed to the grocery. Surprisingly, it was the least eventful stop thus far, with no zombies inside to threaten them. As Regina bagged up vegetables and fruit, Emma stuffed her basket with chips and junk food. And more than a few Hohos, much to Regina's….amusement? She shook her head. No, she was most certainly not amused by Emma Swan's atrocious eating habits. She was disgusted by them. The stress of the last couple of days was getting to her. That was all. She did not find Emma amusing. Or attractive. Not at all. Not one bit.

And she was certainly not amused when Emma made a big show of digging through her wallet for a couple of twenties which she slapped down on the counter.

"You can put the rest on my tab," she called back to the empty store, ignoring Regina's eye-roll.

The last stop was the apartment Emma and Henry had been sharing with Snow and Charming. Emma needed to get a few things, though most of Henry's clothes were still in his room at Regina's. The former Evil Queen sat on the couch while Emma threw what little she owned into a duffle bag, trying not to sneer at the disgustingly pastel decor. Of all the ways she had made Mary Margaret different from Snow White, the woman still managed to be revoltingly irritating in everything she did or touched. Thank the heavens her daughter had turned out differently.

"Right, okay. Let's go." Emma took one last look around the place, something akin to loss crossing her face. "Your place is nicer anyway. And I won't be in danger of walking in on my parents fucking."

Closing her eyes and baring her teeth, Regina held up her hand. "That, Miss Swan, is a visual I could have happily gone my entire life without."

"Just sharing the joy," Emma replied with a wicked grin.

"And they say I'm the evil one." She shook her head and marched down to the car, not waiting for Emma. The younger woman followed quickly, the stupid grin still on her face when she hopped in behind the wheel.

"You know, you're not half bad when you're not trying to kill me." Emma kept her eyes on the road, and Regina could sense her nervousness.

"Then I shall have to work harder on repelling you."

"I'm serious, Regina." And her tone backed that claim up. "I'm glad it was you with me today and not David. He's…he's so…."

"Chivalrous? Idiotic? Boring?"

"Boring. That's the one." Sighing, Emma turned onto Regina's street. "He and Mar—Snow are trying but…I'm almost thirty. I don't need parents anymore. And I don't need their fairy tale bullshit. You don't buy into all that crap."

"Only because I was taught otherwise by the circumstances of my life," Regina told her. "Had I had the life Snow led, things might have been different."

"Somehow, I don't think you would be like her."

Regina stiffened in defense. "Not all of us can have the luxury-"

"Whoa, hold on there. I meant it as a compliment." The corners of Emma's mouth turned up. "I meant that you would have been able to see what a shitty life your step mother was living, and you would have done something about it. I meant that you wouldn't be oblivious to other people's pain. I meant it as a good thing."

"Oh." For once, Regina had nothing else to say, so she turned her face to the window. When they pulled in behind her house, she hopped out, letting Pongo out and gathering bags. Henry ran out to meet them, pulling Pongo up in a hug.

"Pongo?" She looked up and saw Archie standing in the doorway, disbelief on his face. Pongo launched himself at his owner, and sent them both toppling. "I thought I'd lost you! Where did you find him?"

"He was in your building," Emma explained.

"We got separated by a horde," Archie explained with some difficulty seeing as Pongo kept licking his face. "Pongo…I thought that he was….I couldn't see him anymore, and I had to go. I had to…."

"Hey, it's okay, Archie," Emma said soothingly. "He's okay. We checked him for bites. He's fine. Plus, we got you a bed!"

The rest of the group came out to help bring in supplies while Emma and Regina combined their magic to create a high stone wall that encircled Regina's property, fully equipped with an alarm system that would let them know if it was breached. Spent from the day's activities and the amount of magic she had used, Regina ate a quick supper and went straight to bed while everyone else stayed up talking. Somewhere around one in the morning, Emma slid into bed next to her.

Regina pretended not to notice the arm that snuck around her middle and pulled her close.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN**: this is somewhat of a filler chapter, but i was fighting some major writer's block for a lot of it. The next chapter should be better. updates are going to be slower now because i'm back at work. be patient with me!

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Regina and Henry sat outside watching Pongo run as the others argued in the kitchen. She found herself weary of the yelling, and someone had to watch Henry. He did not need to hear the adults coming apart at the seams. Emma argued with her parents over the prospect of searching the town and the surrounding woods for survivors. Their voices drifted back through the open door.

"We have a responsibility," Snow was saying, and Regina's mouth twisted in a grimace. Always so noble.

"And I'm not denying that. I don't want anyone to get left behind if I can help it, but we have to be realistic." Emma's voice dropped, and Regina could no longer understand what she was saying. Beside her, Henry was nibbling on his lower lip, something that made him look so very much like his birth mother. Regina found that it no longer bothered her as it once did.

"They didn't want me in there because they're talking about how everyone's dead," he said suddenly, startling Regina. She contemplated lying to him, soothing his worry and pain, but lying to Henry had never gotten her anything good. Besides, what use was it to shield him now?

"Yes."

"Are…does this mean that Ava and Nicolas are dead? And…Paige?"

"I don't know."

"We haven't seen anyone else in a couple of days." Henry's brows furrowed, and he picked up a rock from the ground, turning it over in his hands. "I'm not stupid. I know what that means."

"I think that Emma and your grandparents," the words still stuck in her throat, "are trying to protect you."

"Adults always say that when they don't want to explain something that's too hard for them to figure out how to say."

The truth of his words struck her, and she found that she could not deny it. "Sometimes, if we say it out loud, it makes it real." She watched Pongo race back and forth at the base of the wall she had erected with Emma's help. It was holding well, and Regina was starting to allow herself to relax within the circle of its safety. "And I don't think Snow and Charming are ready for that yet."

"All the dwarves, and the fairies, and all my classmates…." Henry threw the rock. It bounced along the yard, coming to a stop before it hit the wall. Regina took a deep breath and stared up at the sky. It was the clearest blue she had seen in a long time.

"When I was sixteen, my mother hired a new stable boy," she began, knowing she had Henry's full attention. "He was kind, and…and handsome." She gave him a small smile and he made a face that clearly said his mother did not need to share her thoughts about men with him. "He took up my riding lessons, and we grew to be friends. He was only a couple of years older than me."

"Daniel."

"Yes." She paused before continuing, blocking out the voices in the kitchen that were growing louder again. It seemed as though Snow wanted to try and find the fairies. Regina would have to warn Emma that she might not be able to stop herself from killing the Blue Fairy if they came face to face. "When I was seventeen, he kissed me for the first time, and…well, I fell in love. We continued in secret, for my mother could never know. She…She wanted me to be queen, to move up in the world. She was born a miller's daughter and she wanted better for me." Regina took a moment to gather herself, and Henry stayed quiet, giving her the time.

"Shortly after I turned eighteen, I saved Snow from a runaway horse. The king then proposed to me, and my mother accepted."

"Just like that? Without even asking you?"

Regina smiled sadly. "What I wanted didn't matter. I planned to run away with Daniel, to try and start a new life, but Snow caught us. I explained to her how I didn't love her father, and how I was in love with Daniel. I explained that true love was the greatest magic there is. That it could conquer anything." Regina swallowed hard, her eyes pricking. "She promised to keep the secret, but she failed. I…I know that the blame lies on my mother. She can—could be so manipulative. She came to the stables to stop us from leaving and she…"

"She killed Daniel."

"Yes. Right there in front of me." Regina finally looked over at her son, shocked to see tears on his face. "I let that pain consume me, turn me into….into the Evil Queen. You can't let that happen to you. All the pain and the sadness that you feel, it's natural. But you have to learn how to deal with it, move past it."

"Everything was supposed to be better with Emma here," Henry said, looking lost, and it broke Regina's heart that she could not protect him from this.

"Sweetheart, Emma is only human. And this is something that even the Savior can't completely fix." She placed her hand on his knee, and he sighed dejectedly. "Sometimes the world doesn't work how we want it to." Perhaps it was partially her fault that Henry had such high, unrealistic expectations for life. She had always given him more than enough, more than what he needed. "Emma is doing her best. I know that coming from me, it doesn't mean much to say trust her." Regina leaned her elbows against her knees. "I don't know how to trust other people, but I don't want you to feel like you can't trust Emma. It…I never had an example of a good parent, Henry. I…I'm sorry for not being a better one for you."

"Emma can't cook," he said, which momentarily confused Regina. "She's really really bad at it. And she doesn't do the laundry right. And sometimes she forgets that I shouldn't stay up until eleven. Or that it's not okay for me to watch PG-13 movies yet. You never forget that kind of stuff. You're a good mom."

"He's right." Regina turned to see Emma leaning against the door.

"How long have you been there?"

"Long enough." She hopped down the steps and sat next to Regina. "Although, I'll have you know that I can make tacos, okay. I'm not completely hopeless." She gave them a grin, and Regina relaxed again.

"Tacos? Oh, in that case, forgive me. I have misjudged you so horribly," Regina snipped.

Emma just smiled. "Hey, Henry, Granny's made lunch inside. Why don't you go help set the table?" She gave him a nudge, and he reluctantly left the two of them alone.

"So what did they decide," Regina asked, noticing how Emma's face fell as soon as Henry was gone.

"Snow insists that we at least go check and see if the fairies are at the nunnery." She let out a long sigh. "And she wants you to go-"

"Absolutely not. I will not."

"Look, Regina, I know you hate Snow, and I-"

"It has nothing to do with Snow White," Regina growled, surprising Emma. "I will not lift a finger to aid the Blue Fairy."

"Okay. Then teach me some spells that I can use to protect us," Emma insisted. "If you're not going, then I have to know how to protect them instead."

Regina's fists clenched against her knees, and she let out a long, shaking breath. "We don't have enough time. You have immense strength, but no discipline. Without someone there to guide you, there is a high likelihood that you will incorrectly cast the spell, with disastrous consequences."

"Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence," Emma grumbled.

"I'm simply informing you of the truth."

"Then what do you suggest I do, Your Majesty?"

"Don't call me that," Regina snapped, edging away from Emma, angry and upset and not sure why.

"Hey, Regina, I'm sorry. I didn't know it bothered you." The former sheriff dipped her head down so that she could look Regina in the eyes. "But I'm serious. Snow's going to go with or without magical help. It's like she thinks she has something to prove because she was so checked out after….well. The thing." With Cora, she meant, but neither of them wanted to go there. "I know how you feel about her, and like, I wouldn't ask, but…she's my mom, and I kind of don't want her to get eaten by zombies."

They sat in silence while Regina struggled with herself. She knew Emma was right. Snow and Charming would be idiots like always and go off to find the fairies, who may or may not even still be live, and they would do it with or without magical protection. Normally, she would not care at all that they were stupidly risking their lives, but now…now they were important to people who were important to Regina. Her brows furrowed. People? No, she meant person. One person. They were important to Henry. That was all she cared about. She certainly did not care that Emma Swan cared about them. That had nothing to do with her decision. It had no impact on her, and it was not the reason she found herself nodding her head and answering Emma.

"Fine. I'll go. But not for them."

"Okay."

"And not for you, either."

"Okay."

"As long as you understand that." Regina squared her shoulders and blew out a short breath through her nose.

"If you're not doing it for me or Snow, then who are you doing it for?" Emma's hand rested on Regina's knee, and she gave a gentle squeeze. "I know you hate her."

"I told Henry that he can't let his pain and anger consume him." Regina swallowed and hesitated a moment before placing her own hand over Emma's. "I suppose it would be best if I gave him an example to go by. And…maybe it would be….better for me if…if I tried to move on. Healthier."

Instead of answering, Emma snaked an arm around Regina's shoulders. She leaned down her head and rested it briefly on Regina's shoulder, just long enough to send a jolt through the older woman.

"I'll be there, too," she said softly. "I'll make sure Snow doesn't talk to you too much." She gave Regina a small smile. "Thank you."

"Moms?" They turned at Henry's voice. "Granny wants to know if you're coming in for lunch." Slowly, Emma's arm dropped from Regina's shoulder and she stood, offering her hand to Regina.

"Yeah, we're coming."

Everyone else was already sitting around the table when they came in. Snow looked at Emma expectantly, and the younger woman gave a small nod. Emma took the seat next to her, leaving an empty one for Regina between Red and Henry. Though she cherished the opportunity to sit next to her son, Regina could not help the pang of loss that came with being across the table from Emma. She knew she was growing more comfortable in the other woman's presence. That was almost a certainty with them sharing a bed each night now. She even knew that she was beginning to like Emma. She liked the way there was no judgment in the other woman's eyes when they talked. She liked how Emma saw her as a person and not some mythical Evil Queen. She liked how Emma never backed down from her. She liked how Emma curled around her during the night, and she liked how Emma defended her.

That did not mean she had feelings for Emma as Red liked to insinuate. Certainly not.

The Charmings discussed their plans for how to go about finding the fairies, and Regina held her tongue as best she could, choosing instead to engage Henry in a conversation about whether or not he should keep up his studies. He argued that he would not need more education in a zombie apocalypse, while Regina argued that one could never have enough education. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Emma watching them with amusement.

"I mean, come on, Mom," he said emphatically. "I'm not going to need to know how to do algebra, or how to dissect a sentence."

"But you might need to know how to dissect a frog," Red quipped from Regina's other side, grinning at the glare she earned.

"Miss Lucas, you are not helping," Regina snapped. A year earlier, it would have caused each person at the table to shrink in fear, but Red just shrugged and kept eating, the corners of her mouth still upturned. Regina realized that she had lost almost all of her intimidation factor. Allowing these people to see her in her home, to see her in her pajamas in the hallway, had given her a distinctly human facet that had been lacking before. She did not like it. It was one thing for Emma to see her as human. It was another thing entirely for her former enemies to see her as such. Another crack in her walls.

"Henry, your mom is right," Emma said. "Well, to an extent. You should keep up with your reading and your basic math and definitely science. It's going to be important now to know what kinds of plants we can eat and how to find North and all that shit."

"Language," Regina warned her. She would at least make Emma keep up standards while at the table. With a dramatic roll of her eyes, Emma corrected herself.

"All that _stuff_." She was still smirking at Regina when Snow nudged her in the ribs. "Oh, yeah, we should talk about heading over to the nunnery. I think it should just be me, Snow, and Regina." Both Regina and Snow turned to stare at her.

"Are you sure that's wise?" Archie asked tentatively.

"The more people we have, the harder it will be to move around," Emma explained. "Of course, this is only if you two agree to it. Obviously." In that moment, Emma separated herself from her parents completely in Regina's mind. She would never feel that royal entitlement Snow White did, or that valiant righteousness that Charming did. More than either of them, she knew what it was like to have choices taken away, to have to battle the darkness that would settle around one's heart after a life of struggles.

"I suppose," Snow started slowly, looking to Regina.

"Fine." It was the most civil they would be able to expect from her.

"Great. Okay well, we should probably wait until tomorrow morning so that we have the whole day. We don't want to get stuck in the dark."

Later that night, as she sat in bed waiting for Emma to finish in the bathroom, Regina reflected on how she had come to rely on this woman. She leaned on Emma emotionally, at least more than she had ever leaned on anyone else before. She trusted that Emma would keep her from overreacting, from lashing out, from ruining the fragile bridge she was building with Henry. She trusted Emma to keep her safe.

"Thanks again for not making a big deal about everything today," Emma said as she walked back into the bedroom.

"I suppose there comes a point when arguing is pointless," Regina answered, turning a page in a book she was attempting to read. She had not retained any of it.

"Arguing is pointless?" Emma snorted, plopping on the bed next to Regina. "Since when? You'd argue with a fence post just for the fun of it." She settled back against the pillows, turning on her side so that she was facing Regina. "I know how hard it was for you. I appreciate it."

"I already told you, I'm not doing this for you."

"I know." The smile Emma gave her was all too knowing, and Regina scowled, concentrating harder on her book.

"If you're tired," she said, changing the subject, "I can turn off the light."

"No, you keep reading. I can crash even with the light on." Her eyes crinkled up at the corners, and Regina had a sudden urge to drop kisses on those slight wrinkles. She tensed, her heart thudding and her chest constricting. "Regina? You okay?"

"Fine." She slammed her book on the nightstand harder than she should have, causing Emma to raise a brow. "I'm going to go to sleep."

"If it's about tomorrow-"

"It's not." Regina flicked off the light, and pulled the covers around herself, back to Emma. The younger woman shifted, and Regina knew she was thinking about scooting closer. She must have thought better of it because she sighed instead.

"Good night, Regina."

When she woke again, it was to find Emma's arm around her as usual, the Savior's nose pressed against the nape of her neck. Emma was sound asleep, but Regina tensed in her arms. This woman was changing her. Making her feel things she had not felt in a very, very long time. Who was this person she was becoming? A person who did things simply because someone asked her to. Not for personal gain. Not for strategic gain. Not because she thought it would help her in any way. She wanted to do things for Emma. No matter how much she tried to deny that. She wanted to help Emma find the fairies because she wanted to help Emma. The fairies could rot in hell for all she cared, but Emma wanted her there. So she would go. And she would maybe learn how to start becoming the person she could have been. Someone Henry could be proud of.

"'Gina?" Emma mumbled against her neck. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. Don't ever call me that again, though," She whispered, turning to face Emma. The other woman opened sleepy green eyes.

"Sorry. You have so many rules, it's hard to remember them all." Emma closed her eyes again and tried to snuggle closer to Regina. "You're so complicated. But I like you."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. You're all prickly, but," she yawned widely, "that's just a shield. You're just a big softie on the inside."

"You've got it all figured out," Regina said, realizing that Emma was mostly asleep and unaware of her honesty.

"And you smell good. I like your shampoo."

And she fell back asleep. Regina let her eyes roam over the face before her, taking in the chin that looked so much like Snow's, the stubborn set jaw that was all Charming, the nose that belonged to Emma, and the smile that she shared with Henry. Emma's blond curls were tussled and fanned around her on the pillow, and her neck curved elegantly. Looking at her, for the first time, Regina did not feel anything but affection. No animosity, no hate, no exasperation, no jealousy. None of the things she should have felt for the woman who unraveled her curse and ruined her life.

Because she thought maybe Emma had not ruined it all. Maybe Emma had saved her.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN**: i know this update took a while, and don't really expect them to be coming any faster because i am fully back at work now and my muse is being really fickle and such. But i think i have a good direction for this story now so hopefully that will help

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Emma drove, which was probably a sound decision considering the fact that it was all Regina could do to keep from snapping at Snow, who was huddled in the back seat, talking as little as possible. So far, the ride had been tense and quiet, with Emma trying to engage Regina and Snow in conversation in turns. All of her attempts had been met with monosyllabic answers from Snow, and hardly concealed annoyance from Regina.

The more she thought about it, the more she regretted agreeing to come on this ridiculously idiotic mission. She felt a sense of dread in the pit of her stomach, though it could have to do with the fact that both she and Emma were separated from Henry. Knowing that was not helping her mood in the slightest.

"And what if they are there?" Regina asked as they passed down Main Street. "What if there's a whole nunnery full of fairies? What then?" She looked over her shoulder at Snow.

"Oh…uh…I don't know."

"What were you planning? Moving in with them? Or taking them back to my home? Because I can assure you, I will not welcome them." Regina scowled and crossed her arms.

"I hadn't thought-"

"No, you clearly have not thought about anything," Regina spat, and Emma placed a hand on her knee.

"We'll figure it out," Emma assured her. "They might not even be there. No point in getting worked up over something that may not even be an issue." She looked directly at Regina and lowered her voice. "Henry's not going anywhere, and neither am I."

"Oh, God, no of course Regina, I would never take Henry-"

Emma turned to shoot her mother a sharp look, reminding all three women that Snow had been doing just that for weeks as she denied Regina the right to see her own son. "Stop while you're behind."

"I'm sorry." Snow's voice was small and pained, and Regina wanted to relish in it but found she could not. She gleaned no pleasure from Snow's discomfort and guilt. Onlydisgust. And maybe pity. Pity that a woman as strong as Snow White had let this destroy her.

"Oh, for God's sake, grow a spine," Regina muttered, earning a confused glance from Emma.

"What?" Snow leaned forward in her seat.

"I said, grow a spine," Regina repeated, teeth clenched. "You killed my mother to protect your family. You tricked me into doing it because you knew there was no way I would have let you leave the crypt with her heart. You had me do it because you would not have been able to get close enough to her to do it yourself. You stopped her from becoming the Dark One, and we all know she would have been much worse than Rumpelstiltskin. Even I know that. So, Snow White. Grow. Up. And get over yourself. You did what you had to do."

Neither of the other two women said anything as Regina turned to look out the window at the town she had created. There were bodies on the sidewalks, in the streets, in cars. Windows shattered and broken. Trash collecting in corners and gutters. The perfection she had always strived for was gone. In its place was destruction.

"We have to live with our mistakes and the consequences of them," she continued, more softly now. "All your self-pity will do for you is make you useless. And if that's the case, then we might as well stop the car now and push you out. You either learn to live with it, or you don't."

They sat in awkward silence as Regina finished her monologue, with Emma giving her a curious look. She could not see Snow's face, and she had no desire to turn around and check.

After a few minutes, she heard a sniff from the back seat, and a long sigh. "You're right. I've let this keep me from protecting my family, and that's unacceptable." Regina glanced over her shoulder at Snow who was staring hard at her lap brows furrowed. "I'll do better."

It was not the response Regina had expected, and she did not know what to say. Beside her, Emma was looking between her and Snow, as though she could not believe what had transpired.

"Eyes on the road, Miss Swan," Regina reminded her. "Let's not leave Henry motherless." With a blush and a nod, Emma turned her attention back to the road in front of them.

"Sorry. I was just so surprised that you two managed to have a somewhat civil conversation."

"Civil? Hardly," Regina quipped, but Emma had a point. Not once on this ill planned car ride had Regina threatened Snow with physical violence, curses, or death. That was progress. She was starting to realize that if she wanted Emma and Henry in her life-and she was begrudgingly admitting to herself that she did actually want Emma in her life- then Snow and Charming were part of the deal, no matter how much she wished they were not.

"Well, for you," Emma amended with a small grin. Snow watched the whole thing with a thoughtful expression. Regina eyed her again, but did not say anything as she felt the crackle of magic up ahead and held out her arm in front of Emma.

"Stop the car."

"What?"

"There's a magical shield ahead of us," she explained, glad to see that Emma obeyed her even before she began her explanation. "If you keep going, the car will be flung away."

"Yes, God forbid anything happen to your precious Benz," Emma muttered, putting the car in park and looking around nervously for any approaching zombies.

"Need I remind you that we would be flung back, as well?" Regina opened her door and stepped out. "This is the work of the fairies," she told the other two as Emma and Snow both climbed out after her. "We can't get in without them opening it up for us." She looked up the hill to the nunnery. It was far enough away that she could not be certain the fairies would see them.

"Great," Emma muttered. "Well, at least we know they're up there, right?"

"As much good as it does us." Regina edged closer to the barrier, knowing that Emma did not have the magical knowledge to be able to recognize it as well as she could. "They must have used quite a good bit of fairy dust for this. It's very strong."

"So how do we get their attention?" Emma had Charming's sword in her hand, eyes alert for any movement around them.

"Let's find out." Regina ignited her hand and flung a ball of fire high into the air. It hovered for a few moments before letting out a flash of magic and energy, which rippled through the shield. It shuddered for a moment, but held. "That should cause someone to come looking."

Emma rested the sword on her shoulder and leaned against the car, constantly scanning the road and the trees around them. They were not in the best place to be caught unaware by a group of zombies, but it could not be helped.

"Thank you, for coming with us, Regina," Snow said quietly as they stood, waiting.

"I didn't do it for you," Regina ground out.

"I know." Snow gave her that sad little smile that Regina hated so much. The one that said 'I'm a good person, so I forgive you for lashing out in your pain. I understand you.' When clearly, Snow White did not understand her at all. Snow White did not even understand her own daughter. Snow White understood nothing.

Emma, however, understood far too much, as she proved when she moved between them, and put a hand on Regina's shoulder. The smile she gave was one of actual understanding. One that said thank you for not killing my mother even though she killed yours. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for how hard you are trying. It was a smile that eased some of Regina's tension. Because she knew that someone acknowledged her. Someone saw her efforts. Someone besides Archie Hopper.

It was an awkward five minutes before Regina saw someone walking toward them from the other side of the barrier. First she recognized the Blue Fairy, and Emma's hand tightened where it still rested on her arm. Then she identified the mechanic who was father to Hansel and Gretel. Something in her loosened because while he looked haggard and warn, he did not carry the devastated brokenness one would expect had he lost his children. She would have good news to bring home to Henry.

Upon catching sight of who was waiting for them, the Blue Fairy frowned then waved her wand to open a door sized hole in the barrier. Regina gave her car a worried look, realizing they would have to leave it behind.

Emma caught her eye and smirked. "Come on, Madame Mayor. The zombies don't care about your car." She gave Regina a push through the opening, Snow following close behind them.

"Majesty," Blue said to Snow, and it was all Regina could do not to roll her eyes too hard. "We had thought you lost."

"In the chaos, it was impossible to find people," Snow said graciously, and Regina hated that she was so able to slip into the role of queen. "We have just been trying to survive the past few days."

"The prince?"

"He is well. As are Henry, Granny, Red, and Archie."

Blue eyed Regina warily. "Where have you been? We looked for you as much as we could."

"We've been staying with Regina at her home." Snow looked between them and did a strange thing where she angled her body toward Regina, head held high. Protective. It made Regina want to strangle her, but she refrained. "Everyone else is still there. We….didn't know what we'd find." Blue nodded and extended her hand towards the nunnery.

"Follow me, Majesty. Your highness," she said as an afterthought to Emma, who squirmed uncomfortably under the title. Regina was ignored altogether, which was for the best. As Snow and Emma follow Blue, Regina turned to Michael.

"Your children?" she asked, in what she hoped was a nonthreatening way. "Henry's been worried about them."

"They're both fine," the man replied stiffly. Not that Regina could blame him. She separated him from his children for years, and years, and years. She pushed the deep wave of regret down because she could not afford to drown just yet. "They'll be glad to know that Henry's okay. He's a good kid." Despite his mother went unsaid, but Regina knew it was thought all the same.

"He is." They both let the conversation drop, and Regina pretended not to see the worried glance Emma threw back at her. Regina was well accustomed to cohabiting space with people who hated her. Michael's quiet distaste was hardly the worst she had ever encountered.

There were more people than she expected in the nunnery. Five of the dwarves. She could not remember all their names, but she did recognize Grumpy and Doc. All the fairies, if she was not mistaken. Michael's children. At least six others she did not care at all about. And, to her relief, Kathryn Nolan and a man who must have been Frederick. Kathryn looked up as they entered the great sanctuary that had been cleared out to make room for rows of cots. She locked eyes with Regina and stood with all the grace of a born princess. Regina had always been envious of the way Kathryn could so quietly own a room, could put everyone in it at ease. She was one of the most genuinely good and kind people Regina had ever met. Regina's stomach knotted up in guilt as Kathryn walked over.

Emma caught the movement and edged closer to Regina, away from her mother and Blue.

"You gonna be okay?" she asked quietly, nodding her head Kathryn's way.

"Yes. She and I have…a lot to talk about."

"You mean you have a lot to apologize for."

"Yes."

"She'll…probably forgive you," Emma said reassuringly. "Probably. Just…Be truthful. For once." Regina let the dig slide off her. Emma was right, and becoming indignant about it would not help her situation at all. When Emma left her, Kathryn stepped into the emptied space. For a moment, they could only stare at each other, with Regina trying not to give into the instinct to jump into defense of her actions.

"Regina."

"Kathryn." She wanted to say she was sorry. She wanted to say she wished she could take it all back. She wanted to say that Kathryn's friendship had actually meant something to her, and that she was just a very messed up person who did not know how to have healthy, nontoxic relationships with people. She wanted to say all that, but the words stuck in her throat as Kathryn waited expectantly. "I'm pleased to see you are unharmed."

"Really?" Kathryn's face was an open book. Regina could see the anger, the hurt, the sadness. But what she did not see was the hatred she expected. Kathryn, it seemed, was incapable of hatred. "I would have thought that after what you did to me, you didn't care at all what happened to me."

Regina found that she could not really keep Kathryn's gaze. There have been times in the past where she had felt badly about hurting someone, but never had she felt as poorly as she did about what she did to Kathryn. A woman who showed her true kindness and friendship.

"I know there's nothing I can say to change what I did," Regina began, and she could feel Emma watching them from across the room. "I….I am not a good person, and I have hurt a lot of people, and I don't expect your forgiveness. I don't deserve it. But please know that I am really and truly sorry."

"I just wonder what must have happened to you to make you like this," Kathryn said quietly, contemplative. Her brows furrowed, and she shook her head. "I can't imagine the kind of pain that drives someone to react to friendship like you do."

"I hope you never have to," Regina replied because she owed Kathryn better than a transparent denial.

"I do forgive, you, Regina," the other woman said. "I don't know if I can be your friend again. Not yet. But I do forgive you."

"That is more than I deserve."

Kathryn smiled softly. "Probably. But I'm feeling generous." She glanced over Regina's shoulder. "So what's going on with you and Emma?"

"Miss Swan?" Regina looked back quickly, seeing that Emma was watching them. "Nothing, I assure you."

Kathryn raised a brow, clearly not believing Regina for a second. "I'm sure."

Sighing, Regina relented. "I'm not sure, exactly. It's…complicated."

"Sometimes the best things are." Kathryn placed a gentle hand on Regina's shoulder. "Don't push her away. She's good for you." Before Regina could respond, Kathryn ducked her head and returned to Frederick, leaving Regina alone in a room full of people who hated her. Well, a room full of people who hated her and one who did not. Emma saw that she was free again and waved her over to where she and Snow where talking to the fairies. Reluctantly, Regina joined them.

"They're talking about what to do next," Emma explained while Snow and Blue discussed.

"Majesty, the nunnery is safest," Blue said emphatically, her irritation clear. "We already have wards around it, and it is positioned very defensibly."

"I just don't know if it's the best place for us to…start over." Snow looked around the room, frowning. "It's fine for a temporary safe place, but it's hardly a place for new beginnings."

"We have to survive before we can think about starting over," Blue countered, and Regina hated that she agreed with the damned fairy. Of course, she would have hated agreeing with Snow just as much.

Snow sighed, and nodded her head. "You're right. We should group up here and figure out what to do next."

Regina hissed slightly, and Emma took her by the arm and drug her away before she could yell at Snow and Blue.

"I will NOT move here!" Regina seethed, wresting her arm away from Emma. "I refuse to spend what's left of my life with a bunch of hypocrites who hate me!"

"I'm not a huge fan of this idea either," Emma said, "but Blue has a point. It doesn't make sense for there to be two camps, and there's safety in numbers."

"I'd rather take my chances."

"But what about Henry?"

Regina could not answer, her jaw working as she ground her teeth together. "I can protect him."

"I don't doubt that, but shouldn't he be around some kids his age?" Emma glanced over at Hansel and Gretel. "He's been through a lot. He needs some normalcy."

"What could be more normal than sleeping in his own bed in his own house?"

"You know what I mean." Emma sighed and folded her arms, looking down and scuffing her boot against the floor. "Look, I swear to you, I'm not going to up and take Henry here without you, okay. I think this might be the best option, but I'm not super psyched about it either. And I'm not leaving you, so if you're stubborn ass is going to insist on staying at your house, we'll figure something out. But please, Regina, don't make this more difficult than it already is."

"We'll discuss it with Henry," Regina said resolutely. She was starting to feel her chest compress with growing anxiety, and she needed to leave soon before she did something that she would regret. Like blow up half the nunnery.

"Of course. Why don't we go wait outside while Snow talks to people?" Emma led her into the hall where Regina leaned up against the wall, taking measured breaths. "You know, if it does come down to us moving here, I bet they won't protest too much in giving the Evil Queen her own room."

"How the prospect thrills me," Regina snipped, but she knew it lacked her usual strength. She was not sure if anyone understood how poorly she did with groups of people. All her life she had been alone, isolated in one way or another. The last few days had been the longest time she had ever shared close quarters with so many people who were not her guards. It was wearing on her, and the prospect of being surrounded by even more people, ones who tolerated her even less than the ones at her home, was exhausting in its mere possibility.

"I'll certainly miss that bed," Emma sighed. "That was probably the nicest mattress I've ever slept on. And I'll miss the coffee maker, and Granny's cooking, and your shower, and not having a shit ton of people around."

"We are in agreement on all points," Regina replied. "Of course, there are more places here to get away from your parents. I swear if I have to watch them maul each other one more time, I'll not be held responsible for my actions." Emma snorted and grinned. Regina found herself returning it. It was becoming harder and harder to lie to herself about what she felt for Emma Swan. She could not deny that she found the other woman attractive. She always had, from the first time she had seen Emma on the walkway of her house. All their arguments had always left Regina wanting something more, though she could never been quite sure what. The realness of Emma in the monotony of her cursed life had been thrilling and intoxicating. She had found herself seeking out the other woman , looking for fights, for anything, for something real. They were drawn to each other in some way, always butting heads, yet understanding each other better than anyone else could.

"How'd it go with Kathryn?"

"Kathryn Nolan is a better person than I have any right knowing," Regina said softly.

"Yeah, she's actually pretty great," Emma agreed with a smile. When Regina looked down at her feet again, Emma sighed and changed topics. "You want to tell me why you hate the fairies?"

"Not particularly." Regina crossed her arms over her chest. Maybe one day she would tell Emma all the things that festered inside her, all the pains she held onto, clutching at them like they were life lines. One day, she would tell Emma, but not while she was feeling trapped and anxious in the middle of Blue's territory. "Just suffice it to say that the fairies are not the moral, benevolent beings they would have you believe."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, Blue is adept at making the…hard decisions that someone with a heart as soft as your mother's can't." Regina could see that Emma did not quite understand what she was saying. "Blue will make sacrifices for the 'greater good.' Sacrifices that _she_ does not have to feel."

"Were you one of these sacrifices?"

Regina smiled coolly. "Not directly, but I have felt the repercussions of her choices." Emma opened her mouth to say something more, but Snow strode out into the hallway, Blue close behind her.

"We should head back so we can discuss whether or not we're going to move in here," Snow said, eyeing Regina as though expecting her to succumb to a violent fit in protestation. When that did not happen, Snow nodded to herself. "It's going to be dark soon, and we need to get going. Blue, we'll contact you when we've made our decision."

"Yes, Your Majesty." Blue led them down the walk to where Regina's car was still waiting for them beyond the barrier. It was untouched, and Regina chided herself for her silly attachment to the thing. It was just a car. She could conjure a new one with little effort if she wanted. Somehow, though, she knew that would not be the same.

Blue opened the barrier long enough for them to slip through, closing it behind them. Regina felt that feeling of dread that had been with her all morning swell up in her gut as she turned her head to the left in time to see a zombie stumble around from where it had been hidden by her car. Where Snow was already pulling on the handle of the backdoor. She did not see the creature, and Regina's throat closed on a warning. She hesitated just a moment because, oh it would be so very easy to let it happen, to let Snow get taken. It would not even be her fault because it was Snow's idea to come here in the first place despite Regina's misgivings. She could have let it happen. But in the corner of her eye, she saw the fan of Emma's bright hair as she turned, and Regina knew that her days of wishing Snow dead were over.

"Snow, behind you!" she shouted, in time for Snow to take a stumbling step backwards. But it was still too late. The zombie already had her arm, bringing down its teeth to sink into Snow's flesh. As scream erupted form her throat, and Regina stood frozen as Emma ran forward, beheading the monster quickly, and pulling Snow's jacket off to check the wound. Her face turned gray as she surveyed the damage. With desperation, she looked back up to where Blue was still standing on the other side of the barrier.

"Let us in, she needs help!"

Blue shook her head slowly, eyes wide with horror. "I'm sorry, Princess. I can't. There's nothing I can do. She's been infected. I can't….I can't take the risk."

"Blue?" Snow looked the most betrayed Regina had ever seen her, which was saying quite a lot considering their shared history.

"Your Majesty, I can't endanger the people inside. I'm sorry." She turned her eyes on Emma again. "The others are welcome still to come here." Her face hardened. "All but the Dark Queen." Regina should have known that without Snow, the fairies would never let her inside their sanctuary. She snarled and lunged at the barrier, only to be slung back as she hit it, landing hard on her side. Groaning, she pushed herself up to see Blue shaking her head before turning and walking away.

"Regina!" Emma's voice tore her back to reality. "You have to do something!" Regina quickly threw up a small shield around them before scrambling over to Emma and Snow. She took Snow's arm and examined the wound.

"I don't know…..I never…Healing was not important to my…training." She realized that she was shaking, and she took a deep breath. "I don't know if I can do anything."

"You have to try," Emma insisted, close to tears. "Please, Regina, please."

Regina looked at Snow, jaw working as she fought with all the instincts she had spent the majority of her life cultivating. Killing Snow was what she had always wanted. Saving Snow had only ever cost her. She pinned the younger woman under a steely glare.

"Twice before, I have saved your life and then later lived to regret it." Regina blew out a sigh through her nose. "Don't make me regret it again."

"I won't"

Regina nodded, took a breath, and stretched her hand over the wound. Henry said it as a virus, a sickness like any other, only it had devastating consequences. Closing her eyes and reaching out with her magic, Regina could feel the heat of the virus right there below the surface, starting to spread into Snow's bloodstream. If she could call it back, if she could stop it in time…..

Regina pushed her magic farther into Snow, taking hold of the tendrils of the virus, pulling them back. She opened her eyes to see an inky black substance hovering between her hand and Snow's skin. With caution and precision, Regina pulled it back, away from Snow, and flung it to the ground. Under the wide eyes of Emma, she leaned forward, and pressed her magic into Snow once again, checking to see if there was any infection left. She chased down two fleeing tendrils that were racing up Snow's arm, towards her heart. Regina knew that if she let them go, they would kill Snow. When they were under her grasp, she pulled them through Snow's bloodstream, ignoring the gasp of pain from the younger woman. After that was done and she was sure she had gotten all of the infection, Regina did her best to close the wound. Really, it was a miracle her magic had been able to identify and grab onto the virus in such a way. It made Regina wonder if it was not something of magical origins.

"I…I think that's it," she said shakily, sitting back on her haunches, just then realizing how much the whole thing had taken out of her. The shield she had put up was wavering, and more zombies were starting to gather. "We should go. Now." Emma helped Snow up, and pushed her into the back seat. She then turned and gave Regina her hand.

"Thank you."

"We don't know if it worked," Regina said, taking the hand, and bracing herself against Emma as she swayed on her feet.

"But you tried. You did more than Blue." Emma tilted her head, her eyes full of something that terrified Regina. She did not have time to think about it, though, because Emma surged forward, taking Regina's face between her hands like she had done at the hardware store, and this time Regina knew what would happen with a certainty that she had rarely ever felt.

And Emma Swan kissed her.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN**: This one took me a while to write, and I'm still not sure how I feel about it.

* * *

Regina had kissed before. She had kissed many times before. She considered herself pretty well versed in the art. So she was slightly confused as to why her whole body froze up as Emma's lips pressed to hers. Emma was leaning into her, and Regina could only stand there, shocked, as her body reacted. After the incident with Jefferson's hat, Regina had known that there was some connection between her magic and Emma's. At the time, she had chalked it up to some consequence of Emma being the Savior. But as they stood there in Regina's little bubble of safety, Snow in the back of the car and zombies gathering around them, she knew that it ran deeper. Her magic swelled inside her, overflowing and shooting out of her in a brilliant shockwave of blinding light. It obliterated the shield she had put up, incinerating the zombies around them, and slamming into the protection spell around the nunnery. The spell shuddered and waivered, fluxuating wildly before fizzling out.

As the magic left her, Regina regained her senses and pushed away from Emma.

"What the hell was that?" she snapped, trying to cover how much she was shaking. Emma's eyes widened, and she took a step back.

"I…I'm sorry…Regina, I…." She swallowed and shook her head. "I didn't think-"

"That much is very clear!" Regina wrenched herself away, hands up in defense. She was trembling, and she felt like her entire world had just been rerouted. She supposed she should have seen this coming, based on how Emma had been acting the last few days, but it still came as a great surprise. And Regina hated surprises. She always reacted to them with hostility.

"I'm sorry," Emma said again, looking stricken. "I thought that we….that you…"

"Well, you thought wrong," Regina spat, though the words fell flat on her tongue. For a moment, as she had been pressed up against Emma, Regina had felt safe. Had felt something she had never felt before. Even with Daniel, there had always been that underlying fear that her mother would find out, would catch them.

Regina clutched at her stomach, shivering and not understanding why a simple kiss had shaken her so thoroughly. The magic it had ripped from her had left her drained, and she was already exhausted from healing Snow. She glanced up to see Blue and the other fairies racing down the hill, desperately trying to replace the shield that Regina's magic had destroyed. Blue looked at them with wide eyes, her body turning in a defensive position with her shoulder out and her wand raised.

"You stay on that side!" she shouted. "If you come closer, we won't hesitate to force you back."

Emma's face twisted into a grimace, and her jaw set hard. "Regina, let's just go home. We'll talk about this later." Regina wanted to snap back at her, but her mind was hung on the word 'home.' She nodded and shot Blue one last glare before ducking into the passenger seat of her car. She glanced back at Snow, who wore an expression of shock as she looked between Emma and Regina.

"What….Emma what did…."

"It's not your business," Emma said wearily. Regina suspected that if Snow had not just survived a brush with death, Emma would have snapped at her. "We….Let me and Regina talk about it first, okay? I just…we need to talk without anyone else's input."

"You _kissed_ her." Snow's voice took a hard edge to it. "You kissed the woman who ripped our family apart!"

"How short your memory is," Regina hissed. "I seem to recall that I also just saved your life."

"One good deed-"

"Snow, I swear to God, you better shut your mouth," Emma bit out, and Snow's mouth shut so hard Regina swore she heard her teeth click together. "Regina could have let you die. She didn't have to help, and if I had been in her position, I don't know if I could have put aside all my anger to save someone who had ruined my life." She sighed, and shook her head. "We have to let go of the past. All of us. If we don't, we're never going to survive. And now that the fairies are no longer viable allies, we have to learn how to trust each other." She glanced behind her in the rearview mirror where the fairies were slowly reconstructing their shield.

Emma let out a long sigh. "Not a word of….of what happened between me and Regina to anyone, okay? Especially not Henry."

"Don't want our son to know that you kissed the Evil Queen?" Regina snipped, her words meant to hurt.

"Jesus, Regina, the only thing I regret about that is that you didn't want it." Emma shook her head, her brows tilted up in pain. "I didn't mean to take that choice from you. I'm sorry." Regina turned to look at her, chest tightening with something she could not quite identify. All her life, choices had been taken from her. All her life, she had been reduced to what other people wanted for her and from her. And never had someone sincerely apologized for one bit of it. Then there was Emma. Emma, who knew without asking exactly what she had done wrong. Emma, who knew exactly how Regina's choices had been taken from her. Emma, who Regina could still feel against her lips.

"I'm so sorry, Regina."

Not trusting her voice, Regina nodded, turning to look out the window. They rode in silence the rest of the way, the only interaction being when Emma nudged Regina to get her to magically open the gate in the wall around the house to let the car through. Regina was the first to exit, practically bolting to the door, only to stop short when she realized that David's car was gone. Emma must have seen it as well.

"God, I hope he has a good reason," Emma muttered, helping Snow from the car. Archie, Henry, and Granny stepped out to meet them. "Where the hell is David?"

"He and Red went back to the diner," Granny explained, looking between the three women with shrewd eyes. Regina knew they would not be able to hide the awkwardness from her for long. "She left her cloak in all the confusion, and the full moon is soon. We decided not to take any chances."

"They should have waited and taken me or Regina with them," Emma grumbled. "Well, we have good news and bad news."

"Let's have it," Granny said, folding her arms. Archie placed a hand on Henry's shoulder, and Regina could see them all bracing themselves for the worst.

"The fairies are alive, as are about…twenty-ish other people." Emma guided Snow into the house, everyone following closely. Regina was surprised to be on the receiving end of a quick hug from Henry before he trotted after his birth mother into the dining room where they all sat around the table.

"They're alive?" Archie's brows raised. "Then what's the bad news?"

"We won't be staying with them," Emma growled, her hands clenching into fists. Despite her confused feelings, or perhaps because of them, Regina felt the urge to reach over and cover Emma's hands with her own. "There was an...incident. As we were leaving, Snow…Snow got bitten." There was an understandable uproar of fear and anguish and rage at Emma's announcement that the Savior was only barely able to shout over. "It's okay! She's fine! Regina saved her."

Then all eyes were on her, and she could only shrug, trying to ignore the proud wonderment that radiated from Henry's face. It made the whole ordeal worth it just to have him look at her like that.

"Anyway, when Blue saw that Snow was bitten, she closed off the shield and wouldn't let us in. She was going to let Snow die." Emma breathed out through her nose carefully, and Regina thought that she could almost feel the anger rolling around in the other woman. "And I don't want to live with that kind of person. She said that the rest of us were welcome. Besides Regina. So if you want to go, I won't take it personally. It's probably safer there."

"Yeah, unless you pose a threat to the 'greater good,'" Granny snorted. "One slip up from Red, and they'd kick us out, too." She shook her head. "We're fine right here. So long as it's fine with the Mayor."

"Well, you've all already made yourselves at home," Regina said blandly, feigning irritation with a wave of her hand. "And…Henry seems to like having you here." She sniffed. "I suppose I'll manage." She cleared her throat as they all looked at her with what she thought was entirely too much familiarity. "Right now, though, we need to quarantine Snow. Just to make sure." She held up her hand against the protests. "I don't know if I was able to get all of the virus. I'm fairly certain I did, but we shouldn't take any chances. Henry, how long is the incubation period for this?"

"I'd say no more than a day," her son told her with a nod of his head. "Probably shorter than that."

"We'll go with a day, then," Regina decided. "To be certain. Snow, you'll be confined to your room with a constant guard until we're sure I got all of the virus."

"Okay." Snow's voice was closed and tight, and Regina knew it was not from the order to quarantine her. Luckily, only three people in the room knew the real reason why Snow could barely look at Regina, and none of them were spilling.

"I'll take you up and take first watch," Emma volunteered, a little too quickly. Regina watched them leave, a strange pang resonating in her chest. She knew that she and Emma would have to talk about the kiss sooner or later, and she was worried that such a conversation would send them stumbling backwards when they had been making such progress.

"Mom?" Henry's voice had Regina turning her head, ripped from her thoughts.

"Yes?"

"Who else is…." He faltered, and Regina's heart broke for him. He was too young, much too young, to have to deal with this. "Who else was with the fairies?"

She gave him a gentle smile. "Ava and Nicholas. And their father."

"Really?" His shoulders relaxed, and Regina saw the light in his eyes brighten just a little.

"Yes. They were worried about you, and glad to know you're all right." Regina reached out to smooth his hair, hesitating only a moment in her actions. He no longer flinched at her touch, no longer pulled away from her, no longer looked as though he feared what she would do to him. "Kathryn Nolan, or I suppose she goes by Princess Abigail now, and her….Frederick. Some of the dwarves, though I'm not sure which ones. You'll have to ask Emma. And a few other people I did not know well." He seemed appeased by her answer.

"Did you really save Snow?"

"I did. Not one of my better moments of judgment, I'm afraid." But she cracked a smile at him so that he knew she was joking.

"I'm proud of you, Mom."

Archie politely looked away, and Granny mumbled something about the kitchen while Regina looked away, trying to compose herself.

"I'm…trying to be better," she eventually said. "To be the mother you deserve."

"I just want you to get better so that you'll be happy," Henry told her, and Regina sent Archie a glare that had him stuttering out an excuse before fleeing to the study, leaving Regina and Henry alone.

"You make me happy, Henry. I just want what's best for you."

"I know." He frowned a little, his brows coming together in a way that made him look painfully like Emma. "I missed you a lot when I was living with Grandma and Gramps."

"I missed you, too."

"Are we going to be a family now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like me and you and Emma and Grandma and Gramps?" He tilted his head, and Regina knew that his actions mirrored ones she did herself. He was truly both her child and Emma's.

"I….I'm not going to take you away from them," she said slowly, carefully. "They are important to you, and…I…." She sighed, unable to find the right words. "I won't make you choose between us."

"I like it when you and Emma get along. It feels like a family. Like we never had."

She wanted to feel hurt that he never felt like a family with her, but he said 'we' and she could only fixate on that word. On how her son understood that she never had that either. On how he did not exclude her. Regina gathered Henry into her arms and bent down to kiss the top of his head, overcome by her love for him in a way that threatened to shatter her careful self-control.

"A family." She pressed her cheek against his hair, letting out a shuddering breath. Closing her eyes, she let herself imagine for a moment what that kind of family would look like. One where her son loved her and she had someone on her side, someone who believed in her. It was a vision that she found she could not will away once it was in her head. Swallowing hard, she pulled away from Henry as she heard the back door open. Quietly, Granny explained what had happened to Charming, and Regina had enough time to compose herself before he ripped through the dining room.

"Where is she?" he snarled.

"Upstairs. Emma is with her," Regina replied calmly. Charming tore past them, racing up the stairs. Red and Granny stepped in next to Henry, and Regina turned to greet Red with a small nod. "Did you retrieve your cloak?"

"Uh…yeah. We got it."

"You should have waited for Emma or myself," Regina reprimanded softly, not sure why she felt the need to protect the young woman. "It's very dangerous to be out without someone who can use magic."

"I'm a werewolf," Red said simply, raising a brow and smirking.

"Which is only helpful once a month." Regina shook her head. "It would be best if we didn't take chances like that in the future."

"Whatever." Red ruffled Henry's hair before growing somber. "Is it true that the fairies were going to let Snow die?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. Though, as I told your grandmother, the rest of you are welcome at the nunnery. Excluding myself."

"Yeah, I don't think I'll be taking them up on that offer," Red snorted. "Besides, I kind of like it here. And you're not half bad company once you get past all the prickles." Regina just glared at her and told Henry to go help Granny with dinner while she washed up. It had been a long day, and she felt disgusting and thoroughly drained. She retreated to her room, catching a few words of a terse conversation from the 'Charming' bedroom, and stepped into the shower to relax.

Dinner was a quiet affair, with Charming and Snow eating in their room, and Emma and Regina resolutely avoiding speaking with each other. Everyone had noticed by the end of the meal that something was off between the two women, but no one said anything. Emma went back to her parents after they were through, and Regina stayed up with Henry for a couple of hours, surprised that she actually enjoyed Archie and Red's company during that time. They were…not as insufferable as she had once thought. Not that she would ever say that to their faces.

She was sitting in bed, reading, when a knock broke her concentration.

"Come in."

Emma opened the door and poked her head in. "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that we're taking a double watch shift tonight because Ruby and David are taking turns watching Snow."

"That's fine."

"Okay. Um…well, goodnight." Emma gave a small smile and started closing the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Oh, I….I thought that I'd just sleep on the couch tonight," Emma said, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly. "I wanted to give you space, or whatever."

"Henry will notice," Regina said, turning back to her book so she did not have to see the hopeful surprise on Emma's face. "Then he'll ask questions we don't want him to ask. You'll sleep in here like usual."

"Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't."

"Right. Uh, let me just…say goodnight to my…to Snow and David." Emma grimaced over her parents' names and ducked out of the room for a few minutes. Regina waited patiently for her return, and had prepared herself for the conversation they had both been avoiding all day. When she came back, Emma shut the door behind her and dug through 'her' drawer in Regina's dresser for her pajamas.

"I'm just going to…you know." She pointed at the bathroom, and Regina raised her brows.

"Of course." Trying to distract herself, Regina went back to reading, but found that she could not concentrate at all on the words. So she set the book aside and made herself comfortable. Emma did not take long, and soon, they found themselves sitting on opposite ends of the bed, staring at each other.

Finally, Emma cleared her throat and took a deep breath. "So. I uh…I kissed you today."

"Yes. You did." Regina shook her head, leaning forward. "I just…I need to know why."

"Why I kissed you?"

"Yes."

"I mean….there's usually just one reason why people kiss someone."

"I kissed Graham because I thought I could control him with sex," Regina began, noticing how Emma flinched at the former sheriff's name. "I kissed the king because it was expected of me, though he usually preferred to get straight to the _fucking_." Emma flinched again at Regina's language. She was not usually so prone to such harsh words. "I kissed Daniel because I….because I loved him. And that's it. Besides you, those are the only people I've ever kissed. So, yes. I do want to know why."

"It wasn't really a conscious decision," Emma said, resting her elbows on her knees. Her brows furrowed and she concentrated on a spot on Regina's carpet. "I just…I don't know. I just needed to. For a second, it was all I wanted. Because….because after everything we've been through, and all the shit we've put each other through, you're still the person I feel most comfortable with. Snow isn't Mary Margaret anymore. She's not my best friend. She's my mom. I never really knew David, and now he's trying to be a dad to me, and I don't need one of those. Sure, Granny and Ruby are pretty much the same, but now they look at me and they see the Savior. And you…." Emma gave her a very tired smile. "You still tell me shut up when I'm irritating you. And you don't expect me to be perfect. Hell, you expect me to be the farthest thing from perfect I can possibly get. But I also know that you kind of want the same thing. They all see the Evil Queen, and I never could quite get that persona to mesh with the person I know."

"Dear, in case you haven't heard, I _am_ the Evil Queen."

"Yeah, that's what your title was, but to me, you're just Regina. And I like you." Emma shrugged. "So I kissed you. And I thought….at the time I thought you wanted me to. I'm sorry that I was wrong because I didn't want to…to push myself on you. I didn't mean that."

"You like me."

"Yeah." She snorted and tossed her head to the side. "I like you, like you."

"What?"

"Nothing. Just something kids say in middle school." She sighed and flopped back on the bed. "I don't want things to be awkward between us, so can we just forget that it ever happened?"

"No."

"No? Oh, come on, Regina! Give me a break."

"I don't want to forget it happened," Regina said, the words tumbling from her mouth. "Because I don't wish that it hadn't happened."

Emma sat up, her head jerking around to face Regina. "What?"

"I was startled, that's true. I was not expecting it at all." Regina gathered her bravery and decided that she had lied to herself long enough. This was a chance for her, one she knew she could not let pass her by. Not if she wanted to be happy. "I don't…I don't react well to surprises, so I was perhaps a bit harsher with you than I intended."

"Wait, what are you saying?" Emma had turned to face her completely now, legs tucked under her. Regina wondered when they had become so comfortable in this routine.

"I may not….dislike you quite as much as I have led you to believe."

"So you like me."

"That is not what I said."

"No, I think it is." Emma grinned and pushed herself up the bed so that she was sitting next to Regina, propped against the pillows on what had become her side of the bed. "It's okay. You can say it."

"Miss Swan, do not push your luck," Regina warned, trying to drum up some irritation, but finding that her chest was filled mostly with affection.

"I think you should call me Emma now. Seeing as you like me and everything." Emma's grin fell, though, and she seemed to grow nervous. "So….what does this mean now? For us?"

Regina pushed her hair back from her face and shook her head. "I don't know. Today, Henry told me that he…well he liked it when you and I were cordial with each other. He said that it….that it made him feel like he had a real family." Much to her horror, her voice closed up over the words, her pain very apparent to the other woman. "He said that he wanted that."

"Okay, so….then what? We…we try to be a family? Because I like you, Regina, but I don't know if I'm ready…" Emma frowned, stopping herself and tilting her head in thought. "Who am I kidding? I'm already pretty damn dedicated to that kid, and Lord knows I could have given up on you a long time ago. Whatever is between the two of us, we already are a family, Regina. Us and that kid."

"And your parents," Regina sneered.

"Well, kind of. I mean….is it awful that I feel closer to you than I do to them?"

"I'd say that shows you just have good taste."

"And you're completely unbiased, of course."

"Of course." Regina felt the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, and she wondered how it was that Emma Swan could set her so at ease when for so long, she had set her on edge.

"So then...are we like…officially going to like be….girlfriends?" Emma's face scrunched up over the words, as though they felt awkward and strange to her.

"I don't think we really have to go with titles like that," Regina offered. "We're just….us. Whatever our relationship becomes."

"If you really think about it, we kind of did the whole thing backwards," Emma said with a snort. "It's like we started off as divorced parents, went through an awful custody battle, and now we're at the getting together stage. So yeah. I guess 'girlfriends' isn't really a strong enough word for whatever the hell it is we are."

"As Henry said. We're family." Regina nodded to herself.

"Okay. Family. And this means that we're together? Like, for real together?"

"I suppose so."

"Don't sound so enthusiastic," Emma muttered.

"If you hadn't noticed, personal relationships are not my strong suit, and they rarely work out in my favor," Regina reminded her.

"Yeah, I actually get that."

"I imagine you do."

"All right. But I have one more serious question."

Regina braced herself, going over all the possibilities in her head. "Yes?"

"How the hell do we still have electricity and running water?"

For a moment, all Regina could do was stare at Emma. "That's what you want to know?"

"Yeah. It's been bugging me. I mean, it shouldn't still be working, right? But this morning I got to take a hot shower, and Granny used an electric oven to make dinner. So how's that even work?"

"Emma, Storybrooke was created from a curse. It runs on magic. It always has." Regina waved her hand vaguely around, indicating the room. "This is all because of the curse, and I'm not exactly sure how it works, since you supposedly broke the curse. But I suspect that as long as there is magic here, the town will continue to sustain itself."

"That's pretty handy," Emma noted, pulling back the covers on her side and snuggling in. "Hey. I noticed earlier that you were pretty wobbly after using all that magic. What the hell was that, anyway, when I kissed you?"

"I don't know. It was like my magic was ripped from me." Regina slid under the covers as well, turning on her side to face Emma. "I'm still very drained from it, but my strength should return in a day or so."

"Can you, I don't know, take some from me?"

"What?"

"Can you take some of my magic? I mean, like how you did to make the wall around the house. Except this time you just keep it instead."

"I don't suppose there's any reason why I can't." Regina had never shared magic in such a way, but then again, there were many things Emma could do thanks to her status as the Savior and the product of true love.

"Okay then, here. Take it." Emma twined their fingers together, and Regina could feel the pulse of her magic right under the surface. So warm and inviting. So different from her own. Carefully, Regina pulled on it, taking just enough to ease the bone deep fatigue that had settled over her. She tried to ignore the rush of emotions that flooded her senses, and the pleasure that built in the pit of her stomach. The pull of Emma's magic was intoxicating, and Regina made herself let go when she had enough.

"Whoa," Emma breathed, eyes wide and searching. "Did you feel that, too?"

"Yes."

"What was that?"

"Magic, dear." Regina reached over and turned out her light, plunging the room into darkness. She blinked a few times until she could make out Emma's face in the shadows. "Now, I am very tired, and we're both going to have to get up in just a few hours. We'll have plenty of time to talk more later."

"Okay." Emma bit her lip, hesitating, before pressing a quick kiss to Regina's lips. "Good night."

Her mouth still tingling from Emma's kiss, Regina settled back against her pillows. "Yes. Good night."

Emma Swan continued to surprise her, and Regina was beginning to think that perhaps some surprises were not so bad after all.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN**: there's a trigger warning for talk of rape in this chapter, and also we get into a mature rating here.

* * *

Somehow, Regina expected everyone to notice the change in her relationship with Emma, but no one commented, though Snow gave her a few evil-eyes in the hallway. There was not sign on her forehead that read 'Regina Mills is in a relationship with Emma Swan.' No one treated her as though she were suddenly weak for having feelings for someone.

They fell into a routine. In the mornings, Regina rose and showered, letting Emma sleep a few extra minutes. Everyone took breakfast together and discussed plans for the day. Regina, Henry, and Archie played with Pongo in the yard. If they needed supplies, a team would be put together and sent out into town. In the afternoons, they all usually dispersed to their own corners of the house, and Regina took up tutoring Henry. She and Emma agreed that he needed to keep up his math and reading skills. It gave her something to do with her time, and her relationship with Henry grew more solid with each day. In the evenings, they had another group meal, and spent the couple of hours afterwards just talking, usually recounting stories about the Enchanted Forest to entertain Henry.

And then, she and Emma would retire to their room (she had stopped thinking of it as just hers). Sometimes they went straight to bed, and sometimes they talked, and sometimes….well, sometimes Regina found that she enjoyed kissing Emma. They moved slowly, as they both found that they had road blocks up along the way. Regina was closed off emotionally, and Emma had to hold herself back in the physical relationship, though she never ever made Regina feel pressured.

"Henry told me that you two are moving on to pre-algebra," Emma said as she nuzzled Regina's neck, her lips brushing over the sensitive skin. Her arms were snaked around the older woman, and Regina's breath was quickening as Emma's hands ghosted over her.

"Mhm. I have to admit, I am struggling." She tilted her head back to give Emma more access. "Math was not exactly my mother's priority to teach me. It was more about the proper way to curtsey and which fork to use at a royal dinner."

"Well, I'm sure you're doing a hell of a lot better than I would." Emma angled herself over Regina, kissing down the exposed skin of Regina's chest, stopping when she met the fabric of the pajamas. "I slept through most of my math classes."

"How surprising," Regina quipped, but her voice shuddered as Emma nipped at her collarbone. This was as far as they had gone, and Regina was starting to wonder when Emma would push for more. With her previous two partners (if either of them could even be called as such), Regina had never had this period of growth in the physical relationship. It had been straight to sex. She was starting to feel anxious the longer they went without Emma suggesting that they go farther.

"Hey, I bet I still know more than David." Emma grinned down at her. "He's a shepherd."

"He was also implanted with fake curse memories," Regina reminded her, a hand resting on the back of Emma's neck. "Which included completing high school."

"Whatever. Let's not talk about my parents right now because you look so freaking pretty." Emma tossed her hair so that it was out of her face and over one shoulder.

"Emma." She shook her head, unable to voice her thoughts. But Emma seemed to understand anyway. She gave a small smile and dropped back onto her side, snuggling close to Regina.

"We'll be ready when we're ready," Emma said, dropping a kiss to Regina's shoulder.

"You mean I'll be ready when I'm ready." Regina did not know why it bothered her so much this particular night. Normally, she and Emma would kiss and caress and nuzzle for a while before bed, and it would end naturally with them drifting off to sleep.

"Regina, it's fine." Emma cupped her cheek. "Yeah, I'd love to have sex with you. You're so beautiful, and I'm way better at showing affection physically than with words. I mean, you know how bad I am with words." That earned her a small snort from Regina. "But if we go into it too soon, it will all just get fucked up, and we have Henry to think about. It's not like we could just break up and never have to see each other again. It's not exactly a normal situation."

"I suppose that's true." Regina sighed and rested her head on Emma's shoulder.

"It's late. We should get some sleep because I promised Henry that tomorrow we'd all learn to play baseball together."

"There's no way I'm-"

"It's for Henry."

"Emma."

"Regina."

"You owe me."

Emma grinned and leaned over Regina to turn off the light. "I'm sure I'll find a way to make it up to you." She pulled Regina against her, settling into the positions they had taken to sleeping in with Regina's back pressed to Emma's front. Regina found that she slept better that way than she ever had before.

The baseball game mostly comprised of Emma yelling at everyone in frustration, Henry giggling, and Regina casting disdainful looks at her fellow players. It lasted for about an hour before they finally gave up after David hit the ball over the wall and Regina refused to conjure up a new one for them. It had been an hour, however, where they could all forget about what was going on around them, what was happening to the world. It was an hour where Regina felt like she was surrounded by people who might actually like her. All but Snow and David, at least. Emma's parents were civil to her, and she made an effort to return the favor for Emma and Henry's sakes. Regina know, however, that they would never be friends.

It was fine, though, because she was learning that Granny had a delightfully sharp wit, and Red had a willpower to match Regina's own, and Archie was always an open ear. The more time she spent with them the more she discovered that she might actually like them as people. That she might actually enjoy spending time with them.

And then, of course there was Emma. Regina knew that her feelings for Emma were growing with each day. She knew that she could no longer imagine her life without Emma. And that thought no longer scared her. Once, she was frightened that Emma would take Henry away from her. Now, she was frightened that she would do something to push them both away. People never stuck around for her. They always left, one way or another. Being someone she cared about was dangerous.

These thoughts plagued her when they went to bed that night, and Emma picked up on them immediately.

"So, you gonna tell me what's been bothering you?" she asked as she slipped under the covers.

"It's nothing."

"Bullshit."

"Emma, please." Regina looked away, frustrated and vulnerable.

"Whatever this is, it's eating you up, and I know how dangerous unresolved issues can be." Emma reached over and took Regina's hand, squeezing it gently. "You have to know that there's no judgment here. After everything that's happened, you know I'll never condemn you for how you're feeling."

"It's not that," Regina sighed. "I just…I don't want to hurt you."

"It's going to happen. Sometimes people who care about each other hurt each other, and they have to learn how to move on and try to do better in the future."

"No, I mean….Daniel loved me and he died. My father loved me, and I killed him. My mother died right after she gained the ability to love me. It…All the people I care about get hurt."

"Hey," Emma said softly, propping herself up on her elbows. "That's not going to happen."

"You don't know that."

"Okay, I don't. But I promise you, I'm not leaving you. Not if I can help it." She kissed Regina, their bodies pressed together. "You're stuck with me, like it or not. You're never going to be alone again."

For a moment, Regina felt overwhelmed, her heart crying out for something more. "Emma, please."

"What do you want?"

"I want…I want you." Regina swallowed, looking up into blazing green eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Please."

Emma nodded and drew Regina into another kiss, her hands smoothing up the older woman's chest, over the swells of her breasts. Regina moaned into her mouth and arched her back. She suddenly wanted this so badly, more than she thought she could want sex. With Leopold, it had been a horrific duty she had detached herself from in order to survive. With Graham, it had been a tool of control, something she did not put her emotions into. But with Emma, she felt as though every cell in her body was straining to be bonded with Emma. Her magic called out to the white magic in the Savior's veins.

She bared herself to Emma, allowing the other woman to gently pull her pajama top over her head, exposing her chest.

"So beautiful," Emma breathed, leaning down to kiss between Regina's breasts, then to kiss their swells. Regina gasped as she took a nipple in her mouth, her tongue swirling around it. She had never felt like this before. She had no idea it could feel like this, and Emma had not even fully undressed her yet. Emma settled herself between Regina's legs, and let her tongue trail over Regina's chest. She moved slowly, giving every inch of Regina's skin her undivided attention. The former queen tangled her hands in Emma's hair, letting out soft, shuddering breaths as she tried to keep her composure.

"Emma…"

"I have been wanting to do this forever," Emma said, moving back up to capture Regina's lips. "Probably since the day we met."

"That long?"

"Yeah. I knew it was only a matter of time."

"But…I was a woman."

Emma pulled back slightly and looked at her curiously. "I'm pretty sure that you still are."

"That never bothered you?" Regina had thought that Emma had grown into her attraction based on limited choices and confined quarters.

"I've been with as many women as I have men, Regina." Emma rested her weight on her hands, looking down at Regina. "It makes no difference to me."

"That concept is…not really one that we have in the Enchanted Forest. Those of us who had leanings toward the same sex…well, we learned to suppress it and live our lives by social norms."

"So you've never been with a woman."

"Emma, I've only ever been with two people."

"Right. Graham and the king." Emma hardly ever used Leopold's name. She liked to distance herself from the grandfather that took a young girl as his bride so that his daughter would have a glorified babysitter.

Emma's brows furrowed, and she sat back up, frowning. "In Henry's book, the Evil Queen basically made the Huntsman into some sort of…of sex slave. But…"

Sighing, Regina let her head fall back against the pillows. "It wasn't as dramatic as all that. He served me in many ways, not just that one."

"He…." Emma's eyes widened and her face contorted into something akin to horror. "Oh my God. You raped him." She scrambled off of Regina, backing up to the end of the bed. "I…thought the book was just…just embellishing, that you just manipulated him, but you actually forced him to have sex with you."

Bristling, Regina sat up, clutching the sheets to her chest. "That's hardly the worst thing I've ever done. Need I remind you, I also killed him."

"Yeah, I remember," Emma barked. "Fuck, Regina. Jesus Christ."

"If you can't handle what I've done, then there's no point in this going any farther." Regina's anger welled up inside her. She had been prepared to give herself to Emma, to open herself up and be as vulnerable as she had ever been with another person. And Emma had responded with an attack.

"You know, sometimes I actually forget that you've done that kind of stuff." Emma stood and began pacing the room. "Like, I can pretend it was someone else. Because it's really hard to feel this way about you and also know what kind of things you did."

"You knew going into this exactly who I am," Regina hissed, snatching up her shirt from where it lay crumpled on the floor. She yanked it over her head.

"I know! I know that!" Emma pulled on her robe and stood with her arms crossed at the foot of the bed. "I just…I didn't expect it to….I need some space. I'm going to go sleep on the couch."

"Henry will-"

"Henry will deal with it."

"So you're just going to leave it at that?" Regina's voice shook, and she hated how her heart clenched.

"No. I'm going to sleep on the couch because I'm really angry and upset and pissed off right now," Emma said, "and I'm going to say things that will make it worse, and I feel….God, I feel like I'm being torn in two." She pressed a hand to her chest, and Regina felt a pang of anguish rip through her own heart. "Do you feel that, too?"

"Yes."

"What the hell is that?"

"I…Magic. Our magic has….has mixed, I think." Regina stood carefully, approaching Emma slowly.

"Like, we're connected? Like…Shit, like I can feel your emotions now?" Emma took a step back, and Regina stopped walking, leaving space between them. "I don't…I can't have…..I'm barely keeping myself together as it is! I can't deal with your emotions, too!"

"I don't know exactly how it works," Regina said, her earlier anger fading in the face of Emma's panic. She tried to keep herself calm. One of them had to be. "We…we've shared magic much more than people usually do. And you're the Savior as it is. Magic…works differently here."

"Is that why I feel the way I do about you?" Emma looked at her wildly. "Do I like you because of this…this connection? Is that why I feel drawn to you despite everything you've done?"

"No, dear," Regina ground out, hurt welling in her gut at Emma's words. "You're emotions are all your own. Sorry to disappoint you."

"Fuck." Emma covered her face with her hand. "That's not…I didn't mean for it to sound that way. This is what I meant. I need to go so that I don't make this worse. I need to go. We'll talk about it tomorrow when I've cooled down. I…I told you before that I wasn't leaving you, and I'm not. I just need…space." She shook her head and slipped into the hallway, leaving Regina alone, feeling like she had been punched in the gut. Frustration and pain overwhelming her, Regina curled up on the bed and did her best not to let her emotions overtake her. She was so very tired of crying herself to sleep. She had already had enough of that to last her three lifetimes.

To her displeasure, the bed felt very empty without Emma, and Regina slept poorly, putting her in a foul mood the next morning. Which was not improved when she went down for breakfast and everyone else was already aware that she and Emma had slept in separate rooms. Henry looked like he wanted to ask about it, but Red elbowed him in the side when he opened him mouth to ask.

Glowering, Regina marched into the kitchen to assist Granny.

"You two aren't fooling anyone," the older woman said to her, standing over a pan full of eggs.

"Excuse me?"

"You and Emma. We all know there's something going on." Granny turned to face her, expression softening slightly. "I heard her stomp downstairs last night, and she was still asleep on the couch when I got up for the early watch. You can deny it until you're blue in the face, but I've lived a lot longer than any of you, and I know what that means."

"Miss Swan and I had a disagreement. Nothing more." Regina pushed her shoulders back and held her head high. It was a pose she had adopted as the Queen and perfect as Mayor. And Granny saw right through it.

"When Red's grandfather was still alive, we fought like cats and dogs. But I loved him." Granny turned back to the stove. "I always said, I'd rather be fighting with him than be spoiled rotten by anyone else."

"I don't love Miss Swan."

"Maybe not, but you do care for her. Could you get out the plates?"

Huffing, Regina did as she was told. She had found that Granny was even more demanding in the kitchen than she was. "I care that Henry loves her."

"Play with semantics all you want," Granny continued, pouring the eggs onto a serving plate. "But I know better. And I have to say, Your Majesty, I like you a lot better this way." And she walked out of the kitchen, leaving Regina pondering her words.

Emma did not show up for breakfast, and Snow kept sending Regina dirty looks, like she knew exactly what was going on. At the very least, Red took pity on Regina and challenged Snow and David to a game of Gin Rummy with her and Henry, leaving Regina with Archie and Granny. She quickly excused herself under the guise of taking Pongo out to the yard to take care of business.

She sat out on the back steps, watching the dog sniff around in the grass, barking after chipmunks and birds. How she envied him, so carefree and happy. All was right in his world. He had his people around him, and he got constant attention. No one doubted him, no one held it against him if he had an accident in the house. His mistakes did not follow him for the rest of his life.

"Hey."

She nearly jumped out of her skin as Emma plopped down next to her.

"Miss Swan."

"Please, let's not go back to that." She leaned forward on her elbows and watched Pongo. "I've been thinking a lot. I didn't mean…Last night, I shouldn't have walked out like that. But it's hard for me. I…" She let out a short breath through her nose. "I was eighteen when I had Henry. A kid. I wasn't ready at all, so I gave him up."

"When I was eighteen," Regina answered, staring resolutely forward, "my mother killed the man I loved right in front of me and then sold me off to a man three times my age to play nursemaid to his daughter and be his bed warmer."

"Jesus, Regina. It's not a competition." Emma's eyes squeezed shut for a moment. "What I meant was that I gave him up because I wanted him to have the best chance he could. So that he could have a better chance than I ever did. I never…I never expected to see him again." She turned to look at Regina. "And then he showed up on my door, and my entire world was sent into a tailspin. Suddenly, there were people who depended on me, and there was this kid and I started to love him. And I was drawn to his mother even though she was the most infuriating person I had ever met. And for the first time in my life, I had a best friend." Pongo ran up and greeted Emma briefly before running off again.

"Then suddenly, my best friend was my mother, and I was the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming and this woman who I was having all these intensely weird feelings for was the Evil Queen and it was all so confusing. I've had absolutely no time to process. None. It's just been one thing after another, and now this zombie thing.

"I know that you aren't who you were in the Enchanted Forest. I know that you don't do those things anymore. You've changed. I just…sometimes it's going to be hard for me to deal with it all." Carefully, she reached over to take Regina's hand. "We can't be so caught up in the past that we don't allow ourselves a future."

"When did you get so philosophical?"

"Somewhere around two o'clock this morning when I realized that I couldn't sleep without you. As angry as I was, you were still the first person I wanted to seek comfort from. Not Snow, not Ruby, not Archie. You."

"I can't change what I've done."

"I know."

"And I can't apologize for it."

"Don't you feel any remorse? Any at all?"

"I can't." Regina looked down at their joined hands. "If I let myself feel all the remorse and regret for the things I've done, then I would completely lose myself. It would destroy me. This is how I've survived. It's the only way I know how, and I can't start….feeling things now. However, I can be sorry that it hurt you. That it hurt Henry."

"Well, that's a start."

"You talk about how you haven't had a chance to process all of this. Imagine that being your entire life." Regina let her free arm wrap around herself. "Imagine your entire life spiraling out of your control, and then one day, you discover how to take back that control, and it's with vengeance and anger. And you hate what you've become, but it was your only choice if you wanted to survive. Imagine all of that, and then imagine learning that even that wasn't your choice. That someone had engineered your whole life to fit what they needed you to be. Even your son was brought to you by design, not by chance. This man had made you into who you are with the sole purpose of destroying everything you had worked for. That's what my life has been.

"I can't allow myself to wallow in my regrets. I know what horrors I have committed, but at the times, they were the only options I could see. What happened with Graham is one of the few things I do regret. If I could go back and change it, I would. But I can't."

"I want to work through this." Emma slid an arm around Regina's shoulders and pulled her close. "I want to learn how to….how to be able to get past all of that."

"I thought you already were past it," Regina said. "You told me that you would never judge me."

"I know. Turns out I'm not so perfect, either." She gave Regina a half smile. "I think my mother wants to give you the 'if you ever hurt my daughter, I'll kill you' talk."

"You told her?"

"No. She guessed, and I wasn't really in a position to deny it last night."

"Well, that explains why she looked like she wanted to murder me at breakfast."

"I think we should tell Henry," Emma continued. "He should know. It's…I think this is serious enough that he should be aware."

"I suppose that's true."

"I don't want to lie to him anymore."

"Neither do I. But, maybe if we could wait until tomorrow." She wanted to have full control of herself and her emotions before trying to explain anything to Henry.

"Yeah, okay. Maybe tonight we could…try again? I won't freak out, I promise." Emma's eyes raked up her form, and Regina shuddered under the gaze.

"We could try."

"Snow wants to talk to us sometime."

"Must we?"

"I think so." Emma bit her lip. "She was almost in tears last night, but I made her promise to be civil if she wanted to talk to you."

"How considerate."

"I try."

"May we put that off until tomorrow, too?"

"That'd be fine with me." She led Regina back inside, and the rest of the day passed as normal, with Snow watching them closely, and Granny raising a brow knowingly when Emma sat next to Regina at dinner. No one said anything, but Regina knew that they were all aware. Red could barely keep herself from making inappropriate jokes, and Archie stumbled over his words when he asked how they were. And Charming looked like he had almost figured out a puzzle, but the pieces would not quite fit together how he wanted. That part, at least, amused Regina. It entertained her enough that she was able to relax the rest of the day, only growing nervous once she and Emma were alone in their room that evening.

They went about their usual routine, and Regina waited patiently on the bed while Emma stripped down to her underwear. She paused and turned to look at Regina.

"Are we going to do this?" It was not the most romantic proposal, but Regina appreciated that it was an honest communication. So many of her personal relationships were built on lies and manipulation. Emma was something fresh, something different.

"Yes."

Emma knelt on the bed, kissing Regina and pushing her back against the pillows. Her hands brushed up against Regina's breasts, earning a moan from the older woman. Slowly, Emma unbuttoned Regina's shirt, her fingers leaving sparks where their skin came into contact. She leaned down and let her mouth trail down after her hands. Carefully, she reached around and unhooked Regina's bra, tossing it off to the side. Emma took a moment to look Regina up and down, her eyes soft, mouth quirked up at the corner.

"You really are beautiful."

Regina could not answer because all she could do was close her eyes and bite her lip as Emma's mouth closed around her nipple. Her nerve endings felt raw and exposed, and she gripped Emma's hair tightly in one hand, the other wrapped up in the sheets. She groaned softly, looking down to see Emma kissing her way down her stomach, stopping at the waistband of her pants.

"You sure?"

"Yes." Somehow, she felt more exposed than she ever had before. It was different, baring herself to Emma like this. Different than it was being with Graham or Leopold. For the first time, she was with someone who legitimately cared for her.

Emma's hair tickled her as the other woman bent her head down as she unbuttoned Regina's pants and gently pulled them down the older woman's legs. Now all that separated them was Regina's underwear. Emma hooked her fingers under the band, and Regina took a deep breath, trying to push down the vulnerability that welled inside her. Pausing for only a moment, Emma placed a kiss on her hipbone before pulling down Regina's underwear. She smiled and gave a small little laugh.

"What?"

"You're natural down here."

"I don't understand."

"You're such a stickler for order that I kind of expected it all to be shaved or something." Emma grinned up at her, and Regina glared, not liking how insecure she felt.

"Where I'm from, that's not something people do." She shifted uncomfortably, and Emma kissed right below her navel.

"Regina, I was just surprised. That's all. I don't care what you do down there." Emma lowered her head again, and Regina's eyes widened in surprise as she felt a hot tongue against her sex.

"What the hell are you doing?" she demanded, her body flinching back. Emma looked at her with confusion.

"I was about to fuck you."

"With your mouth?"

"Uh…yeah." She propped herself up on her elbows. "Is that not okay?"

"I never….I didn't know that…" Regina swallowed, looking away. She hated how inexperienced she felt. "I thought you would just…use your hands or…or something."

"I can if you'd prefer that." Emma ran a finger up Regina's sex, pressing lightly on her clit. Regina's hips bucked against the hand. "Just tell me what you want, and let me know what you don't like. The first time might not be the absolute greatest, but it's a learning experience. You learning what good sex actually is."

"Someone is sure of herself," Regina quipped, growing a bit more confident and comfortable.

"It's just facts," Emma shrugged, letting her finger slip inside Regina. "Just like it's a fact that I have a very flexible tongue, if you want to try it out." Regina shuddered, her brain fogging up as Emma slid another finger inside her.

"Please just…God, Emma…"

"I'll take that as a yes." Emma nestled between Regina's legs and let her tongue delve inside Regina. Gently, she gripped the older woman's hips, holding them down as she nipped and sucked at Regina. Her finger continued to dance around her tongue, working to bring Regina to the edge. "Is this all right?"

"Yes….I….maybe a bit….softer….and to the…right," Regina gasped out, and Emma complied immediately, and Regina let a moan escape her lips. Emma hoisted Regina's legs over her shoulders, and switched her hand and her mouth so that her tongue was teasing Regina's clit and her fingers were stroking Regina's inner walls. Regina let herself go, losing herself in the sensations, letting Emma's touch consume her. Her entire life, she had only ever thought about sex as something that was used to control people, to manipulate them. It was never about sharing emotions and mutual feelings. Emma was shattering her notions of what it could be, what it should be.

Never before has she understood the phrase 'making love.' She had only ever fucked and been fucked. She had never felt this safe while being so completely vulnerable, and she knew that she was probably falling hard for Emma Swan. It was something she would have to ponder more later because Emma pressed her tongue down on Regina's clit and crooked her fingers just so and Regina bowed up in her release, her legs tightening around Emma's head before she relaxed, boneless, against the bed.

Slowly, Emma kissed her way back up Regina's body, capturing her lips and pressing herself against Regina.

"So how was that?"

Catching her breath, Regina ran her hands through Emma's hair. "It was….adequate." Gasping in fake surprise, Emma gave Regina a light smack on the shoulder.

"Then I guess I'll just have to try harder next time." She grinned and rolled onto her side, kissing Regina's shoulder.

"I…I won't be as….I don't know how…" Ever the perfectionist, Regina was embarrassed that she had no idea what to do for Emma.

"Don't overthink it," Emma said, a hand reaching out to trace Regina's breast. "Just… go with what you think you'd like, and I'll direct you."

"I'm a queen," Regina reminded her, flipping them over so that she was straddling Emma. "I take orders from no one."

"Of course, Your Majesty." Emma leaned up and pulled Regina into a kiss. Regina had never unclasped someone else's bra, but she was able to get Emma's off after only a couple of tries. She took a moment to admire what was underneath, letting her hand trail down between Emma's breasts. She had never held another woman's breast in her hand, and the weight felt foreign, but wonderful. She kneaded each one in turn, delighting in how Emma arched into her hands.

"Fuck," Emma groaned, her hand splayed across Regina's shoulder blade. Her moans encouraged Regina to press open mouthed kisses to Emma's chest, her nose pressed against the younger woman's sternum. Gathering her courage, she moved down to Emma's hips, pulling down her underwear.

"So you _do_ shave?" she asked, nudging Emma's legs apart.

"Yeah. But we can totally discuss grooming habits later, okay?" Emma angled her hips up, and Regina took the invitation to hesitantly cup her sex. She marveled at how hot and slick Emma was, and how she clenched around her fingers. She knew that she was fumbling her way through this, and that she had a lot to learn. But Emma talked her through it, guiding her hands and eventually her mouth, praising her and making Regina feel at ease.

Regina was pleased when Emma tightened around her, arched and groaning out Regina's name.

"You can stop now," she panted, gently pushing Regina's head away from her center. "Not bad at all. Fuck, it has been a long time. I needed that." She smiled as Regina lay down next to her. "You okay?"

"I'm…yes." Regina smiled at her, letting her head rest on Emma's shoulder. "I'm very much okay. Thank you."

"Fantastic, because I am really looking forward to doing that again." She tucked Regina under her chin, and Regina found that she quite liked it there, with her bare skin pressed against Emma's. Her eyes drooped and she snuggled closer to Emma, drifting off to sleep. She swore it had only been five minutes when she felt a shock rock through her limbs. Confused, she sat up, noting that the moon was high and Emma was fast asleep next to her. She tilted her head, concentrating on her magic, which pulsed with another shockwave.

She bent over, groaning and clutching her stomach. Beside her, Emma grunted and pushed herself up.

"Regina?"

"The wall," Regina gasped. "Something's trying to breach the wall."


	10. Chapter 10

**AN**: i like the first half of this chapter, but idk about the second half.

* * *

Another spasm tore through her, and Regina bit back a whimper. When she had engineered the wall around the house to have an alarm system, she had tied it back to her own magic. She had not realized it would hurt her like this.

"Regina?" Emma placed a hand on her arm and quickly drew back as the pain jumped between them. "Oh my God, why is that happening?"

"Something is trying to get through the wall," Regina repeated, gritting her teeth. "I fear I may have miscalculated the strength of the alarm spell."

"Okay. Shit, we need to get down there." Emma pulled on the tank top and pair of boxers she usually slept in, and gently pulled Regina's robe over the shuddering woman. "Can you walk?"

"I'll manage," Regina growled, arm wrapped around her middle, pressing against her stomach. Downstairs, they heard Pongo start barking.

"Yeah, you're not going anywhere on your own." Emma grimaced as she touched Regina, sliding the older woman's arm over her should and slipping her free hand around Regina's waist.

"Miss Swan, this is highly unnecessary," Regina snapped, though it came out more as a pained whimper.

"Uh huh, I can see that," came the grunted reply. Emma shouldered the door open, and they limped through. Down the hall, Henry stuck his head out of his room.

"Moms?"

"Henry, get back in your room," Regina commanded. Henry looked uncertain.

"I heard Pongo barking. What's going on?"

"Henry, now!" She rarely raised her voice to him in such a manner, but she was in more than a little pain and quite afraid of what was waiting for them outside. Henry's eyes widened, and he looked to Emma.

"Kid, listen to your mom." Her voice was strained, too, and Regina knew that she was taking some of the pain for herself. Henry, for once, did as he was told and retreated back inside his room. Emma's arm wrapped tighter around Regina, and they carefully took the stairs, Granny and Red right behind them, both dressed in their night clothes. Snow and Charming were on watch.

"What's going on?" Red asked. "Pongo's barks are really anxious."

"Yeah, and Her Majesty doesn't look so hot, either," Granny added, her eyes flitting over Regina, who remembered that she had absolutely nothing on under her robe. She really wished that she had taken the time to get dressed.

"Something is trying to get through the wall," Regina explained, leaning heavily on Emma. "I tied my magic to the alarm, and it seems as though I overestimated the strength needed." Emma helped her outside where Snow, Charming, Archie, and Pongo were pacing in front of a section of the wall.

"It's too high," Charming was saying. Regina could hear the unmistakable sound of dozens of undead bodies moving on the other side and a rhythmic thudding against the wall. "I don't think I can climb to the top." He had to shout over Pongo's barks, gesturing wildly to get his point across.

"Emma, get me to the wall, and I'll see what's on the other side," Regina said. Emma nodded and without warning hoisted Regina over her shoulder. "Miss Swan! How dare you! Put me down this instant!"

"No can do," Emma said, a hand pressed to Regina's ass to keep her balanced and also to keep her robe from sliding up. "This is the quickest way." Regina kept up a steady string of protests and insults as Emma carried her to where the others were waiting. Despite the situation, Snow still managed to give Regina and Emma a disapproving glare, her eyes lingering on Regina's state of dress. Gingerly, Emma set Regina down, steadying her until she got her feet under her again. Through the pain and the constant pull of magic from the wall, Regina was not sure if she could perform the spell needed to see what was threatening them.

"Emma, I…May I…"

"Oh, yeah, yeah. Take whatever you need." Emma grasped Regina's hand tightly, and Regina felt the currents of magic beneath her skin. It was starting to become a habit for them, and Regina did wonder if it was having unforeseen consequences. Like how she could practically feel the concern rolling off Emma. Concern and something deeper. Regina shook it off and drew on Emma's magic, waving her hand in front of the wall. Slowly, it cleared, and they could see through.

On the opposite side, a small group of people were huddled under a shimmering dome of fairy magic, banging on the wall. The fairy providing the magic was also throwing spells frantically at the wall. Regina could tell that they would soon be overwhelmed by the growing horde of zombies.

"Oh my God," Snow breathed. "That's Nova. And Grumpy!"

"And Kathryn and Frederick," Charming added. "And…who's that other dwarf?"

"It's Sleepy," Archie answered.

"What they hell are they doing?" Emma asked, looking back at Regina.

"Trying not to die, I believe," Regina replied. "Should I let them in?" The question was directed at Snow and Charming.

"Of course!" they answered together.

"We left the fairies on less than amicable terms," Regina reminded them.

"That's Kathryn out there," Charming said. "Do you really think she'd be in on some plot to come attack us?"

"Willingly? No." Regina grimaced against the growing pain. They needed to make a decision soon about what to do. She did not know how much longer she could take this. "But I believe that Blue is not above using her to get to you. Or me. Or whoever the hell she has a problem with at the moment."

"We can't let them die," Charming said firmly. "Let them in, and we'll figure it out later."

"Fine." Regina drew from Emma, knowing that the other woman had vast stores of magic, and dissolved enough of the wall for the five refugees to slip through. They looked up in surprise as their escape route was presented to them, hesitating. "For God's sake, I can't keep it up forever! Hurry up!" Regina snapped. That sent them into action, and Grumpy pushed Sleepy, Kathryn, and Frederick in before him, looking back at Nova. She nodded to him, and he slipped through the opening. The fairy followed, the shield she had been keeping up disappearing as she stepped through the wall. Regina acted quickly, replacing the missing segment as soon as everyone was safely through. Then she slumped against Emma as the pain finally dissipated.

"Hey, you okay?" Emma asked quietly. She was able to stand straight and fully support Regina now that the spell was no longer pulling on their strength.

"I'll live." The newcomers were looking at her strangely, but Regina just glanced up at Emma. "I need to…tweak the alarm spell."

"What can I do?"

"Just…" _Be there. Stay with me_. "Make sure I don't fall over. I'm feeling…a bit unsteady."

"No kidding." Emma tightened her arm around Regina's waist while the older woman did what she needed to make sure that a threat to the wall would not result in her incapacitation. When she was done, she nodded to Emma. "Nope. I'm not letting go of you until I'm sure you're not going to keel over."

Regina grunted, scowling, but let Emma support her.

"Regina!" They both turned at Snow's voice to see her bent over Sleepy. "He's been bitten."

Kathryn turned wide, round eyes on Regina. "You helped Snow. Can you help him?"

"How long?" Regina could have pointed out that she had even less reason to save a dwarf than she did Snow, but she found that the urge to do so only lasted for a few seconds.

"Twenty minutes," Frederick said, his arm around Kathryn's shoulder. Regina felt a pang of guilt that she had kept them apart for so long.

"I was able to get to Snow immediately," Regina said. "I don't know if there will be anything I can do for him."

"You better damn well try, witch," Grumpy snarled. Even in her weakened state, Regina drew herself up as tall as she could and sneered right back at him.

"And you'll remember that you're addressing a queen," she spat. "Watch your tongue, or you may find that it no longer resides in your filthy mouth."

"Bring it on."

Regina could feel the magic crackling at her fingertips, augmented by her connection to Emma, and she was so very close to hurling a fireball at the dwarf when a warm, gentle hand closed around her wrist.

"Regina, please." Emma's green eyes were soft and pleading. "Just try."

"Fine." Despite her brave words to Grumpy, Regina did not feel as though she could even walk over to Sleepy unassisted. Emma noticed her hesitation and gave her a little nudge, sticking with her the whole way. She helped Regina lean down next to the dwarf. His coloring was pale and wan. She knew immediately that there was nothing she could do for him. But she would try anyway. As she had done with Snow, Regina stretched her hand over the wound, which was on his shoulder, and concentrated on the oily feel of the virus under her magic. It was everywhere, clinging to his blood and working its way into his tissues. She looked back at Emma and shook her head.

"Shit."

"What?" Grumpy frowned at them, turning an ugly glare to Regina. "What?"

"It's….the virus has spread too much. I can't do anything."

"You didn't even try!" He looked very close to physically assaulting Regina, and she growled a little at him.

"I was only just able to pull the virus from Snow, and it was only because I was able to get to her seconds after she was bitten," Regina explained. "It wouldn't matter how much magic I had, I wouldn't be able to reverse the process here. And I am not exactly in top form at the moment."

"You bitch! You're not even going to try! Kathryn said you could help him, but I knew better," Grumpy sneered. "You'll never change."

Regina had heard much worse in her life, but the words struck against that ever present rift of pain in her heart. She could feel her anger flaring, but before she could open her mouth, someone else came to her defense.

"Watch it," Emma snapped. "Regina is doing the best she can, and she would fix it if she could. But she can't." Her face softened, and she turned to Sleepy. "I'm so sorry." Regina felt Emma's sadness through their touching skin. She focused on the feeling, on Emma's emotions as the others talked, tried to console Sleepy, tried to talk Grumpy down from his growing anger, tried to figure out what to do. Regina tuned it all out, her fingers wrapping around Emma's. Her strength was slowly returning, but her legs still shook beneath her. Dimly, she was aware that the others were moving toward the house, and she looked up to see Emma looking at her expectantly.

"You ready to go back inside?"

"What are they going to do about Sleepy?" Regina glanced around Emma to see Snow and Charming helping the dwarf into the house. "If he turns….Henry is inside."

"They're going to do what has to be done," Emma said coolly. "They just…need to talk about things." She shook her head as if to clear it. "Do you need help getting inside?"

"I….probably."

"So, over the shoulder or bridal style?"

"Neither. I'll walk." Regina took a stubborn step forward, and nearly fell over as her leg buckled beneath her. Emma caught her, and raised a brow.

"Yeah I see that."

"Shut up."

"Okay. Just lean on me." Slowly, they made their way back to the house where the rest of their group as heatedly discussing their next course of action. To Regina's displeasure, Henry had come downstairs and was standing between Red and Archie outside the study. The door to that room was shut, and Regina could hear Snow, Charming, and Grumpy's muffled voices.

"Mom? Are you okay?" Henry asked when he caught sight of her.

"I'm fine, sweetheart. Just tired." She pushed herself off of Emma, swaying slightly but managing to keep her feet. Emma's hand stayed on her back, though, keeping her steady. "I used a lot of magic tonight."

"Gramps said that Sleepy got bit and…and that he's…." Henry's brows furrowed, and he shook his head. "He's going to die."

"I'm sorry, Henry." Regina sagged under the weight of the sorrow in his eyes, and Emma's hand pressed more firmly against her.

"Henry," the younger woman began, "you know your mom and I will protect you no matter what, right?"

"I know. It's not me I'm worried about." He bit his lip, then threw his arms around both his mothers.

"Oh sweetheart," Regina breathed, dipping her head down to kiss the crown of his head. She thought momentarily of trying to quell his fears, but everything she thought to say ended up sounding flat and hollow in her head. "Why don't you go back to bed? We'll talk in the morning." Regina did not want Henry to be around whenever the Charmings did what needed to be done with Sleepy.

"But Mom! We have to talk about why Princess Abigail and the others are here!" At the prospect of a new mystery, Henry was bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"We will," Regina promised. "But you need sleep. And they have had a very hard night. It would probably be best for all of us if we waited until morning to have this discussion."

"Yeah, kid, and your mom needs sleep, too," Emma said.

"I'm fine," Regina snapped, though it lacked conviction when she swayed on her feet.

"Okay, bedtime for both the Mills." Emma pointed up the stairs. "Go, Henry. I promise we'll wake you if anything happens." She raised a brow pointedly until he grumbled and stomped up to his room. "You, too, Madame Mayor."

"There're more pressing matters," Regina protested. "Like what to do with the four new people who need somewhere to sleep. I'm out of spare rooms."

"But there are five-" Emma winced and shook her head. "I've already got that covered. There's room in the basement, right?"

"The basement is unfinished," Regina reminded her, aware of her fatigue and the fact that she was still in her robe with the Lucas's and Archie as an audience.

"It will do for now, and when you're all rested up, we can fix it up together."

"I'm not some endless supply of magic you can use for whatever task you need at the moment," Regina growled, surprising Archie enough that he took a step forward before thinking better of it. Granny ushered him and Red into the kitchen while Emma turned to face Regina, keeping a hand on her waist, ever aware of the older woman's shaking legs.

"Hey, I know." Emma dipped her head slightly to look in Regina's eyes. "I would do it myself and not keep asking you, but I don't know how the hell to control it. I'm going to take you up to bed now, and then I'm going to go down to the basement and fix it up enough for them to sleep tonight. And tomorrow you are going to start teaching me how to use this magic crap so that I don't have to keep asking you." Emma leaned in and pressed her lips to Regina's brow. "I know that people are hard for you."

Regina pulled away slightly. She would not turn to a pile of mush just because she and Emma were beginning to find steady ground in their relationship. She would not turn into some simpering mess because Emma already knew her so well.

"I will deal with it." She took a faltering step toward the stairs, nodding to herself when she was able to do so unassisted.

"Regina-"

"As you said, I need to sleep and regain my strength. Try not to wake me when you come to bed." Slowly, she made her way up the staircase, leaning heavily on the railing. She knew that Emma watched her the entire way up, but she did not look back. Her strength lasted long enough for her to push back the covers and slip into bed before she gave in to sleep.

The sun was bright through her curtains when she finally woke, alone, and she knew immediately that it was much later in the day than she would have liked. A quick look at her clock told her that it was well into the afternoon. Groaning as her muscles protested, she rolled out of bed and stumbled to the shower. Her magic was nearly replenished, but her body was sore. The alarm spell had taken a larger toll than she had expected. The soothing warm water of the shower eased her tension and she stood with her head against the tiles until the room was full of steam and the mirror completely fogged up.

Emma was waiting for her in the bedroom when she was done. She looked up as Regina stepped from the bathroom.

"Hey. I heard the shower running, so I came up."

"You should have woken me earlier," Regina said, toweling off her hair.

"Well, I actually tried to do that this morning, and you said, and I quote, 'Go the fuck away.' And then you threw a fireball at me." Emma tilted her head to the wall where scorch marks marred the pale paint.

Regina winced, as neither action was something she would do under normal circumstances. "Oh. God, Emma I'm-"

"It's fine. You were still really drained. I've seen more powerful matches." Emma stepped in closer, her eyes roaming over Regina. "You feeling better?"

"I am." Regina pulled out some clothes, hesitating only a moment before dropping her towel. Emma had seen it all before, and it was silly for Regina to become modest now. "Though I would not say no to an advil and a strong cup of coffee."

"I can do both of those."

As Regina dressed, Emma sat on the end of the bed, watching her. But it was relaxed and comfortable. Nothing was strained in the younger woman.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you last night," Regina finally said when she had pulled on her jeans and shirt.

"Everyone gets snippy when they're running on little sleep and are at the point of exhaustion." Emma stood and slid her arms around Regina's waist, pulling her close. "Sleepy turned around two this morning. Charming took care of everything. Henry…it was all over well before he was awake. Archie's with him now. I figured it would be better for him to talk about what he was feeling."

Regina nodded. "That's probably for the best. Are you…okay?"

"Yeah. I mean, I was never close to him." Emma let her forehead drop onto Regina's shoulder. "He was nice, though. He didn't deserve this."

Regina let her hand come up to stroke Emma's hair. "Have you gotten enough sleep? I was not the only one who used a great deal of magic."

"I'm….I don't know." Emma kissed Regina's neck and straightened. "Got a lot on my mind. Everyone's been waiting for you to get up so that we can talk about why they thought it would be a good idea to run around town during the zombie apocalypse. Kathryn only said that it had to do with the Blue Fairy. Astrid's still asleep, too. She had to use a lot of magic to keep them even semi safe."

"They must have been desperate to risk it." Regina waved her hand, drying her hair and setting perfectly.

"Okay, I know you can use magic to do that now, but how the hell did you get it so perfect before the curse broke?"

Regina smirked and kissed Emma lightly. "My secret."

"Yeah, whatever. I've seen all those products in the bathroom." Emma sighed and let her head tilt back. "We should go downstairs. We have a shit ton to talk about."

"Not the least being that your mother still hasn't had her chance to talk with me about corrupting her daughter."

"If we're lucky, she'll forget about that."

"I wouldn't hold my breath." Regina kissed Emma again, for longer this time, her hands twining into Emma's hair. "Let's go."

"Couldn't we just stay here?" Emma whined, her hands sliding up Regina's stomach to settle on her breasts. Regina swatted them away.

"No. There's too much to do." She gave Emma's hand a squeeze before heading down to where everyone else was congregated in the living room, Emma following at a slower pace.

"Ah, so good of Your Majesty to join us," Grumpy snarled when Regina entered the room. A cutting retort danced on the end of her tongue, but she held it back, knowing that he had lost a dear friend that morning. She reflected momentarily that her self-restraint would likely never be recognized by these people.

"I had not meant to sleep so long," Regina said, addressing Kathryn instead. "It seems as though last night's activities took quite a lot out of me." She ignored Red's sniggers in the background. Though she was pleased to see Snow's jaw tighten.

"Of course, Regina," Kathryn said gently. Normally, Regina would hate someone like Kathryn. She would hate someone who was nice to everyone she met, no matter how awful that person had been to her. Normally, Regina would see it as weakness. Normally. But Kathryn was different. Kathryn was not weak. Not in any way. Kathryn was possibly the strongest person Regina had ever known. Strong in a quiet way that did not require grand gestures and spitting rage the way Regina's strength did. Kathryn was strong enough to forgive.

"Regina, there's some leftover lasagna from lunch," Granny said. "I know that the transformation always takes a lot out of Red, so you should probably eat something after last night."

"Thank you." Regina gave her a nod and took a seat as she left to retrieve it. "Kathryn, later today, Emma and I will go down to the basement and see if we can fix it up and make it livable."

"That's very kind of you, Regina," Kathryn said with a smile. "But unnecessary. We were thinking more of moving into the house next door." She looked across to Frederick, who nodded his agreement. "Your home seems to be getting a little crowded."

"We will make due if need be." She turned to glare at Grumpy's snort of disbelief. "But, I think we have more pressing matters to attend. What on earth compelled you to show up here in the middle of the night?"

Kathryn, Grumpy and Frederick shared a look before Kathryn sighed and folded her hands in her lap. "The day you came to the nunnery, the shield failed for some reason after you left." Regina felt Emma stiffen next to her. "The fairies ran down to put it back up, and when they came back, Blue told us that Snow had been bitten. That she was dead." Kathryn's gaze swept over Snow. "But then Nova told Grumpy that Blue was lying. She said that Regina had saved Snow. I….At first I didn't believe it." Kathryn dipped her head, guilty. "But Nova insisted. When no one came from your group, I began thinking that there was more to it. I wanted to come and talk with you, see for myself. When I asked Blue to let me through the shield, she refused. She said no one was leaving.

"I was very taken aback, and I told her that I appreciated everything she had done to protect us, but no one has the right to keep me someplace I don't want to be. It turned quite…heated." Regina had a hard time envisioning Kathryn getting into a heated argument with anyone, but she reflected that if anyone could do it, it would be the Blue Fairy. "Blue kept us from leaving and she continued to lie to us about what happened to Snow. So a few of us planned to break out. With Nova's help. The middle of the night was really the only time we could do it. We made our way over here, and well…you know the rest."

Granny returned, and handed Regina a plate of food. Regina wondered when she had become so comfortable with these people. When their differences had been put aside.

"Wait," Charming said, face twisted in confusion. "Why would Blue do this? Why would she basically hold you hostage?"

"Why would she let your wife die?" Regina shot at him. "She does what she thinks is best for the 'greater good.'"

Kathryn nodded. "She said that she could not risk anyone else becoming infected. She said that we would need everyone to….rebuild." Kathryn shuddered, and Regina could not stop a growl in her throat.

"What?" Emma looked between them, and Regina could see the wheels in her brain turning.

"Breeding, dear," Regina told her, the disgust coloring her voice.

"Oh, God." Emma covered her mouth with her hand. "Blue is one really screwed up piece of work. How could you ever trust her?" The question was directed to Snow and Charming. "I've read Henry's book, and I know how many times she's screwed people over."

Snow sighed. "Sometimes we needed magic. And….the alternative was always a deal with Rumpelstiltskin. Choices had to be made. Regardless, all we can do now is learn from our mistakes." Regina resisted rolling her eyes. But only just.

"Yeah, what do we do now?" Grumpy asked, looking to his Queen and Prince. Regina did not relish the thought of Snow and Charming having control over the group's actions. These new additions did not look to Emma. They looked to the Queen they knew in the old world. The prospect put her on edge.

However, her fears were relieved just a moment later when Snow turned her attention to Emma. "What do you think? Regina?"

Emma answered first. "Survive. We just try to survive. Unless you think Blue is going to come after us?"

"No." Kathryn shook her head. "That would be risking too much. She'll cut her losses."

"Then we won't worry about her." Emma drew her knees up momentarily only to set her feet back on the ground after a glare from Regina. "We have other things to worry about. Like rooms, and food, and that kind of shit." They heard the back door open and close, and Pongo rushed into the room, running from person to person until he reached Regina, where he sat his head in her lap. She barely had time to move her plate to make room for him. Henry and Archie followed shortly.

"Mom, you're awake!" Henry gave a brilliant smile, and Regina had to concentrate on not letting her emotions overtake her. His affection was still so new to her, and she was still so surprised by it.

"Yes. I am much more rested now." She rubbed her hand over Pongo's head, scratching his ears.

"Me, too."

She looked up to see Nova standing behind Archie. Her hair was wet, and she looked exhausted still. But Grumpy's face lit up like she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. And Regina thought that maybe they had some common ground after all.

"Now that everyone's awake, we should figure out where we're all going to sleep," Emma said. "Kathryn said something about moving into a house next door?"

"Yes," Kathryn agreed. "Just for the sake of space. I thought maybe….Regina could help out? Extend that wall so that it would include the house we pick."

They all turned to Regina, and Red lifted a brow, no doubt remembering her outburst at Emma the night before about not being an endless source of magic.

"I will try. It would probably be best if I waited a day or two. I'm still rather drained." She knew that with Emma's assistance, she could do what Kathryn wanted, but all this magic use was starting to give her a headache, and she wanted to speak with Nova about her thoughts on the virus as a magical product.

"Of course, Regina. Whenever you feel you can." Kathryn gave her a small smile, and Regina felt that horrible punch of guilt in her gut that she thought would probably never go away. There was nothing she could ever do that would make up for how she had treated Kathryn. But she could try.

"Tomorrow. Nova?"

"Yes, Your Majesty?"

"It's just Regina. May I have a word?"

The fairy shifted nervously, and Regina could see Grumpy make some sort of aggressive gesture out of the corner of her eye. But Nova nodded. "Yes. Sure thing."

Regina rose and led Nova outside, giving Emma a reassuring look. She did not realize that Snow had followed them until a hand caught her arm as she began to open the back door. She turned to see Snow standing behind her.

"Nova, I'll be out in a moment." She waited for the fairy to leave before raising a brow at Snow. "Yes?"

"I need to know something. About you and Emma."

"You want to do this _now_?"

"Yes. I just need you to answer one question." Snow crossed her arms and she wore a fierce expression. "Are you doing this to hurt me?"

"Contrary to what you may think, not everything I do revolves around you." Regina let herself take a small amount of pleasure at the look of pain that flitted across Snow's face. "I care about Emma. That is why I am with her."

"Okay. That's all I needed." Snow looked down at her feet, letting out a slow breath before looking back up. "Please don't hurt her. I think she loves you."

The words hit her heart like a knife, and she could not think of any words in response. She stood there with her mouth hanging open while Snow walked back into the living room.

Love?

Emma loved her?

Regina's hand shot out to brace against the wall as she swayed dangerously. Emma could not love her. They were just….just Henry's mothers. They were kind of friends, and they understood each other. But that was it. Not love. Her true love had died long ago, and she had done so much in his name. Love was a dangerous thing. She no longer believed it was weakness, as her mother had taught her, but she was so very warry of it. No, warry was too soft a word.

She was terrified.

"Your Maj-Regina?"

Regina picked up her head, heart beating rapidly. Nova stood in the doorway, waiting for her, and Regina put her mask carefully back in place. There were things to do. More important than Emma's feelings for her. Or her feelings for Emma.

"Yes. Coming." She closed her eyes and breathed deeply and stepped outside.

She would think about it later.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: **not much happens here action wise, but it's a big developing chapter for Regina.

* * *

Soon, Regina knew, Emma would ask her why she was being so distant. The last few days, she had been able to fill her time with things besides talking to Emma about what Snow had said. They have all been busy preparing the house next door for Kathryn, Frederick, Nova, and Grumpy. Regina knew that Archie was thinking about going with them because there was an actual bedroom available to him instead of a mattress on the floor of Regina's study. She didn't like that she did not want him to go. Henry would miss the dog, she rationalized.

But worrying over Pongo and Archie kept her from worrying about how to act like herself around Emma. She did not know if what Snow said was true, but she knew that she could not ignore it. She could not pretend that her mind was not worrying over every little thing that Emma did. She could not keep up a mask anymore around Emma. And she was so very unprepared for the conversation that would follow when Emma finally asked her what was wrong.

So she kept herself busy, only coming to bed when she was exhausted and could reasonably wish for sleep without conversation or anything else first. Emma never pushed, and Regina began to feel guilty. Like she was hiding something. Kathryn could tell something was wrong, and asked Regina about it when they were both in the new house stripping linens.

"It's nothing," Regina replied automatically. Her friendship with Kathryn was slowly repairing itself, and Regina tried her hardest not to lie to her, not to fall back into what it was before. Kathryn was someone she could talk to about certain things. Things she could not talk to Emma about. Things about Emma. She wondered if that was what friendship was supposed to be. Talking about….things. It was a strange concept to her but she was willing to try.

"Nothing?" Kathryn raised a brow as she shook out a pillow case. "Is that why you haven't said two words to Emma all day?"

"Everything's fine."

"That would be a lot easier to believe if you didn't sound so defensive."

Regina sighed and sat on the bed. "The day after you came here….Snow said something to me."

"Go on."

"She said that…that she thinks Emma…." Regina tilted back her head in frustration. She did not know why the words were so hard for her to say. She did not know why everything was always so hard. But she gritted her teeth and pressed on. "She said that she thinks Emma loves me."

Kathryn tilted her head. "Yes, I can see that."

"What?"

"You can't?"

"I hadn't thought….She can't." Regina wrapped her arms around herself and stood, pacing the room.

"Why not?"

"People who love me die." Regina closed her eyes, the faces of her mother and father and Daniel flashed before her.

"Henry loves you," Kathryn said. "Do you fear for him, as well?"

Regina shook her head, a tight smile on her lips. "He will never love me the way he loves Emma. And he has already suffered because of me."

"I think that you underestimate what he feels for you." Kathryn stood, too, and put the linens in the hamper they had brought with them. "He's got a lot to work through, but you raised him alone for ten years. You're his mother."

"So is she."

Kathryn actually smiled at that. "And a year ago, you would have rather died than admit that."

"A year ago I was a lot angrier." Regina was not sure where all of her anger had gone, but she did know that it was much diminished from the seething, destructive ball of rage and anguish that had lodged itself behind her heart so many years ago. It had been a constant companion for more years than she cared to recall, and now, it was just gone. Somewhere along the way it had all become so…trivial. "A year ago, I thought I was going to lose everything. And then I did lose everything." Regina clenched her fists and steeled herself. That was quite enough emotional display for one day.

"You should talk to her," Kathryn suggested lightly. "Tell her-"

"I'll not tell her anything," Regina snapped, regretting it immediately when Kathryn flinched slightly. "It's too soon. I can't deal with it yet. I don't…I'm not good with….this."

"Talking?"

"Feelings."

"Okay. Tell me. What are you so afraid of?"

"I'm not-" Regina stopped when Kathryn raised both her brows. Regina wondered if all friends were this irritatingly perceptive or if she was just lucky enough to have chosen a special one. "They all leave in the end. No matter how much they say they love me."

"Snow loved you once. She's still here."

"That's more punishment than anything else," Regina said darkly, scowling out the window where she could see Snow and Emma practicing archery in the now massive connected back yard between the two houses. They were laughing about something, and Regina could not help but soften as she watched Emma miss her intended target by a good three feet.

"Henry's still here. I'm here."

Regina looked over at Kathryn, turning her back on the window. "Yes, you are."

"I think I have a lot of reasons not to be, but I also like to think we're working through them." She came to stand next to Regina, looking out the window. "Emma spent her life running. Leaving. But she stayed for Henry. And she's never abandoned you. She came for you when the town wanted to kill you. She saved you from the wraith. She believed you when no one else did about Archie's supposed murder."

"She believed me until her parents convinced her otherwise." Regina was still bitter about the whole ordeal, but she knew that had she been in Emma's place, she would have reacted even worse. "You know, I never even got an apology."

"And did she ever get an apology from that time you tried to curse her with a turnover?"

Kathryn had a very valid point, and Regina glared at her. "I was a little busy trying not to get killed."

"The same could be said for her."

"This is not exactly what I thought friendship would be," Regina complained, and Kathryn let out a sparkling laugh that lit up her face. "I thought you were supposed to agree with me on everything."

"Well, I'm glad I have been able to break your preconceived notions of friendship." Kathryn laid her hand on Regina's arm and gave it a light squeeze. "If Emma loves you, then she loves you. And that's not a bad thing. Remember that she comes from a long line of people always finding each other."

"Oh God, please don't." Regina's disdain earned another laugh from Kathryn. "I swear if I have to hear that one more time, I will not be held responsible for my actions. Did you know that they do it when one of them has been in a different room for more than ten minutes? I was in the study yesterday, and I heard them in the kitchen. Charming had come in from the yard, and Snow was in the dining room, and suddenly, I hear professions of 'I found you' from across the house. It's disgusting."

"There's a high probability that they do it because they know it irritates you," Kathryn pointed out.

"Well, it irritates their daughter, too." Regina considered it for a moment, a smile tugging at her mouth as she saw Henry join Emma and Snow. Emma proudly pointed to the single arrow she had managed to get on the target, and Regina could see Henry's unimpressed expression from where she watched. It was good to know that she had managed to pass something of herself on to him. "Come to think of it, they actually probably do it because it irritates Emma. They seem to greatly enjoy catching up on their missed opportunities to embarrass her."

"If you ever need to escape, you are more than welcome here." Kathryn returned to the bed and scooped up the last of the pillow cases. "Talk to Emma. She's going to know that something is going on with you anyway."

Regina nodded, feeling better, but still just as confused. She knew that Kathryn was right, that Emma was not going to leave her like everyone else had. Because Emma was nothing if not infuriatingly good at doing the opposite of what Regina expected her to.

She and Kathryn finished with the linens, and Regina walked back to her own house, waving to Emma and Henry in the yard. Her son had managed to hit the bull's-eye of the make shift target twice already, and she felt a burst of pride in her chest. She walked around the side of the house to tend to the vegetable garden she and Granny were starting, but stopped short when she saw that the door to the cellar was open. Curious, she ducked her head into the dim light.

"Hello? Who's down here?"

"Oh, hey Regina," Red's voice carried back to her. "It's just me."

"What are you doing down here?" Regina slipped inside and blinked a few times as her eyes adjusted. Red was wrestling with one of the heavy shelves Regina kept down there, trying to move it against a wall.

"Trying to make enough room in here for a real bed."

"Why?"

"Well, I guess I figure that this whole…situation is kind of….permanent." She stood up, popping out her back and leaning against the shelf. "And I'm a bit tired of sharing with Granny. Kind of don't want to spend the rest of forever like that."

"That's reasonable."

"I mean, only if it's okay with you that I turn your basement into a rad bachelorette pad." Red looked at her expectantly, eye large and wide, biting down on her lower lip. Regina wondered if that face worked on other people, because it only caused her mild amusement.

"Seeing as you residing in my home is a rather….permanent situation, I don't think that giving you the basement it too much to ask." Regina inclined her head, and Red looked for a moment like she wanted to hug her. Thankfully, she refrained.

"Awesome." She turned back to the shelf she had been moving, and grunted as she pushed her weight against it.

"May I ask why you're doing this alone?"

"Everyone else is busy, and I didn't want to bother anyone." Red glanced over her shoulder at Regina. "Besides, sometimes even I need some alone time. Especially stuck in a house with my grandmother and a therapist who is constantly asking me how I _feel_ about things."

Regina snorted in agreement. "It would only take me seconds to move whatever you needed," she said offhandedly.

"Yeah, but like…they're all using you like some kind of pack mule or something," Red said, turning around to push against the shelf with her back. "I know that they don't think of it that way, that they think it's how you can 'contribute' or whatever, but I know what it's like for people to look at you and only see how your magical abilities can help them. Snow's my best friend, and I love her, but in the war, I felt like she sometimes only saw me as a weapon." Red shook her head. "Anyway, I can do this, so there wasn't any need."

For a moment, Regina regarded the younger woman. She had always admired Red's ferocity and independence, even when they had been enemies. They had a lot in common, if Regina let herself think about it. "Stand back."

"What?"

"Just get out of the way." Regina waited until Red took a few steps away from the shelf and then waved her hand, moving the shelf firmly against the wall.

"Thanks. You didn't have to do that."

"I didn't have to, but I wanted to."

Red gave her a bright smile, and Regina returned it cautiously. Smiling that that was something that her mouth had almost forgotten how to do. "If you need help down here, let me know."

"Sure thing. Hey, Regina?"

"Yes?"

"Do you mind if I ask you a….personal question?"

Regina felt her walls fly back up, and she lifted her chin. "Depends on what it is."

"It's…well, it's about Emma."

"What about her?"

"Like, I know you two are trying to pretend like nothing's going on, but I can tell. You're pheromones are like ridiculous."

Regina felt her cheeks burst into a red hot blush, and her jaw must have dropped because Red actually laughed at her.

"Oh my God, stop freaking out," the werewolf said between fits of giggles. "I didn't mean that way. God. There's a change in pheromones when people start feeling more than just attraction to each other. Snow and Charming's are everywhere, too."

"Lovely." That was a mental picture Regina did not need.

"What I mean is, Emma cares a lot about you and I've notice that the last few days you two have been…distant." Red looked as though she were waiting for Regina to snap at her. When no reprimand came, she continued. "She's actually pretty worried about it."

"You can smell that, too?"

"Yeah, but she told me. Well, actually she just asked me if you seemed unhappy."

"Did she?" Regina clenched her teeth together in anger. She did not need Emma going around talking about their personal relationship with Red. When she realized that she had done the same thing with Kathryn not twenty minutes earlier, she let her anger fizzle out. "And?"

"I told her exactly what I just told you." Red moved to the next shelf, looking around to find a good place to move it. "I also told her that she better not mess it up."

"Where do you want that one?"

"Oh, uh….in that corner there." Red pointed and stood back while Regina moved the shelf. "Thanks. Anyway, you guys have this chance to have something really great." The way Red said it sounded a lot like a plea, and Regina furrowed her brows in confusion.

"Why is it so important to you that Emma and I are together?"

"Because she loves you, and you're….well you care about her more than I've ever seen you care about anyone besides Henry and you two don't seem to see how lucky you are." Red shut her mouth quickly and looked away. Regina could tell that she should probably say something, inquire as to whether or not the other woman was all right, but she had such little experience in this area and she was not even sure what her relationship to Red was. They were not friends like she and Kathryn were, or like Red and Emma were. But they had been living in this house together for weeks, for what seemed like a lifetime, and Red was starting to be someone Regina….enjoyed being around, despite how much it pained her to admit it.

"Believe me, I know how lucky I am to have Emma," she eventually said, very quietly.

"Yeah…I guess you do." Red deflated, and sat on the edge of a tool box. "Don't let her worry about whatever it is that's going on between you guys for too long, okay? If you wait too long to say something, you might regret it."

Suddenly, all these puzzle pieces clicked together in Regina's mind and she felt like she got punched in the gut. "It was Belle, wasn't it?"

"What?" Red's voice was a little too high and too breathless, and Regina knew that she was right.

"You loved her."

"I…."

"Of course, it makes sense now." Regina felt an inexplicable urge to comfort Red as the girl's face crumpled.

"I never told her, and she left with _him_." Red looked up helplessly at Regina. "I'll probably never see her again, and the last thing I said to her was 'I hope you're happy with that murdering old man.'"

"Well, you're assessment of Rumpelstiltskin is very generous. He's far worse than that." It was the wrong thing to say as Red let out a pained whimper and looked away. "God. Okay. On the bright side, she's probably incredibly safe," Regina offered. "The Dark One will never let anything happen to her."

"He doesn't have magic out there," Red said, sniffing. "She'd be safer here. With me."

"Gold was very resourceful even without magic. She'll be fine." Regina shifted her weight from foot to foot, not knowing what to say to Red. This was entirely out of her comfort zone. Something that was better for Snow to handle. "I can go get Snow if you want."

"No, it's fine. She…I never told her, either."

"Understandable. She's not exactly the best with secrets." Regina was surprised that Red smiled at the comment. Joking about their pasts was about the only way they could all survive under the same roof.

"She's been so happy the past few months. She has Emma and Charming and her family. It kind of felt like she didn't have time for me anymore."

"Getting left behind is something people like her do not understand," Regina said softly.

"I know it's hard to balance it all, and I'm not really mad at her but….I'd like to be seen as more than a babysitter, you know?"

"Indeed."

"I didn't mean to get all emotional on you," Red said, shaking herself not unlike the wolf that lived inside her. "I know how you feel about that kind of stuff. You know, you're really not a bad listener."

"I know what it is to be unheard," Regina found herself saying. "It gives a different perspective."

"I guess it does." Red blew out a sigh through her nose. "Look, Emma is crazy about you, okay. She tries to hide it, and I think she doesn't want to freak you out or something. But she's always had really intense emotions about you. For like…forever. So just….Don't let things go unsaid."

"I'll keep that in mind." Regina regarded Red for a moment longer, hesitating before putting a hand on her shoulder. "Let's get this room cleaned up and fit for living."

She spent the rest of the afternoon with Red, fixing up her basement until it turned into a rather livable room that only needed a bed to complete it. They would find one from the houses around them. Regina found that it was an afternoon that she enjoyed, and she and Red had fallen into a companionable conversation about subjects that were safe for both of them. Neither of them seemed to want to give any more emotionally for the time being, but Regina did like that she now had another person to go to when her heart overwhelmed her.

Having friends was odd, but not unpleasant.

Determined to keep her promises to Kathryn and Red, Regina went to bed that night prepared to have a real conversation with Emma. She waited patiently for the other woman to finish up in the bathroom, trying and failing to read a book in the meantime.

Emma came out with her hair wet and her tank top scrunched up over her stomach.

"So, you gonna tell me what's been bothering you lately?" Emma asked without preamble.

"I…yes, I was planning on it."

Emma seemed surprised by the answer. Regina knew that she had expected it to take a lot of coaxing and teeth pulling. "Okay. So let's have it. I'm pretty sure it's something Snow said to you because it started after she ran after you and Astrid." Regina thought it was endearing how Emma still referred to everyone by their Storybrooke names instead of their real names. Everyone answered to both, anyway, so it did not really matter. Of course, Regina still called Princess Abigail by her cursed name. Perhaps it was because that was how she knew her, and their cursed names where how Emma knew everyone.

"It was." Regina set her book to the side and took a deep breath. "She asked me if I was with you just to hurt her, which, of course, is preposterous. I told her I was with you because I…care about you." She glanced at Emma briefly, unable to keep looking at her as she spoke. "She said that….that I better not hurt you. Of course, that much I was expecting. Because the entire world revolves around her, and I am incapable of making decisions without regard to how they affect her. As though she would be able to do anything about it. She has a habit of making empty threats without-"

"Regina, you're rambling."

"Right."

"Take your time."

Regina sighed, looking up at the ceiling then closing her eyes. "She said that she thought you love me." When no answer came to her words, Regina risked a look at Emma. The other woman was staring at her, mouth slightly open.

"That is….not what I expected you to say. I thought this was going to be something about Snow telling you to stay away from me or something." Emma ran a hand through her hair. "God. Sometimes I see why you can't stand her. Always putting her nose into other peoples' business."

"Is she right?"

"I…Jesus, Regina I don't know." Emma shook her head. "I don't know what the hell it is I feel for you and I kind of wanted to have it figured out before we talked about it. I mean, that's a big word, right?"

"It only has four letters."

Emma glared at her. "Okay can we cut the sass for a minute here?"

"I suppose in a metaphorical sense, it is a rather….sizable word," Regina relented. She knew that she fell back on her sarcasm when she was feeling emotionally vulnerable. It was something she had to work on, that she had been working on. But Rome was not built in a day.

"I mean, the last person I loved was Neal, and before you say anything, no, I am not comparing you to Neal." Emma gave her a knowing look. "You're completely different, and I am so thankful for that. Of course, I wouldn't be sleeping with you if you were like him. And no, I don't just think that we're sleeping together. We've only done it once anyway. Because you've been avoiding me like the plague."

"I knew you would be able to see that there was something wrong," Regina admitted. "Though I have years of experience faking my way through sex, I…don't want it to be like that with you."

"I hate that I'm related to that bastard," Emma growled, and Regina placed a hand on her knee.

"We don't get to choose who we came from," Regina said. "For what it's worth, my guards told me that your grandmother would never have stood for how the King acted after her death. Your family tree is not _completely_ insufferable."

"Is it really awful that I'm not upset that you had him killed?"

"From my perspective, no." Regina sat back against the pillows, wishing they would stop talking about Leopold. She hated being reminded that he was Emma's grandfather. It made her feel weird and somehow dirty. Of course, he had always managed to make her feel dirty. Used and unwanted.

"Hey, look at me." Emma's voice was soft, and Regina obeyed. "I don't know if I'm ready for the big L-Word yet, but I care a lot about you. A lot. And we're a family. You, me, and Henry. For better or worse."

"Those sound an awful lot like vows," Regina said, voice quivering.

"I think a kid is a hell of a lot more binding than a stupid ceremony and a piece of paper." Emma reached out and cupped Regina's cheek. "And we're going to make this all work. Okay?"

Regina nodded, hating that she felt weak in front of Emma. She always seemed to lose all sense of self when it came to the Savior. As much as she hated it, she turned into a ball of mush. Like all those women she had watched disdainfully over the years. She did not have time to think about it for long, though, because Emma leaned forward and captured her lips.

"No more thinking for tonight," Emma said, pushing Regina back onto the bed. "We can think more tomorrow."

Regina tilted her head back, letting Emma kiss down her neck, closing her eyes as nimble fingers unbuttoned her shirt and pushed it aside. She threaded her hands in Emma's hair, arching her back up into the mouth that grazed along her skin. Suddenly desperate, she clutched at Emma's tank top, trying to push it off the other woman. Emma took the hint and sat up long enough to pull it over her head. Regina let her eyes roam over Emma's body.

"Have I told you that you're beautiful?" she asked quietly, reaching out to trail her hand along the plains of Emma's stomach.

"I can't remember," Emma said, closing her eyes and sighing contentedly. She ground her hips down, and Regina gasped. Emma kept rotating her hips, eyes closed and a hand resting on Regina's sternum, fingers brushing against her breasts. Regina thought that she had probably never seen anything so beautiful. She reached up and grasped Emma's hips, groaning as their cores brushed.

"Emma, please."

Emma opened her eyes and looked down at Regina with a lidded gaze. Carefully, she swung herself off of Regina, shimmying out of her underwear, then helping Regina out of hers. Then, she pulled Regina on top of her, settling the older woman over her hips.

"Yeah, this is a view I could get used to," Emma said with a grin as she guided Regina's hips. They rocked together like that, with Regina leaning over Emma, her hair falling around her face and Emma looking up at her with unabashed admiration. Emma hooked one leg over Regina's hip, bringing them closer together, and pulled Regina harder down onto her. They both groaned, and Regina had to rest most of her weight on her hands, one on each side of Emma's head. It was so different from anything she had ever experienced with a partner. A gratification and satisfaction and….something so much deeper. As she looked down at Emma, Regina knew that she loved this woman, and she knew that now she had more to lose than she ever had before. So much to be taken away from her. Such a chance to be devastated like she had never been devastated before. And it terrified her. If losing Daniel had sent her on a spiral of destruction and vengeance, she could not imagine what she would do if she lost Emma and Henry.

She must have tensed up in her fear because Emma reached up to touch her face, bringing her down for a kiss.

"You're safe here," Emma whispered, tracing Regina's jaw. "You're safe." Regina hung onto those words as she and Emma moved together, spiraling towards an oblivion that Regina had never truly experienced before.

Afterwards, as she lay with her head on Emma's chest, Regina wondered why it had taken the world going to hell for her to finally find what she had always wanted.

"Hey, Regina?"

"Hmm?"

"Earlier I said that I wasn't ready for the L-Word yet."

Regina lifted her head to look at Emma. The younger woman was chewing on her bottom lip, deep in thought. She glanced down at her bedmate.

"But…I think I'm ready now."

Regina propped herself up on her elbow and searched Emma's face, finding only sincerity there. Her throat closed, and she swallowed hard against the tears that threatened her.

"Me too."

Emma gave Regina a smile and pulled her back down, wrapping her arms around her. The words 'you're safe' echoed through Regina's mind, and for the first time in perhaps her entire life, she believed them.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN**: warnings for more gore in this chapter!

* * *

Regina had never been a fan of the fairies, but she had a grudging respect that Blue could do what she had to do without letting her emotions get in the way. Nova, however, was a different story. Regina could not stand her bumbling ineptitude or her bright and bubbly personality. It grated on her every nerve. However, she was the only other person available who had any experience with magic, and Regina had no choice but to work with her on trying to find the origins of the zombie virus. Nova was obviously less learned in the arts of spells and curses, and was not nearly as gifted as Blue, but she was a sounding board, at the very least.

At first, Grumpy would not let Regina near Nova unsupervised, and his constant insults and hostility had driven her so close to resorting to violence that she had asked Snow to intervene. At his queen's insistence, Grumpy had left them be, and Regina was finally able to work in peace. Nova actually proved to be a fast learner, and Regina wondered if Blue had purposefully kept her down over the years. A threat to her power and leadership. Because it was Nova who suggested that maybe they should try to get a live tissue sample to study. A suggestion that surprised Regina in its validity. Perhaps she had underestimated the young Fairy.

That was how she found herself standing in front of the wall, flanked by Emma and Nova, both of whom were fussing over her while she gripped a machete and tightened the chinstrap of a helmet with the rest of their group standing behind them.

"I still don't think you should go alone," Emma said, arms crossed angrily over her chest. "At least take Astr-Nova with you."

Regina rolled her eyes and checked to make sure the shin guards Henry had given her were secured. "Nova's magic relies on fairy dust, which is a very valuable and rare commodity right now."

"Then take me."

"You would get in the way," Regina said truthfully, but not unkindly. "You're learning to control your magic, but you have a long way to go. I can't be worried about you while I'm out there. I'll be fine. It will take five minutes. I'm fully charged magically, I had a full night's sleep, Granny made me eat a day's worth of protein, you forced me to drink one of those horrid energy drinks, and I'm wearing guards." She turned and laid her hand on Emma's arm. "I'll be fine."

"I don't like it," Emma grumbled.

"There are many things I don't like," Regina countered. "Like your atrocious table manners and the fact that our son seems to have inherited them from you." Emma softened at Regina's use of the word 'our.' "But there are some things we just can't change."

"Regina." Emma sighed loudly.

"I will be careful," Regina said, raising her brows and giving Emma a steady look.

"Okay, but I know that earlier we agreed on magic as a last resort, but-"

"I won't hesitate." Regina reached down and squeezed Emma's hand. She then looked behind her at Henry, who was standing between his grandparents, worry etched on his face. "I love you, Henry."

He nodded and stepped forward to give her a brief hug, which she could only partially return due to the weapon in her hand. For a moment, she wanted to just stay like that forever. But she knew that she was the only one who could safely go out and bring back what they needed. So she took a deep breath and let it out slowly, gripping her weapon tighter.

Glancing back at Emma, she steeled herself. "Close the gate directly behind me. Don't wait. And don't open it unless I expressly tell you to."

"But what if you can't-"

"If I can't, then there will be no need to open it anyway," Regina said, coolly, trying to ignore the way Emma flinched. "But that's not going to happen." Regina squared her shoulders and approached the gate, glancing around to make sure that the coast was clear. No zombies lingered too close to the wall. After weeks of trying to get in, they had all but given up, leaving the wall well enough alone. Regina pushed the gate open as quietly as she could, slipping through and glancing behind her to make sure that Emma shut it.

"You better come back," Emma said through the bars.

"If you insist." Regina gave her one last nod, and walked out towards a group of zombies she could see lingering near the neighbor's house. She readjusted her grip on her machete and quickened her pace. She needed to take one before they became aware of her presence. Henry said they were attracted mostly by sound, and that as long as she was careful, she would be able to get close before they realized she was there. The blood thudded in her ears, and she kept her breathing steady, knowing that she could not afford to be distracted.

She quickly assessed the situation she was walking into. There were five zombies milling around, shuffling about aimlessly in her neighbor's backyard. Two small ones, women Regina had known before, and three males she could no longer recognize. She ultimately decided on the smallest of the males, though she knew she would take whichever one she could get. When it came down to dispatching the creatures, she probably would not have the benefit of her first choice. She just needed one of them….alive.

Quietly as she could, Regina skirted the wall that ran around her house, keeping low and using bushes to hide her for as long as she could until she was just a few feet away from the group of zombies. Gathering her courage, Regina stepped out from behind the row of hedges and tossed out a stasis spell to freeze the five zombies. Moving carefully, she drove her machete in between the eyes of the closest one, grunting as she tried to pull it out. It was wedged against bone, and Regina growled, putting her foot up against the zombie's stomach to put more force and leverage behind her tugs. With a sickening squelch, the machete pulled free, and Regina lifted the spell from the lifeless body, turning her attention to the next zombie. This time, she tried hacking off the head, but twenty-eight years of no physical activity other than chasing after Henry when he was young had not lent itself to a lot of strength, and her machete was nowhere near sharp enough to cut through the flesh in one go.

Frustrated and growing anxious, Regina finished beheading the second zombie and moved on to the third. She took a quick look around, cursing under her breath as she saw at least three more zombies meandering her way from the street. She pulled out the rope that was looped at her belt and tied down the arms and legs of the zombie she wanted to use as a live sample. Keeping an eye on the ones coming in from the street, Regina stabbed the remaining two zombies in the eye in succession, driving her machete as deep as she could and wresting it out with more difficulty than she would have liked. After this, she would have to start a workout routine. Maybe Emma would have some suggestions.

Regina released the stasis spell on all the zombies she had killed, keeping it only on the one that she now had restrained, and wrapped the loose end of the rope around her hand. Putting all her weight into it, she began to drag the immobilized zombie back toward her house. The zombie had once been a slight man, but Regina still could not drag him fast enough to put a comfortable distance between herself and the pursuing zombies. Remembering her promise not to hesitate to use magic, Regina dropped the rope and levitated the zombie, breaking into a sprint.

Emma has been watching her from the gate and had it open for her as she shouted her approach. Regina only slowed to a walk when she and the restrained zombie were both well inside the wall. As Emma closed the gate behind her, Regina bent over at the waist, resting her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. Red crouched down next to her, hand held out like she thought about touching Regina, but decided against it.

"You okay?"

"Never….better." Regina gasped between gulps of air. She straightened up to see Henry hurtling toward her, only for Red to catch him around the waist and hold him back.

"Whoa, hold up," the werewolf said gently. "Your mom needs to get cleaned up first. Can't risk you getting zombie blood on you." Henry wrinkled his nose, and Regina looked down at herself, seeing that she was, in fact, covered in blood. She reached up to wipe her face, but Emma's hand wrapped around her wrist.

"Wait, Regina." She carefully lifted the helmet off Regina's head. "Just hold off until we can get inside. I don't want to risk any of it getting in your mouth. We need to be careful." Regina nodded.

"Of course." She unstrapped her wrist guards and shin guards to be cleaned later. "David, if you and the dwarf could kindly take our new guest down to the cellar while I get cleaned up." For once, David did as she asked without complaint. He and Grumpy dragged the zombie around the side of the house to the outer entrance of the cellar. Red had agreed to let Regina use it as a make shift lab while they studied the virus.

Regina followed Emma inside, leaving her boots at the back door so she would not track blood and dirt inside her home. Careful not to touch anything, Regina made her way up the stairs and to their bedroom where Emma helped her remove her clothes and step into the bath.

"Just burn those," Regina said wearily. "The stains will never come out anyway."

"Couldn't you just magic them clean?" Emma asked as she bagged up the clothes to keep them from getting blood everywhere. She took a clean damp towel and gently wiped off Regina's face.

"I could, I suppose," Regina answered, keeping her eyes closed as the cloth passed over her face.

"All that magic, and you always forget you can use it for these kinds of things." Emma smirked, turning on the tap to let Regina clean herself up.

"Well, not having it for twenty-eight years was quite instrumental in helping break the habit." Regina grimaced as she washed the blood off, watching it swirl around the drain. "Though, I suppose I could have done better this past year."

"Hey, it's not like anyone was helping," Emma said, shrugging. "And I'll admit, it's really useful now. I just wish it was easier to learn."

Regina snorted, rinsing off the last of the blood from her neck and shoulders. "Your patience is astounding. Have I missed anything?"

Emma gave her a quick once over. "Looks good. I'll get you some clothes." She walked back into the bedroom for a few minutes while Regina toweled off. When she came back, she placed the clothes on the counter and pulled a startled Regina into a tight hug.

"Emma?"

"Just glad you're all right, that's all." She gave Regina a swift kiss. "Had to wait until you got all that gross shit off."

"But you couldn't wait until I got dressed?"

"Well, how could I resist?" Emma grinned and looked down between them at Regina's naked body. Regina rolled her eyes and reached around Emma to grab her underwear. The younger woman sighed dramatically as Regina dressed. "Be that way."

"Later, dear." Regina buttoned up her shit, smoothing it down, realizing that her hands were shaking. Emma took them in her own, and looked at Regina seriously.

"Are you really okay?"

"It was a bit more…excitement than I am accustomed to," Regina admitted.

"Really? Because I kind of remember you going after the Dark One"

"The things I've done before are different because they were all things with which I had experience." She took a few deep breaths as Emma rubbed circles over the backs of her hands. "This is something entirely new. I don't quite know how to handle everything. Also the adrenaline rush is wearing off."

"Yeah, we should probably get you some coffee or something to help the jitters."

"Later. I have too much to do right now." Regina squared her shoulders and headed down the stairs. She went straight to the cellar where Snow, David, Henry, Grumpy, Red, and Nova were waiting. Seeing that she was clean, Henry catapulted himself into Regina's arms, and she held him tight.

"You were so awesome, Mom," he said as he pulled back. "Just like Michonne!" Regina did not understand the reference and looked at him quizzically. "From The Walking dead, duh!"

Regina turned to glare at Emma. "You let him watch that? It's rated TV-14 for extreme violence, language, and sex."

"Thank you, Miss TV-Guide. No, I didn't let him watch that." They both turned to look at David, who shrugged sheepishly.

"I thought it looked cool," he said as Snow stared at him, jaw dropped. "What? I was trying to have bonding time! It was really hard to know what to do, okay? You two were in the Enchanted Forest, and Regina was doing her magic rehab thing and I've never really been around kids before. Besides, he already has the comics anyway."

Emma turned her glare to Regina. "Okay, everything I've heard says that the comics are worse."

"I certainly didn't buy them for him!" Regina protested. "I always previewed the comics I purchased."

"I bought them myself," Henry interrupted. "With my allowance."

"That stupid little man," Regina growled. "How dare he let my ten year old son buy such a violent comic without a parent's permission!"

"I….kind of forged your signature on a note because he said he wouldn't let me get them unless an adult said it was okay," Henry admitted, biting his lower lip the same way Emma did when she was feeling guilty.

"Henry Mills!"

"I only did it because I knew you wouldn't buy them for me," he whined, and Regina just stared at him.

"We will discuss this later, young man," she said ominously and pointed to the stairs leading up into the house. "Now go upstairs and wait with Kathryn." Henry looked as if he wanted to sulk, but Regina simply raised a brow at him, folding her arms as he groaned and obeyed. "And anyone else in this room without magic needs to leave, too."

David and Snow began to protest, and Grumpy said there was no way he was leaving Nova with Regina, but Regina just pointed up the stairs. "Out!" She may not have been a queen for nearly twenty-nine years, but her voice rang with authority.

"Guys, just go. I'll be here," Emma assured them. "Ruby will be here. It's fine."

"Why does Red get to stay?" Grumpy protested, looking very close to throwing a tantrum.

"Because I am fairly certain that her lycanthropy has made her immune to the virus," Regina answered, exasperated. "I need her here to test her blood. The rest of you are useless." Before anyone else could complain, Emma ushered her parents and Grumpy up the stairs and shut the door behind them.

"Jesus Christ. Uh…sorry, Astrid. Nova."

"Oh, I'm…not really a nun," Nova said with a small shrug.

"We need to have a talk about our son and the importance of the truth," Regina grumbled, unpacking the expensive chemistry set she had bought Henry for Christmas the previous year. It was not what she was accustomed to using, but it was better than anything they would find outside of Gold's shop, which was still sealed magically. Regina wanted desperately to get in there, not only for his magical stashes, but for the spell books and magical theory books he no doubt had. If she was to unlock this virus, then she would need all the help she could get. However, until she was sure that she and Emma would be strong enough together to break through the protection spell around the shop, she would have to make do with what she had.

"Yeah, wonder where he got that from," Emma muttered, wincing as Regina's jaw clenched. "Sorry."

"I lied to Henry to protect him," Regina said tightly, and Red shifted uncomfortably from her perch in the corner while Nova look anywhere but the bickering women. "I couldn't very well tell him that he was right, could I? Then everyone would have thought that _I_ was delusional, too. And that wouldn't have helped him at all."

"I know, Regina. I didn't….I didn't mean it that way." Emma sighed ran a hand over her face. "Let's both agree that we've both made shitty parenting decisions and that we're much better as a team, okay?"

"I second that," Red piped up, withering slightly under the glare that Regina turned her way. Nova cowered next to her. "Just saying. You guys make a great team, and the kid's much happier with both of you than he ever was with just one."

"I don't recall asking your opinion," Regina hissed, but she clenched her fists and breathed out slowly through her nose, letting her anger dissipate. "Let's just get on with it."

David had secured the zombie against a heavy metal chair, and Regina cautiously approached it to wrap a thick scarf over its mouth to lower the chance of being bitten.

"Emma, can you get a beaker out? And make sure the microscope is set up?"

"Um…."

Regina glanced behind her to see Emma staring at the equipment with wide eyed confusion. "Oh for God's sake." She stomped over and pulled out the beaker she wanted and turned on the microscope, making sure the setting was to her liking.

"So I may have skipped out on most of my science classes," Emma shrugged. "How was I supposed to know I would need to know how to work a microscope during the zombie apocalypse?"

"Yes, because that's the only reason you should have been paying attention," Regina snipped. "Not because, I don't know, attending school and making decent grades would give you a solid foundation for life."

"Excuse me for not exactly having the best home life," Emma snapped.

"I suppose that's my fault, too."

"If the leather pants fit."

"I didn't make your parents put you in a tree," Regina snarled, rounding to face Emma.

"Yeah, well, you sure didn't leave them much of an option otherwise." Emma took a step forward into Regina's space, their noses almost touching.

"If you'd like to start pointing fingers, I can only name one person in this room who has illegally transported a minor over state lines without permission from his legal guardian."

"Jesus, Regina, I tried to call you! And it's not like Gold was giving me much of a choice, seeing as he threatened to kill Henry if we didn't go with him."

"Your mother said that you didn't have to run anything by me. That doesn't sound like you were trying very hard."

"The things my mother says and do are not the same things I would say or do, or the same things I think at all. God!" Emma let her head tip back, frustration rolling off of her in waves, and Regina realized that through their magic, they were feeding each other's anger. So she took a step back.

"Emma. We both have to calm down. We're making each other worse." She tried to push down her frustration and reached out to touch Emma. The moment they made contact, Regina felt her anger begin to fade.

"Shit. That was….." Emma shook her head, reaching down to lace her fingers with Regina's. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"Yes, you did. And so did I." Regina squeezed Emma's hand. "All the things we said were things we believe but just know better than to say to each other because we both know that saying them changes nothing. I could apologize until I was blue in the face, but it wouldn't change the fact that I cursed you to the childhood you had. And you could do the same, but it can't bring back the nearly two years I lost Henry to you. I don't know if these are issues we ever can resolve, just….learn to live with."

"I guess I kind of thought it would be easier to put it behind me," Emma said, softly.

"I don't think the things we've been through will ever be easy to put behind us."

"Yeah, I guess not." Emma leaned their foreheads together and gave Regina a quick kiss. "I kind of really like you, you know that, right? Even if sometimes I get….fed up."

"I know. I feel the same." Regina shut her eyes briefly before pulling away and turning back to the chemistry set. "Well, since your attention span has cost you the invaluable skill of being able to work a microscope, could you at least take this syringe and draw some blood from our guest when I tell you to?"

"Sure."

"Don't do it until I say. The virus won't last long outside of the host without new flesh to consume. And put on some gloves. You don't want that getting on you. Nova, draw some blood from Red. I'd like to see if I'm correct about her immunity." The fairy hopped up at Regina's command and grabbed the sterilized tools to take Red's blood. Regina finished setting up the instruments she needed and watched Nova carefully as she found a vein and drew a syringe full of Red's blood. Regina waited until she had bandaged the insertion point before nodding to Emma. "All right. Now."

The Savior crunched up her face as she approached the zombie, no doubt from the horrendous smell it was giving off. She tried to look for a viable vein, but the zombie's arms were both messes of torn and degrading flesh.

"Just stick it anywhere," Regina told her. "I just need enough to have a small sample of the virus."

"Okay." Emma picked a spot on the inside of the zombie's arm and pulled back until the syringe was full. "Gross."

"All right, bring it here." Regina took the syringe from Emma and deposited its load into the waiting beaker before mixing it with Red's blood. She then took a dropper and sucked up some of the mixture, squeezing out two drops onto a slide. Then, she placed the slide under the microscope and bent down to take a look. The two samples swirled around each other like oil and water. When she had saved Snow, Regina had felt the virus latch onto the blood, spreading quickly. With Ruby's blood, however, it could not find purchase. Regina watched it for a few more moments to be certain.

"So?" All three of the others were waiting for her verdict.

"It would seem as though Miss Lucas's werewolf blood is enough to hold off the virus."

"Awesome," Red grinned, and Nova clapped her hands in delight.

"Okay, but how did you know how to work that thing," Emma asked. "I know for a fact that I went to more high school science classes than you did."

"The curse implanted me with knowledge I could have expected to learn in high school and freshman biology classes," Regina replied. "It's the same way that David, remarkably, knows how to do algebra."

"That's totally not fair," Emma complained. "I want a cool magic way to know all that boring shit."

"I'm afraid I'm all out of Dark Curses at the moment," Regina said. "As it is, you _can_ help me by getting me another syringe full of this….creature's blood."

"Hey, I don't like all the dog jokes, okay?" Red said, hands on her hips.

"I was referring to the zombie." Regina rolled her eyes at Red's muttered 'oops, sorry.' "I want to see if there is magic in this like I think there is. Nova, I'm going to ask you to allow me use some of your fairy dust." Nova hesitated a moment, and Regina knew she was loathe to separate from her source of power. She had only been able to steal a little bit from Blue, and most of that had been used up trying to get them safely through the town after fleeing the nunnery.

"There's not much left."

"I only need a pinch. If there is magic in this virus, it is miniscule, and the fairy dust will help augment the diagnostic spell."

"Okay." Nova reached into her belt and handed over a leather pouch.

"Emma, if you would."

Once Emma had filled the syringe twice, Regina muttered the proper spell and sprinkled a small pinch of fairy dust over the blood. It flared to life, glowing in her vision, and she looked closely to see iridescent swirls of what she knew was magic twisting and turning in the thick blood.

"I was right. It has a magical base."

"So what does that mean?" Red asked, stepping in behind to Regina to look over her shoulder.

"It means that someone created this." Regina felt an odd anger boiling in her stomach. Of course, she had done awful, unspeakable things as the Evil Queen. She had ordered the deaths of entire villages. But never had she ever considered anything even close to mass genocide. Whoever was responsible for this virus was far more evil than anyone Regina knew. Save maybe….. "The Dark One."

"What?" Emma frowned.

"The only one I know of who has the magical ability to create a virus like this is Rumpelstiltskin."

"But why would he do that? He just found his son, and he has Belle."

"But remember, Belle lost her memories," Red said, looking uncomfortable. "He was really angry about that."

"So he cursed the entire world?" Emma looked between them, unbelieving. "I know he's a pretty bad dude, but like…that's extreme. Even for him."

"The Dark Curse that brought everyone here was his idea," Regina reminded her. "He cursed thousands just to find the son who didn't want to be found. He worked for three hundred years on that plan. Ruined countless lives."

"Yeah, I see your point, but it still doesn't make any sense. What does he gain from it?"

"I can't pretend to know his mind," Regina said. "But didn't you say that he left town a couple of days before this all started?"

"That could be pure coincidence," Emma argued.

"I have learned the hard way that there are no such things as coincidences when it comes to Rumpelstiltskin." Regina lit her hand and burned both samples of blood until she was sure the virus was dead. "If it was him, I doubt we will ever see him again to ask. But what I do know is that I may have what I need to create a vaccine. With Red's blood and our magic, I think I might be able to figure it out. It would just be a vaccine, not a cure. The virus degrades the tissue too quickly to ever come back from, but it's something."

"Yeah? That's incredible." Emma grinned at her. "I feel like there's a 'but' in here somewhere."

"I need to get into his shop."

"Of course."

"I don't have the magical knowledge to….create things." Regina had been realizing that her magical tutelage was grossly incomplete. She was fairly certain that Rumpelstiltskin had done that on purpose, so that she would never be any kind of actual threat to him. "I only know how to activate spells and curses. I need his books and supplies to be able to do anything else."

"Okay, then we figure out a game plan, and this week we'll see what we can do about breaking in." Emma nodded resolutely. "What about fuck face over here?" She jerked her thumb back at the zombie.

"Your colorful vocabulary continues to astound me," Regina commented dryly. "He is of no further use to us at the moment, and I will not have one of these things in the house with my son. The man he used to be no doubt would prefer a real death to this pseudo life he's trapped in."

"So we kill it."

"Yes. Though we should take it outside first. I don't want it getting its mess all over the floor."

"So do I have to do it?"

"I already took care of four out there," Regina said, nodding her head in the general direction of the wall.

"Only because you wouldn't let me come with you."

"I explained why that was already." Regina could feel another argument on its way, so she let her fingers trail down Emma's arm, calming them both. "If you must know, I'm a little…tired."

"Oh. Okay, it's no problem. Hey, Ruby, would you mind lending a hand? Since you're immune and all." Together, Emma and the werewolf dragged the zombie out into the yard, leaving Regina and Nova in the cellar.

"Do you really think you can make a vaccine?" Nova asked timidly.

"I think I can try." Regina glanced over at the fairy, scrutinizing her. "What theoretical knowledge do you have of magic?"

"Oh… not…not much at all, Your Ma-Regina." Nova still had trouble remembering that Regina no longer went by her royal title. "The Blue Fairy mostly….well…."

"She kept you in the dark."

"I…yes. I think…well I don't want to speak ill of her…."

Regina let a knowing smirk tug at the corner of her mouth. "She sees you as a potential threat to her power."

"I'm…I don't see why. I mean, I don't have any kind of special skills. I wasn't…I wasn't even a very good fairy."

"That must not be completely true," Regina said slowly, picking her words carefully. "All people in positions of power who fear to lose that power will target those who they think pose a threat to that power." She had experienced it under Rumpelstiltskin. The constant belittling, being told she was not good enough, not as talented as her mother, not as gifted as others he had apprenticed. Regina closed her eyes against the unwanted memories. "That way, you never know that you actually are a threat. Destroying your self-worth and self-confidence was how she kept you from realizing your potential."

"I don't…." Nova seemed torn.

"What I have seen of your abilities leads me to believe that you have…more natural ability than you know." Regina began cleaning the supplies she had used. "You just lack the proper training. Unfortunately, I do not know much about fairy magic, but perhaps I could look for a book for you in Rumpelstiltskin's shop."

"I….yes. That….I would appreciate that." Nova gave her a nervous smile, which Regina did not return, though she did let her face soften considerably.

"Just know that if Grumpy continues to harass me, you may find him missing parts that you both do not want him to lose." The threat was worth it just to see the blush flare across Nova's face and neck. Before the fairy had time to reply, Emma and Red had returned, both clean of any infected blood.

"All done, and we took the body outside the wall do we don't have to deal with that," Emma said brightly. "So, I guess we go up and tell everyone the news?"

"Yes. We should." Regina let Emma lead the way, giving Nova a final nod before following the Savior up the stairs.

That night, after they had spent hours laying plans and arguing over who would get to participate in what Henry called 'Operation Heist,' Regina and Emma retired to their room. They both washed up, and when Emma climbed into bed next to her, she turned on her side and let her hand splay across Regina's stomach.

"I heard what you said to Astrid-Nova…whatever she goes by now."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. You better be careful or people might start thinking you're nice."

"Oh, the horror." Regina rolled her eyes, but smiled as Emma leaned down to nip at her neck. "I doubt that I could hope for better than 'no longer a homicidal, tyrannical ruler.'"

"Potato, pot_a_to." Emma settled herself between Regina's legs. "You know, when you were doing all that fancy science stuff today, it was really hot."

"So glad to have impressed you," Regina groaned as Emma slid her pajama bottoms down. She sunk her teeth into her bottom lip and tossed Regina's clothes from the bed, her own following soon after.

"Is it my turn to impress you?"

"Do you just have an entire book of uninspired lines to use on me?" Regina asked, brow quirked. She quickly lost her composure as Emma kissed down her chest and stomach, sliding a finger inside her. They moved together, with Regina grasping as Emma's back, pulling them close as she brought Regina to her peak.

"So?" Emma asked after she had plastered herself to Regina's side.

"Adequate."

"Then I guess I'll just have to try harder." With a wicked grin, Emma flipped them so that Regina was on top, settled across her hips, and pulled her hips down, grinding them together. Always careful to stay quiet, for they were still in close quarters to their son and Emma's parents, they rocked against each other until they both fell over the edge.

For a few moments, as she stilled against Emma, head dropped down against the other woman's shoulder, she felt at peace in a way she had not felt in many, many years. She felt a true and full happiness well up inside her, and she blinked back tears. Even when they were bickering, fighting, arguing, Regina still loved Emma Swan more than she thought she could. More than she thought her heart still had the capabilities to love.

Something she had not felt since Daniel. Of course, her heart could burst from how much she loved Henry, but it was a different kind of love. Not the kind that had been ripped from her so long ago with no hope of it ever returning. The kind that the lack of which had slowly consumed and destroyed her. And now she had it back.

"I love you," Emma whispered, hands stroking Regina's hair.

"I love you, too." Regina eased off Emma, molding herself to the other woman's side, knowing that the hard work was still ahead of her. That she and Emma would probably fight often, though that seemed to be just how they communicated. She knew that now she had a responsibility to work as hard as she could on the possible vaccine. She had to do this. Perhaps it was penance for the pain she cause. Perhaps it was just what good people did. She did not know. But she did know that she would protect these people who had somehow become her family. Because family is everything.


End file.
